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Julia, I don't know how old you are but I am going to venture to say things are much different now than they were then when it came to young adults, pre-marital sex and spending the night at his house type of thing.
I can tell you what most parents thought 40 years ago. If you're adult enough to have sex with someone (and drink) you are adult enough to live on your own. No parent I knew would put up with the daughter sleeping with the boyfriend then using their house as a crash pad for everything else. No way, no how.
And no 20-something young woman I knew would have even TRIED it. Go have sex with your boyfriend then come home to sleep and use the shower and eat the dinner Mom made? And try and negotiate rules with the parent so she can get her own way? Yeah. Right.
Parents would have given that girl the classified section of the newspaper with the "Room for rent" ads circled in red.
Adult enough for sex and drinking with their friends = Adult enough to be out of the house and support themselves. ESPECIALLY the sex part.
I even know people who have those rules today. Yeowza. Parents in control of their own homes who don't think they should have to negotiate rules. Shocking.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-16-2011 at 05:37 PM..
Julia, I don't know how old you are but I am going to venture to say things are much different now than they were then when it came to young adults, pre-marital sex and spending the night at his house type of thing.
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
I can tell you what most parents thought 40 years ago. If you're adult enough to have sex with someone (and drink) you are adult enough to live on your own. No parent I knew would put up with the daughter sleeping with the boyfriend then using their house as a crash pad for everything else. No way, no how.
And no 20-something young woman I knew would have even TRIED it. Go have sex with your boyfriend then come home to sleep and use the shower and eat the dinner Mom made? And try and negotiate rules with the parent so she can get her own way? Yeah. Right.
Parents would have given that girl the classified section of the newspaper with the "Room for rent" ads circled in red.
Adult enough for sex and drinking with their friends = Adult enough to be out of the house and support themselves. ESPECIALLY the sex part.
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
I am officially nominating this for the post of the month.
Seriously, though, I don't foresee my daughter telling me she's sleeping over at her boyfriend's house. We've had quite a few sex talks, which I have related in other threads, and I think we have an open, communicative relationship. We will cross that bridge if we ever get to it.
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
OMFG I LAUGHED SO HARD.
And that's not old but still old enough things were different.
In my area that's not usually the case, most parents are informed that said child isn't going to be back that night and not much more is divulged.
Julia, I don't know how old you are but I am going to venture to say things are much different now than they were then when it came to young adults, pre-marital sex and spending the night at his house type of thing.
Also religion takes into effect too but then again I don't know if you are or not.
The reason I am "allowed" to is because my mom told me she knows sex is going to happen, she won't be ignorant with her children and she would rather us be safe and come to her as needed than not be safe and get knocked up/get someone knocked up (my brother is sexually active or was as well). We also are not religious, so there is no religious compass my mom goes by when determining our rules.
She will tell me not at her house under her roof with my 17 year old brother still here but outside of the house is fine.
I wouldn't say I have it cushy here and I wouldn't say I didn't want to move on with my life, when in fact I really do.
Which is why I said earlier in the thread that when I have kids as long as they are doing what they need to do and going into a direction and doing something with their lives, I don't care what they do outside out of the house and at night, but they wouldn't be allowed to just sit around and do nothing, I also wouldn't "take away" privileges or set curfews for them for doing so, it would just be a simple out or get your crap together.
Not sure what sex has to do with Julia's post...
I can tell you that if I did what you did, quit school, I'd have to do more than work to live at home. They'd have charged me rent. Maybe our families have different ideas about what "doing something with your life" means. Working at wal mart wouldn't have cut it for my parents.
So, are you waiting for you mom to say "get out"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I am really, really old: 38. I was married at your age, but that was back when we had to hunt wooly mammoths for food. People married younger back then because the mammoths sometimes stepped on you and nobody wanted to die a virgin.
Yesterday my 8 yo asked when I was born. I said 1973, and he asked if there were cars back then, or if people just rode horses.
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