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i aint got no babies in my house.....i plan on spending time with them and disciplinong dem.i plan on takin em hunting fishin an shootin guns and drinkin with them at my house
You plan to write novels when you cannot properly put a sentence together or spell correctly? Very few literate people make enough money to survive writing novels anyway. How do you propose to obtain a real estate license? There isn't enough money in that field to support 25 kids.
I certainly you are not planning to have the state of Texas support you and your family.
I come from a heavily Catholic community. It was not uncommon for one or more of the older kids in these big families to go into the priesthood or the nunnery. I guess all that parenting at a young age turned them off.
I come from a heavily Catholic community. It was not uncommon for one or more of the older kids in these big families to go into the priesthood or the nunnery. I guess all that parenting at a young age turned them off.
Wow. That usually couldn't be farther from the truth. Usually Catholic families (especially large families) strive for at least one child to become either a priest or a nun. It is a religious calling and has nothing to do with not wanting to parent most of the time.
Wow. That usually couldn't be farther from the truth. Usually Catholic families (especially large families) strive for at least one child to become either a priest or a nun. It is a religious calling and has nothing to do with not wanting to parent most of the time.
Maybe you read my commnet wrong. I should have said, "It was common. . . " We all have different reasons for choosing our calling.
I have 5 kids, 1 on the way. My partner works and I work part time so I am able to contribute to the finances and also spend as much time as possible with my children while they need me. We do not have lots of money but we get by. I volunteer in the clubs my children go to and also foundered and run a local support group.
My children lack nothing. They do not get everything they want, but I do not believe they should even if I had less children and more money to go around.
They all go to all the sports and activities they want and actually the older ones are very dedicated and are doing very well competing internationally.
We eat healthily, my house is clean and my children help out by keeping their rooms clean and helping out here and there. I believe this is very important to help teach them independance in later life.
They are all exemplairy pupils and I have always been praised by their teachers om my parenting skills.
I get tired, I get angry, I shout. I have no time for 'me'. But I will have plenty too much time when they are grown.
But I enjoy every second of my children and love all of them equally. My eldest had leukeamia when he was two and I nursed him through every moment.
Every second is a joy with them and I would do it all over again.
And I am positive that I am a better parent and my children do and experiance more things than millions of people who have 1 or 2 children.
Look at yourselves and what you can do to improve your own children's lives before judging others.
I have 5 kids, 1 on the way. My partner works and I work part time so I am able to contribute to the finances and also spend as much time as possible with my children while they need me. We do not have lots of money but we get by. I volunteer in the clubs my children go to and also foundered and run a local support group.
My children lack nothing. They do not get everything they want, but I do not believe they should even if I had less children and more money to go around.
They all go to all the sports and activities they want and actually the older ones are very dedicated and are doing very well competing internationally.
We eat healthily, my house is clean and my children help out by keeping their rooms clean and helping out here and there. I believe this is very important to help teach them independance in later life.
They are all exemplairy pupils and I have always been praised by their teachers om my parenting skills.
I get tired, I get angry, I shout. I have no time for 'me'. But I will have plenty too much time when they are grown.
But I enjoy every second of my children and love all of them equally. My eldest had leukeamia when he was two and I nursed him through every moment.
Every second is a joy with them and I would do it all over again.
And I am positive that I am a better parent and my children do and experiance more things than millions of people who have 1 or 2 children.
Look at yourselves and what you can do to improve your own children's lives before judging others.
How on earth are you positive you are a better parent than someone with 1 or 2???
I could care less if someone wants to have 87 children so long as they can fully support each and every last one of them. When it cuts into my tax dollars is when we all get to have say.
I skimmed most of the responses so please excuse me if Im being redundant.
*Very very* long! I'll make no apologies for this one- I've got lots to say and wont force anyone to read it all ;-)
I don't 'deal' with having many kids-these are all people im thankful to spend my time with =)
We have 7 kids with one on the way. We homeschool and are on no public assistance.
Hubby makes decent money- not a lot-we would still easily qualify for foodstamps, but enough.
(the exception to this is a reduced fee at the YMCA)
The kids don't know we are considered low income because of our lifestyle choices. We are very frugal. We never tell our kids "we can't afford..", instead we talk about ways we could save for that expense. My kids are pro's at researching product reviews, cheaper options/alternatives, re-using...
My eldest two (17 and 14) started their own 'company' a few months ago- they collect odds and ends like broken or ugly things from yardsales, craigslist, the big trash heap down the road from us and fix/repaint/transform etc and resell them. (the windchimes from junk parts sell well!)
Not only are they learning business sense and budgeting, but they get such pride from making an ecological impact and a buck or two ;-)
The next two in line (12 and 10) walk ankle-biter dogs and clean dog poop out of yards of people in our area that we know and trust.
We talk as a family about budgeting, the pros and cons of going to the amusement park once during the summer vs going camping dozens of times.
We grow a great deal of our own veggies (a lifestyle choice that financial pays off as well), make our own bread and generally avoid fast, convienient foods. The kids are active participants in all these choices and actions.
For the 'wants' we all have, kids especially, we have always encouraged bartering. The sense of pride they feel when they have successfully traded an old something for a new (to them) thing is awesome.
Big ticket items- hubby and I set a few $'s each paycheck for throughout the year and either gift them for B-days or Christmas, or if the child can pay half of the conveted item we'll use that put aside money to pay the remainder.
We do not give into whims or impulsive purchase desires-everything bought needs to be talked about (aside from what the buy with their allowance like junk food, etc).
