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I do not understand why people are so against adult children living at home, regardless of age. If the adult children contribute to household chores and finances, what's wrong with that? Really, what's the difference between having a 35 year old who is married and sharing household chores/finances with his/her spouse or a 35 yr old living with a roommate and sharing household chores/finances or a 35 yr old living with parents and helping with household chores and finances. To me it all sounds the same. As long as people are responsible and help out, there should be no problem regardless of your living situation.
It can work in certain circumstances. I have a friend in her 40's who moved back in with her mom and helped pay for repairs and updates to the house. It is more of a roommate situation. I think most adults want more privacy and separation than that. Parents tend to be in your business if you live with them. Most adult children probably don't want that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen
She's an enabler.
It's not her fault that I haven't gotten my own place yet but it is her fault that I am still there.
She's enabled me.
Had she told me I had to be out by a certain date and meant it instead of just letting me stay then I would have been out a lot sooner.
She never means anything she says though so I know even if she did say I had to be out then I wouldn't believe her because she wouldn't enforce it.
I was really trying to skim through and skip over the "all about txt" portions of the thread, but I couldn't let this one go. You have got to be kidding me! Is there anything about your life you don't blame on someone else? Anything at all?
I probably speak for several people here when I say this. I don't have a big issue with you living at your mom's. I understand you wanting stability, and wanting to do it right. I have a problem with you complaining constantly, but doing nothing to change your situation. I have a problem with you blaming your situation on your mom. I have a problem with the constant excuses, when there are none. Quit talking about it and just DO it! If you get out on your own you will be more motivated to do what you need to do to stay that way.
Um, he doesn't even want the commitment of calling you his girlfriend. Good luck with that.
I don't blame him.
I don't even want the title till I have my **** together.
I just realised he has done me the biggest favor by not comitting, had we given it a go, I would have screwed it up, I am not in a place or have have the maturity to handle everything. I need to work on me and that's what I am doing.
Also its usually me who pushes for the sex more often than it is him.
Anyways...what was I saying....
Oh yeah, recent conversations are showing that he is leaning more towards a relationship than he was before and that things are progressing. He says I love you a lot and tells me all the time he wishes I would just get my own place already and how much he hates his roommate and wishes he could move out.
I was really trying to skim through and skip over the "all about txt" portions of the thread, but I couldn't let this one go. You have got to be kidding me! Is there anything about your life you don't blame on someone else? Anything at all?
I probably speak for several people here when I say this. I don't have a big issue with you living at your mom's. I understand you wanting stability, and wanting to do it right. I have a problem with you complaining constantly, but doing nothing to change your situation. I have a problem with you blaming your situation on your mom. I have a problem with the constant excuses, when there are none. Quit talking about it and just DO it! If you get out on your own you will be more motivated to do what you need to do to stay that way.
You said this much better than me. I just went on an emotional rampage and said GET OUT ALREADY. I'm too emotional lately. Gotta work on that.
I'm italian and still in my house: why should I move mandatory when I was 18?
It's compulsory leave home at 18 years in America?
You have to understand the Italian mentality is different in 18 years we have yet to finish high school (ends at 19) and then there's the university .... Many leave because they earn as the first university graduates and many there is no meritocracy in Italy,it's useless to study in Italy there is much recommended that you turn the damn place ..
With us is worth more "know-how, experience" that a piece of paper of any university....
There are high rents from us, then it depends on where you are, from the center or periphery, of course, but still high.
A liter of petrol costs as we take you 2 gallons, I repeat a liter!
However we remain close to home to work because it is useless to spend money just to pay for the rent (500-700 €) and bills (180-200 €), and unexpected expenses?, Petrol etc.. And arrivals already at 800 € -900, with a salary of 1100 € less, I have to tell you Americans do like to live with only 150-300 €?
Sorry for my very very bad english: i translate with google!
No it's not compulsory in most cases.
American kids are raised to be more independent than kids in other countries. One immigrant couple I know had Americanized kids and the father was telling me how back in his country, especially when he was growing up, kids never would have thought to turn on the television or radio and put on a channel the adults didn't select. Their Americanized kids didn't feel any hesitation in deciding what radio station to listen to or television show - even when quite small.
He said back home, kids didn't have their "own" music, clothing styles, hair styles. They didn't have the generational issues we have in this country and there, kids never move out. They marry and live with either the husband's parents or the wife's parents.
In the USA, we like a lot of elbow room. The idea of 3 or 4 families living in one house, with 3 or 4 housewives sharing one kitchen is alien to our culture. At about age 18, many kids start dreaming of moving out and some do. The parents remember their own growing independence and the excitement of getting their wings and flying away for the first time. Some kids don't leave at age 18, they might not leave until 22 or 23.
Americans culturally have a different view of the world, we want to explore, to spread out, experience new things, new places, find ourselves. Moving out of the parents' home is just the first big step.
American kids are raised to be more independent than kids in other countries. One immigrant couple I know had Americanized kids and the father was telling me how back in his country, especially when he was growing up, kids never would have thought to turn on the television or radio and put on a channel the adults didn't select. Their Americanized kids didn't feel any hesitation in deciding what radio station to listen to or television show - even when quite small.
He said back home, kids didn't have their "own" music, clothing styles, hair styles. They didn't have the generational issues we have in this country and there, kids never move out. They marry and live with either the husband's parents or the wife's parents.
In the USA, we like a lot of elbow room. The idea of 3 or 4 families living in one house, with 3 or 4 housewives sharing one kitchen is alien to our culture. At about age 18, many kids start dreaming of moving out and some do. The parents remember their own growing independence and the excitement of getting their wings and flying away for the first time. Some kids don't leave at age 18, they might not leave until 22 or 23.
Americans culturally have a different view of the world, we want to explore, to spread out, experience new things, new places, find ourselves. Moving out of the parents' home is just the first big step.
:sh ocked:
*proceeds to explode*
I couldn't fathom not having control over the way my hair was cut and styled or listening to music I liked or having that many people in the house.
We need an exploding emoticon....we actually need a MUCH BETTER selection than we have now.
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