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LOL Believe me, it has nothing to do with what a person can afford or not in terms of bragging annoyances. Bragging is rude, unattractive and desperate.
The baby will be better off having people in it's life that don't value material goods so much that they are blind to other people's lives and issues.
But it's not a crime, unethical or even wrong. It's just annoying but only if you let it be annoying. AND we all do it from time to time.
You never know what's going through someone's mind. Part of the reason my step mother bragged was she wanted us to know she was ok. That we didn't need to worry about taking care of her, financially. We were so used to it, it didn't phase us.
She didn't do anything for me when my kids were born but I didn't expect her to so there was no issue. She was always kind to them when we visited. You know, it never dawned on me to think she should have done something. If I need something, I ask. If you say no, I ask someone else.
It is good to remeber we're getting but one side of this story. I'm wililng to bet there is, at least, one more and the truth lies somehwhere in between the two.
Personally, I don't think it's rude to show off your new car to a relative who is out of work. I've been in this situation (as the person out of work) and I was just glad my relatives were doing well enough to be able to afford a new care. Sure I wished it was me but hard times pass. You get your day. I've been up and I've been down and I've never begrudged anyone a car, a coat or a vacation because I couldn't afford the same thing.
A person who cares for material things and bragging about them in front of others.
So what? Is that a crime?
My step mother was like this. Her things were her security. I don't need things to feel secure. I felt sorry for her. If I were to lose things, and life is a series of losses when you think about it, no harm done because I didn't need things to feel secure. For her, losing things was torment as she aged. She needed a lot of support.
What I find funny is that the OP comes here whining about what her boyfriend's mother didn't do for her but cites her for bragging about things? Gee, who's hung up on what they get here?
But it's not a crime, unethical or even wrong. It's just annoying but only if you let it be annoying. AND we all do it from time to time.
You never know what's going through someone's mind. Part of the reason my step mother bragged was she wanted us to know she was ok. That we didn't need to worry about taking care of her, financially. We were so used to it, it didn't phase us.
She didn't do anything for me when my kids were born but I didn't expect her to so there was no issue. She was always kind to them when we visited. You know, it never dawned on me to think she should have done something. If I need something, I ask. If you say no, I ask someone else.
It is good to remeber we're getting but one side of this story. I'm wililng to bet there is, at least, one more and the truth lies somehwhere in between the two.
Personally, I don't think it's rude to show off your new car to a relative who is out of work. I've been in this situation (as the person out of work) and I was just glad my relatives were doing well enough to be able to afford a new care. Sure I wished it was me but hard times pass. You get your day. I've been up and I've been down and I've never begrudged anyone a car, a coat or a vacation because I couldn't afford the same thing.
We'll have to agree to disagree. Once or twice is one thing. A pattern of behavior noticed by many different people, relatives, etc is quite another thing.
Ahhh.... my comment came from something she wrote in either #105 or #106, and is as follows. What an a$$hole!
"We sublet his apartment for a while, he was responsible for half the rent because he still used the apartment, but he didn't pay his share and we almost got evicted. I am the one who does the finances and everything is always taken care of but he made it look like it was all our fault and she bought it...even though the landlord only took him to court for unpaid rent after finding out he was pocketing the money we were giving him for the rent. (I kept all copies of the money orders we bought ). Our utilities got shut off because he also pocketed the money we gave him to pay for it. After that we learned our lesson but then ended up moving out because the guy who owned the house put it on the market."
Of course, if his was the only name on the lease, it's likely that he's the only one the landlord COULD take to court, but if the boyfriend did this... So how does something like this spill out? Did he say, "Hey, I'll move in with YOU and I'll sub-let my place to your kid and his girlfriend. So what? he moves in with mom, rent free, has use of his other place, but has someone living there, paying 1/2 the rent...and utilities, but never pays the landlord any rent....hence, getting her kid evicted? Yeah, sounds like a real frickin winner. Hey? He could be one of my brothers!!
He's the mom's problem to deal with. What I don't get is why he's still "using" an apartment the OP and her boyfriend are living in? The more I read, the less I believe about this situation.
We'll have to agree to disagree. Once or twice is one thing. A pattern of behavior noticed by many different people, relatives, etc is quite another thing.
The problem is, it's only a problem if YOU are the type of person to see it as a problem. It's not the bragging that's the issue. It's how the person seeing it takes it.
So what, my step mother liked to show off her newest acquisition. What did it hurt me to pat her on the back for a great find? Why should it bother me she had money to burn? And I had reason to have it bother me. The money she had came from my father when he died and passed to her children when she died. Once he died, it was hers to do with what she wanted.
What someone else has is no skin off my nose unless they stole it from my house.
We'll have to agree to disagree. Once or twice is one thing. A pattern of behavior noticed by many different people, relatives, etc is quite another thing.
I find it pitiful when you know people who go around boasting about all of their newest acquisitions, how much better their possessions are than so and so's, and then you find out they're being taken to yet another collection agency...or yet again, borrowing money from inlaws, or desperately trying to refinance their home...again, in order to keep from losing it all.
He's the mom's problem to deal with. What I don't get is why he's still "using" an apartment the OP and her boyfriend are living in? The more I read, the less I believe about this situation.
We are not living there anymore. We moved out in November. We were there for less than 4 months.
We moved to a different apartment right outside of Boston.
I had no income for a couple months. Our rent was almost 2 thousand dollars - which is not outrageous around here. My boyfriend missed a lot of hours at work because I was in and out of the hospital and he had to take me there. I was told not to drive into the city because of my health. He made most of our income and we went from making 6k to less than half of that. We had to give up the apartment and find a different one down the street from where I work...in order to save on gas and because it is much cheaper to live here. At the time (meaning when I was on bed rest) I worked somewhere else and lived 10 minutes from there.
The problem is, it's only a problem if YOU are the type of person to see it as a problem. It's not the bragging that's the issue. It's how the person seeing it takes it.
So what, my step mother liked to show off her newest acquisition. What did it hurt me to pat her on the back for a great find? Why should it bother me she had money to burn? And I had reason to have it bother me. The money she had came from my father when he died and passed to her children when she died. Once he died, it was hers to do with what she wanted.
What someone else has is no skin off my nose unless they stole it from my house.
There's a difference from sharing your good fortune with someone than rubbing people's noses in it. Yes, if I got a new car, a new job, or something else I was proud of, I would feel okay about telling people I cared about, and expect them to be happy for me. But when it becomes "my car is nicer than yours, my house is bigger than yours, my life is great and yours sucks," when people brag to people who aren't even that close to them, or when people are doing it for the purpose of making someone else feel bad or making themselves feel superior, then that's when it becomes ugly and mean. If I know I'm talking to a friend who is going through a difficult divorce, I might mention the nice dinner my husband cooked or something, but I sure wouldn't sit there and go on and on about my perfect husband and how wonderful he is. It's called tact and having consideration for other people's feelings. Clearly, the OP's boyfriend's mom lacks this, but that is just how some people are. Usually people who brag to that extent eventually find themselves with no one to brag to.
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Gee, who's hung up on what they get here?
So how does something like this spill out? Did he say, "Hey, I'll move in with YOU and I'll sub-let my place to your kid and his girlfriend. So what? he moves in with mom, rent free, has use of his other place, but has someone living there, paying 1/2 the rent...and utilities, but never pays the landlord any rent....hence, getting her kid evicted? Yeah, sounds like a real frickin winner. Hey? He could be one of my brothers!!
