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Yes, things happen. Believe me, I am the LAST person to judge anyone on getting pregnant. My daughter is not sexually active, but she has been on birth control pills since age 14--it regulates her period, evens her skin problems, and reduces her cramps...and if she does get "carried" away, and forgets to say "no"...we probably won't have to deal with any little surprise packages. I like children, I love babies...but parents need to be responsible in terms of accepting partial responsility of teen pregnancy, if you did not actively acknowledge that sex happens, and to openly discuss birth control with your sons and daughters...along with having values of morality, and abstinence...just because my daughter is on birth control, she is not promiscious.
There would be less teen pregnancy if parents put their daughters on birth control.
Discuss chastity...plan for mistakes, especially if your daughter is dating, and you don't chaperone every date!
My sons were told to respect women, and not have sex with anyone under the age of 18. I absolutely held the rule when they were in high school, they could only date with a group, doing structured activities, like going to a movie and pizza, then home...my sons even told me they appreciated having rules to fall back on, it kept them out of trouble. Now, when they went to college--i packed each of them with a box of condoms from Costco! They could never say they did not have a condom!
I know a family that bought their sons condoms when they were 13 and were sure to hand them a couple condoms any time they said they were going out on a date.
By age 18, their oldest had two girls knocked up at the same time. One kept her baby, the other went to an abortionist. He lived with the girl that had his baby for a while but they broke up and now he has another baby with another girlfriend.
I know a family that bought their sons condoms when they were 13 and were sure to hand them a couple condoms any time they said they were going out on a date.
By age 18, their oldest had two girls knocked up at the same time. One kept her baby, the other went to an abortionist. He lived with the girl that had his baby for a while but they broke up and now he has another baby with another girlfriend.
Condoms don't always work.
Malamute is absolutely right. Even though my daughter made an error in judgement when hooking up with this guy and ending up in his bed, she NEVER made an error in judgement by having unprotected sex. She got pregnant and they were using condoms!
No Jasper, it doesn't "sound cold"...it sounds like good, strong family values. We felt the same way...but...at the age of 21, while attending college and living at home, my daughter DID get pregnant. Because we did NOT support the idea of murdering our unborn grandchild, they live with us now.
She supports him completely, and financially, we are none the worse off. Things do happen and I do remember feeling the same way. My daughter was a virgin and had never dated until she "fell in love" with this guy. He is no longer in the picture (not even LEGALLY) anymore. She now has sole legal and physical custody and he has no visitation. This was not the way we "raised" our kids, but it is the way it is.
True.
I can't comment on the show because I don't have cable television and have never seen it but teaching children that a baby is a responsibility is good - whether the parents or a television show does that.
Their baby isn't what ruins their life and sometimes it may be sad to see a young girl have to grow up a little faster and have adult responsibilities but it can be a good thing for them to grow up and have to be responsible.
Some girls will love their little one and straighten up because now they have someone who depends on them. A lot depends on how the girl was raised.
A baby is far from being the worst thing that can happen. I think part of the problem is the trend to much later marriages. Back when the majority of people married between 18-23, it was seen as normal for a young woman to be raising children. It wasn't seen as normal in most generations for young women to be out partying, hanging in bars looking for the next man, traveling the world or even out in the dog-eat-dog world of corporations.
It can delay college and a career, or they have to go part time instead of full time. Or they find a career that doesn't require college. They may have to change diapers and feed a baby when their peers are out getting wasted at parties. It's not what parents want for a daughter but there are far worse things that can happen.
I know a family that bought their sons condoms when they were 13 and were sure to hand them a couple condoms any time they said they were going out on a date.
By age 18, their oldest had two girls knocked up at the same time. One kept her baby, the other went to an abortionist. He lived with the girl that had his baby for a while but they broke up and now he has another baby with another girlfriend.
Condoms don't always work.
True. And the kid actually has to put them on his penis.
That's why I advocate teen girls being on a more effective kind of BC.
However, they do need to be taught that condoms are essential for preventing STD's.