Time with each child- because Im home with them all each day, I find it very easy to have one on one time with each every day. Hubby spends an hour or 2 each morning when he gets home (3rd shift) with someone (alternating who's turn it is).
One on one with daddy over a cup of cocoa, a mini picnic, a 'secret' trip to McDonalds is low cost and means so much. I alternate who goes shopping with me for the quick trips.
We also started a 'king/queen for the day' tradition a few years ago. On a random day I'll pick one of the kids and wake them up by crowning them for the whole day. They get to pick all meals and snacks for the day (after given a list of options), they use the 'special' plate, get to pick what we watch on tv after dinner, get extra computer/gaming time, get a soda (lol I know that to some this is nothing, but soda is a pretty big deal at my house) and everyone makes a point of being extra sweet to the honored family member.
Weekends, we do something out of the ordinary, usually by vote unless its a planned suprise.
We try to be creative and have a jar filled with possible things, most all very low cost to free.
The more expensive outings like checking out a new BBQ pit, a day of the waterslide park, etc. are only done every other month or so and paid for primarily from the tax return money we set aside in a seperate acct.
The older kids *do* help with the ones younger than them but in no way can it be said they have the responsibility of raising them. I could also say I dont have the full responsibility either- we as a family do it- the trickle down effect.
My 2yr old caught coloring the wall gets scooped up by the nearest person and is told, "oh no, we don't color on the walls. lets ask mom for some paper at the white table."
I've seen it said that large families tend to be more strict....We arent strict (except about manners-Im super anal about poor manners!) and we don't punish really, its more correction and prevention and rewarding the positive
As I type this, 7yr old master of disaster gets to spend the whole day at my side today b/c of his decision to squirt foodcoloring on the bathroom wall after he cleaned the whole mess.
We use a star chore chart for everyone (even the 17yr old likes this lol). Catching good behavior has its own colomn. Working extra hard, overcoming a personal challenge (like not getting into an argument when s/he really wants to), being helpful etc. gets a star and the person who catches the good deed doer gets one too!
Stars are worth 5 points each and can buy various things. (like a lollipop, a $2 used video game, extra game time, picking movie night movie)
I do all diaper changes, make all corrections/discipline, help dress, bathe, jammies and bedtimes etc.
We also make use of a master schedule so no one little enough to get tempted to cause mischief is left floating around. No one under the age of 5 is allowed to be out of sight.
We are all doing schoolwork at the same same, with the littlest ones being able to get stuff out of the 'schoolbox' (toys and puzzles that can only be used during schooltime) in the same room as the rest of us.
Each child has a set chore in addition to their bedroom being cleaned. a 10 minute job tops unless they get playing around. Fridays we do a deeper clean and draw from a jar to see who gets to do what. The days hard work is always rewarded by a special dessert or a trip to the park.
THe older kids have 30 minutes every day scheduled with one of the littlest. The kid in charge can pick whatever activity they want to do or teach. Karate moves, 'advanced indoor tent building' and fingerpainting are the most popular. THe older ones benefit from learning to be teachers and the littles benefit from getting away from mom for a while and having a close relationship with big brother.
(I benefit a HUGE amount from this time too as its my "invisible time" where I sit in my rocker, take a break and recharge while still being available if needed)
I too am scheduled in on the chart- this is not as inflexable or restrictive as it sounds btw.
We seem to all do better with a firm routine-this also adds a great deal of excitement when we suprise the kids and break from our routine.
Attitude and feelings- Knowing each person in your house is key. You can pick up on more subtle changes if you really know someone.
Is someone feeling bored? More easily frustrated than normal? Having bad dreams?
Hubby and I will talk out anything like this that we see and try to come up with a game plan that we then present to that child. "we've noticed you've been acting (...) lately. Is there anything on your mind? What do you think we could do to help this?"
Our latest in this was solved by helping the child volunteer at the animal shelter.
Sometimes one of them just needs a night away (sleepover at a friends house), a need for greater privacy, greater need for socializing (additional phone time, more away -from -home activities), a chance to demonstrate more responsibility..
All these things require more effort on hubbys and my part but frequently the child has great ideas on how to make their needs/wants more easily obtainable and is always worth it.
Kids grow to be all that we pour into and onto them. Love being the most important! (love-not the passive emotion- but the action that always follows true love, like time and patience and willingness, going that extra mile to build someone up.
weeeeeph! THink I may be done..lol. My novelette ;-) I am passionate about being a mom-hope its contagious! =)
'A large family is no longer a signifier of a formidable one."
It seems to be turning into a status symbol more for the benefit parents. If you can raise that many kids fine but the truth this very few can. Living within your means is one thing but lving well below your means when you can't provide for them is another. I think another problem is how some larger Quiverfull families almost brag about being poor. They equate it with holiness. There is nothing Holy about kids with barely enough food and adequate health care. And why do people think families of 4-5 are always taking trips and spending oodles of money on entertainment? these fmailies live as tightly as the larger ones.
Talk about the buddy system, if you think about the younger Duggar girls won't have the responsibilities of the older girls. Who is gonna be their buddy? Chores isn't the problem but the rigid patriarchal gender roles.
Replacement fertility is two children per couple. I have a hard time understanding those that have >4 children in the year 2011. I purposely move to parts of the US that aren't seeing a lot of population growth yet still has respectable economic growth. Fast population growth just leads to more stress and more resources consumed- particularly suburban areas. A case in point is Utah. It has one of the highest population growth rates, largest family size, etc, but leads the country in having some of the highest stress levels amongst it's populace as well as the highest rate of anti-depressant use.
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