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Why the "no afterprom" rule? Our school holds the afterprom (which is $25 pp and is all inclusive once you are there) - specifically to give kids something to do besides go to private after parties and drink. It's very popular and apparently lots of fun. The whole commons area and gyms are decorated in a theme...there are usually bounce houses in the gym, and a whole area set up as a casino (parents as dealers and monopoly money) and you can use your "winnings" to purchase all kinds of stuff. There is a DJ there as well as door prizes and tons of food/beverages. It's quite the event. Kids go to afterprom even if they didn't go to prom. DS did that this year. Went to a baseball game then went to afterprom....
The "no afterprom" rule at our school pertains to the location where the prom is held. Students are free to make arrangements to go elsewhere afterwards if they chose, and most don't. The prom is the main event, and when it's over, it's over, and kids go home. This year the prom was held in a large city about 20 miles away and parents did most of the driving to/from the event.
Why the "no afterprom" rule? Our school holds the afterprom (which is $25 pp and is all inclusive once you are there) - specifically to give kids something to do besides go to private after parties and drink. It's very popular and apparently lots of fun. The whole commons area and gyms are decorated in a theme...there are usually bounce houses in the gym, and a whole area set up as a casino (parents as dealers and monopoly money) and you can use your "winnings" to purchase all kinds of stuff. There is a DJ there as well as door prizes and tons of food/beverages. It's quite the event. Kids go to afterprom even if they didn't go to prom. DS did that this year. Went to a baseball game then went to afterprom....
That's the way it is at my local high school too. There is also a rule that prom can't be held at a hotel for some reason, mostly I think b/c it looks sleazy.
Both of my kids got lucky when they went to prom senior year. Both proms were hed in fairly nearby venues. Sometimes the venue is quite a distance, and these kids really don't know how to get there. One year, prom was held at Invesco Field in Denver. It was Cinco de Mayo weekend and there was a lot of cruising in the area, plus there was construction and a detour needed to be taken that did not appear on any of the maps. Another year prom was quite some distance away so my friend and her husband drove her son and his date to the prom, went to a movie, then picked them up. The girl's parents thanked them. That's where the limos come in handy, but they are expensive and one needs to plan ahead, something a lot of HS kids don't do.
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Originally Posted by Mattie
I agree with you. I do think the boys are under pressure to live up to the expectations of their dates though. Limos are the norm here, and since the proms are usually held in the "big city", there's a certain piece of mind involved for the parents that the kids aren't driving. In our experience the girls have selected the picture site, the restaurant, and the after prom party. The boys just go along with whatever they want.
My youngest frequently takes dates hiking, and packs a picnic lunch. It's his favorite way to spend a day. He's cooked several dinners for his current girlfriend too. Now that he's in college he has become much more creative in his dates. In high school, not so much.
The bold is not my experience. In fact, it was my oldest daughter who vetoed the idea of a limo as too expensive. I don't know who picked the dinner site; she just went along with what her group did. It was pretty much the same with my younger the year she went with a date. We took some pictures at our house, and then they went to another house to meet their group.
Quote:
Originally Posted by twins4lynn
The "no afterprom" rule at our school pertains to the location where the prom is held. Students are free to make arrangements to go elsewhere afterwards if they chose, and most don't. The prom is the main event, and when it's over, it's over, and kids go home. This year the prom was held in a large city about 20 miles away and parents did most of the driving to/from the event.
Well, it seems to be a tradition that you don't go home when prom is over. My high school did an after-prom even when I was in HS in the 60s. Back then, the actual prom was in the gym and the after-prom in a hotel nearby.
I agree that limos etc are common. They are here also...my only point was, that I do know kids go without all of those trappings. It's possible. And as far as "expectations" of the girls.....it's not always the expectations of the girls - but also of the boys - I remember the year DD went, the boys in one of the groups (not hers) insisted on getting a pricier limo because it was a Hummer limo.... And, in the example I gave, the picnic was quite the deal. He had set it up in a location with a great view, the brothers had gone ahead of time and set up the location with a nice tablecloth, their mother's china etc. The brothers even dressed up.. It was "not" a checkered table cloth and paper plates picnic by any stretch. And that was simply an example of alternatives that teens CAN choose something unique and still attend prom on more of a budget.
And the bolded sentence? Interesting observation...why is it the boys in your family seem to not have responsiblity for choices they make?
Such a burn, and on Mother's Day too. What can I say? My sons are nice guys, and not used to dealing with high maintenance females. That's something they will figure out for themselves. There has been a world of difference in the girls they've introduced to me from college vs. high school, so the younger ones have caught on a bit.
I'm sure it isn't always the girls, but here, they do the planning. It is a senior prom, not a jr/sr prom, so parents who might otherwise balk at the price tag go along for the once in a life time ride.
Do I think it's silly to spend so much for one night? Yup, and I am also sure it keeps some kids from attending.
Not intended to be a "burn"...but again only an observation. I'm sure your boys are nice - I never said anyone wasn't.....but I simply found it interesting that you are holding the girls pretty much wholly responsible...Who invited these "high maintenance" girls?
Such a burn, and on Mother's Day too. What can I say? My sons are nice guys, and not used to dealing with high maintenance females. That's something they will figure out for themselves. There has been a world of difference in the girls they've introduced to me from college vs. high school, so the younger ones have caught on a bit.
I'm sure it isn't always the girls, but here, they do the planning. It is a senior prom, not a jr/sr prom, so parents who might otherwise balk at the price tag go along for the once in a life time ride.
Do I think it's silly to spend so much for one night? Yup, and I am also sure it keeps some kids from attending.
Sorry, I don't see the "burn". The other poster was just saying it's not always the girls who come up with the extravagant ideas, and I agreed with her. I actually think the comment in bold is pretty disparaging to girls, and I certainly don't agree that all girls (or most) are "high maintenance". I was just about to post what the other did about inviting these "high maintenance" girls.
I graduated in 90. I didn't go to my prom. I think the tickets were 50 dollars and it was held at an upscale restaurant/banquet hall.
I have 3 friends with kids that are in the age bracket for prom. What I have found disturbing is the dresses the girls are selecting and even more so that my friends are cool with it. My 3rd friend's daughter just went to prom last week. Honestly I was dreading the pictures because I am expected to say how pretty the girls look and its pretty hard when I think the dresses are very inappropriate for their ages. I was pleasantly surprised that this friend's daughter selected a lovely age appropriate dress and she looked stunning! wheww...lol
My prom was held in 2000 I think, either that or 2001. Tickets were $40, I did notice people just in groups, there were not alot of "couples" that made some huge deal about it. I did not really see the appeal, I did not want to have my parents spend the cash on me. Right at the last second before prom my parents basically said, "are you REALLY REALLY sure you don't want to go? We will get you a ticket." I was suprised, but did decided to go. I picked up a $10 dress and drove over to the funtion hall with some grilfriends. It was alot of dancing, and let me tell you, this girl does NOT know how to dance, so I basically just hung out till a few of my friends got a little tired of the shindig and we headed over to the beach instead to run around and muck up our cheap outfits, which was MUCH more entertaining. Prom is really what your kid makes of it.
I was at the mall this weekend and I noticed FOUR separate groups of kids in prom clothes walking around the mall. Is this a new thing? Are kids going to the mall on their prom dates???
I was at the mall this weekend and I noticed FOUR separate groups of kids in prom clothes walking around the mall. Is this a new thing? Are kids going to the mall on their prom dates???
Maybe the food court? I can remember going to a college formal, and going to McDonalds with 2 other couples, dressed to the nines. We thought it was hilarious at the time.
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