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My friend just told me how her husband never wants to go out with the family (wife and two small children) to things like carnivals, birthday parties, etc. He complains the whole time and would rather stay home and take a nap. She says this is normal.
I don't think so. It seems to me that there are plenty of husbands out there who would love to spend time with their wife and kids, going to the park, soccer game, Disney, or whatever. It just doesn't seem normal for the wife to take the kids around by herself on the weekend.
What do you guys think? I'm talking about families where both parents work, so it's not like the wife wants to get out of the house and the husband just wants to kick back after a long week.
I would like to think that most men want to spend time with their family on the weekend, but am I wrong? I know kiddie birthday parties might not be most men's idea of a good time, but I'm talking about staying home for MOST family activities, while she takes the kids out and meets up with her sister and her kids (her husband is also not there!)
Not everyone enjoy's public venues, tourist attractions, theme parks, or crowded parks. I would have the question the sanity of any adult who actually enjoys crowded theme parks and congested tourist traps but that's just me. That said, there should be some level of compromise to spend quality time together with your wife and children. So hubby can take one for the team a couple of times a year and go to Six Flags or Chucky Cheese for the sake of the kids, but also make time for the family to do things that everyone can enjoy.
I don't think this situation the OP describes is a good one. I'm sure it's normal for them, but I don't think it's healthy.
My dad was not a hands on dad. He worked full time and had a part time job on the weekends that was also a passion. He loved us and worked hard for us, he was just more the provider than the nurturer. He did things with us, just less often than what some would consider to be ideal. He made up for it in other ways.
I do that from time to time. Little kid birthday is beyond boring especially if I don't know any other parents. Most of the time, my kid is dropped off and picked up later. I'm also not in the picture when it comes to vacation with the in-laws; I'd rather be strangled. My wife and kid are going to spend a week in some state park in which my in-laws used to take their children for vacation. I get to stay home, work on the cars, and go racing.
My husband likes to do things with us, not necessarily with other people.
If we are doing things on the weeknd that just involve our familly then he's typically the one planning those outings.
He really dreads things like birthday parties for other kids and I never make him go. He'd rather not do the BBQ's and that kind of stuff either. But he doesn't sit home and nap...he'd rather be working in the yard, fixing something...etc.
my brother has problems with crowds and he has tried all sorts of medications and he just cant find anything to help him so he does not accompany my SIL to kids bd partys , picnics , bbqs etc... he stays home and she understands now the kids are a different story and she says they are not old enough to understand but when they can she will tell them that daddy has an illness that he cannot be in crowds . It is a shame I feel for the kids and my SIL and my brother too . Is it possible that this fella you are talking about could have an anxiety related illness as well ? Just sayin .
The man is probably tired. Do we know how many hours he had to work? He probably could stand to spend more time with his family or perhaps this is a sign of something else although it could be completely normal for them.
my hubby cant STAND public venues. So.. quite often we go places without him. Now, if its an overnight trip or something, he comes but for normal stuff around town ... hes just as happy to stay at home and play with the kids when we get back.
I know a guy right now, my wife's sister's husband (older dude), who doesn't like being around his grown daughters, their husbands and the kids (grandkids) anymore. When I first met my wife and her family, he did have more to do with them......don't know what happened!
As for me, my dad was always around on the weekends and mom, myself and him were pretty much always doing things (I was an only child). Worked on the farm, went to church, traveled to Michigan for a weekend with relatives, etc.
I just don't know about some of the "fathers of today", although we have seen a number of families (wife, husband, kids) on boats here. Now that was pretty neat to see! As far as a father going to an amusement park or water park with the family.......why the heck not! Wanna be a part of the kids and families life, do what they enjoy doing!
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