No glove, no love. Isn't that what we used to say in the 80's?
i hate to let go of it after being so close for so long but i guess im at the line where you have to figure out whether you keep trying or finally quit, and i think the only thing left for me to do is quit. i want to be there for her so bad & be apart of her as well as her daughters life but i guess thats not up to me. it sucks that im down to like...2 friends now. maybe thats my fault though because my interests arent getting drunk or partying. sometimes i seriously feel like a 25 year old stuck in an 18 year olds body
Well with a child you don't probably have too much time for friends, but I think you should reach out to her soon because she too will find herself with fewer friends and the party is over now.
The young mothers need each other to lean on, so I suspect that she will now have more in common with you and you can be there for her.
Now you can arrange play dates or just get together with your little ones and enjoy that. All that you have in common again.
True. And the kid actually has to put them on his penis.
That's why I advocate teen girls being on a more effective kind of BC.
However, they do need to be taught that condoms are essential for preventing STD's.
No glove, no love. Isn't that what we used to say in the 80's?
I think there's another aspect to it that is sometimes missed and that the reproductive side of sex - many of these kids deep down want a baby, maybe that in itself is part of the urge. Procreation
Even the boys can be seen bursting at the seams with pride that they have sired a baby -- but they aren't being taught that they need to work hard now and support that baby and help raise that baby.
The girls are often left to be the single mothers instead of having a help-mate.
My grandfather told me that biology has always happened. It happened back in his days. Way back when babies often arranged the marriages but he said that what's changed are the males. Before they were taught they had to be men, they had to grow up and be responsible, they had to be there for their children. Now they're taught to cut and run. Back in the old days if they did that they were "cads" -- something that meant not very good or responsible men.
My little sister LOVES those shows. Unfortunately, I think in her case she came away with the message that those people are getting by with a baby just fine, so she can too. She is due to have a baby this summer (yes, she was on the pill), and then she still has another year of high school after that. My parents were fine with her getting an abortion, but she refused. She wants to keep the baby. But she has no way to support the baby. She is still living at home and my parents are basically going to raise the baby until she can, which is going to be several years I'm sure. They are going to get legal guardianship and everything. I think my sister has no idea what's about to happen to her life. I think watching those shows did more harm than good. She seems to think of those girls as role models.
I've seen the show a few times. Like many things in life...people get out of it what they "want" to get out of it. I see several things for people to get out of it.
1) Having a baby is NOT all fun and games and the dad is RARELY as helpful as you think they're going to be.
2) Having a baby is NOT all fun and games...they don't just eat and sleep and some guys find out that the girls they got pregnant...are lousy mothers and are incredibly selfish!
3) Having a baby does not mean that your MOTHER is going to turn into this amazing "surrogate" mommy for you and let you off the hook, so you can go about, living your little teenybopper life. Mouthing off to and abusing your mother, when she tries to make you be responsible for your child, can backfire horribly. Mommy may get custody and YOU may get kicked out on your BUTT!
4) Doing homework and trying to finish high-school, when you have a little one, can be a real B**CH! BTW, while your old friends are out shopping and hanging at the lake (or wherever), you're tied to the baby...your high-school years will NOT be like you planned!
Interesting take on that show...my daughter watched it, and just really thought those girls were all stupid. Of course, my DD has had numerous opportunities to take care of small babies, who need the diaper change, have a runny nose, scream alot with colic, she told me after taking care of the last baby that she does not want kids for about 20 years.
I haven't been online in a while so IDK if anyone else has talked about this but I was just wondering what other people thought of this show. I'm almost 21 and I actually like this show. In my former high school, there were at least 10 pregnant girls a year and I know you probably think that, that's a small number, but I went to a very small school so for me that was a lot.
Then after 16 & Pregnant aired I went up to my high school to visit with an old teacher and I sarcastically asked how many girls where pregnant this year? And to my surprise she told me that there were only 3 or 4 pregnant girls that year and since the show has aired I've noticed less and less girls pregnant in my small town. I'm not saying MTV is completely responsible for this but I think that it has had some kind of impacted.
Experts say that teen girls will get pregnant on purpose just to get on the show, but I honestly cannot see someone doing that. Even a teen.
okay i am a teen, and i personally wouldn't ever get pregnant just to get on a tv show, but unfortunately, some people would. they would claim they want a afmily and they have extra motives to get money etc. It's sad, but true.
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