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I think the overwhelming response to what this mother did proves that most people are smart enough to distinguish between this type of insanity and correcting flaws or defects that either do, or have the potential to damage self-esteem, or result in bullying.
I'd also add situations change in ways you can't predict. My DD8 has a hemangioma on her thigh. It's no bigger than a dime, and has never bothered her before. Since the weather has warmed up and she has been wearing shorts, and some little snot in her class has been teasing her about it. Now all of a sudden she is very self-conscious about it. I don't see the need to remove it, but she has to live with it not me, so I'll see what happens, and we'll do what we need to do.
Like I said on the last thread of this nature, changing a feature of the victim is not the right way to handle bullying.
Eh I disagree. I'm doing them a larger favor in life by teaching them that looks are not a great measure of a person and that we shouldn't change ourselves just so others accept us.
It's not an extreme view. It's teaching a child to love themselves.
Letting a child live with a disfigurement that is fixable because you have a stubborn principle regarding looks being irrelevant, which might be your opinion but not necessarily theirs, does not teach a child to love themselves, it just allows you to stick to your guns at somebody else's expense.
I think the overwhelming response to what this mother did proves that most people are smart enough to distinguish between this type of insanity and correcting flaws or defects that either do, or have the potential to damage self-esteem, or result in bullying.
I'd also add situations change in ways you can't predict. My DD8 has a hemangioma on her thigh. It's no bigger than a dime, and has never bothered her before. Since the weather has warmed up and she has been wearing shorts, and some little snot in her class has been teasing her about it. Now all of a sudden she is very self-conscious about it. I don't see the need to remove it, but she has to live with it not me, so I'll see what happens, and we'll do what we need to do.
Zimbochick, regarding your daughter's hemangioma, it should start to involute on it's own around 9 - I'm sorry she has to go through the teasing.
Eh I disagree. I'm doing them a larger favor in life by teaching them that looks are not a great measure of a person and that we shouldn't change ourselves just so others accept us.
It's not an extreme view. It's teaching a child to love themselves.
Good for you. It's not all one extreme or the other either you know. Forcing children to live with a defect could be considered cruel and unusual, especially if they are living with it daily, and not you. I trust mine, and my children's intellect enough to be able to distinguish between an entirely elective "vanity" procedure, and the surgical correction of a defect should we need to cross that bridge.
Letting a child live with a disfigurement that is fixable because you have a stubborn principle regarding looks being irrelevant, which might be your opinion but not necessarily theirs, does not teach a child to love themselves, it just allows you to stick to your guns at somebody else's expense.
Good for you. It's not all one extreme or the other either you know. Forcing children to live with a defect could be considered cruel and unusual, especially if they are living with it daily, and not you. I trust mine, and my children's intellect enough to be able to distinguish between an entirely elective "vanity" procedure, and the surgical correction of a defect should we need to cross that bridge.
Good for you.
I'm speaking on a societal level as well. If we condone changing OUR BODIES so others will accept us that speaks volumes about the type of society we live in. One that I'm not so proud to be part of.
And that's great. It obviously worked well for you. Every person and every situation is different though. I have no doubt that there are people out there it didn't work for. Their negative experience doesn't invalidate your positive one.
Zimbochick, regarding your daughter's hemangioma, it should start to involute on it's own around 9 - I'm sorry she has to go through the teasing.
Thanks! I know we'll probably just wait it out, and I think she'll be fine. It started out about the size of a quarter, so it is smaller now. It's bad timing with shorts, swimsuits, and the teasing all happening simultaneously, and at the age where they are starting to be a bit body-conscious.
And that's great. It obviously worked well for you. Every person and every situation is different though. I have no doubt that there are people out there it didn't work for. Their negative experience doesn't invalidate your positive one.
Meh. There are things with me that are non-negotiable on teaching my children. This is a biggie. I will never believe changing physical attributes so others will accept us is a good idea. I take a pretty hard line on this one.
Meh. There are things with me that are non-negotiable on teaching my children. This is a biggie. I will never believe changing physical attributes so others will accept us is a good idea. I take a pretty hard line on this one.
And mine is that our own experiences aren't the only experiences that are valid. Lots of gray areas in life.
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