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Always a possibility of getting deployed but every volunteer in the last ten years knows that going in.
One has to balance the benefit to risk ratio.
My son has been in the USAF for four years now and has not deployed once.
What do you mean by deployed? He is serving somewhere, even in CONUS but he is still serving. It's just serving in the Air Force I would think it would be less hazardous than in the Marines or Army.
Always a possibility of getting deployed but every volunteer in the last ten years knows that going in.
One has to balance the benefit to risk ratio.
My son has been in the USAF for four years now and has not deployed once.
For every "not deployed once" there are plenty of others who are on the opposite end of that. A friend of mine joined the regular Army after high school. He was part of the Iraq invasion, deployed for 18 months. Cycled home and than got sent back over 6 months later for another 12 month tour. At that point his original enlistment was up and he chose to join the Guard. Three months after moving to his Guard unit they got called up for a 12 month Iraq deployment.
Another friend of mine is in the USAF and has been deployed 6 months of every year for the past 6 years to various Mid East bases.
The only point I was trying to make is that joining the military solely based on some cost benefit analysis is IMO, a poor choice. You should join because you want to serve, because they don't pay nearly well enough to justify getting shot at for a living.
You should join because you want to serve, because they don't pay nearly well enough to justify getting shot at for a living.
But realistically, what are the chances someone will get shot at? So many deployed personnel are serving in completely safe zones. How many Airmen have been killed in the past 10 years? Bounce that against the benefits of college tuition, leadership training, networking, the "experience", and last but not least, serving your country.
If money was an issue I think I would recommend certain people join the service. The other alternative is to work full time and take one or two classes a semester at night and take ten years doing it.
My perspective on this, my son is in the Army. He is not academic, college would have driven him crazy. He did not really seem enthused about any type of trades, and I was worried about what he would do with his life. I helped him study the ASVAB booklet, he took the test, failed the first time, and took it again, and passed with a score to be in the infantry. He went to boot camp, and LOVED it. He is motivated, and enjoys the challenges he has with his work. He is always going to different types of training on weapons, and learning new skills. Now, maybe some Mothers would not think that is great...I do, I would rather have a son in the military, than sitting home on the sofa at age 21, watching tv. He was not very motivated, and had no real direction or goals. He is doing well, and now thinking about going into dog training, to work with dogs that detect bombs. He has not been injured, although a friend of his was injured by an IED, but that is part of being in the military.
In regards to enabling...I think that we need to encourage age appropriate behavior, same as we don't expect our kids to be wearing diapers at age 4 or 5, or drinking from a bottle, or sucking a binky. Yet, some parents allow adults, yes, age 19 in an adult, to still engage in child-like behavior, being fully supported by parents, not having any adult responsibilities, or expectations of age appropriate behavior--like doing well in school. Believe me, if my dime is paying for school, I expect passing grades, or you can forget school.
I am not buying the line that adult children can just hang out at home, without jobs because the economy is bad. Right now, my daughter, age 18, cannot find a job this summer, not from lack of trying, that is for sure. She is signed up at the local VA hospital as a student volunteer, and will be working there for the summer. There was not, "oh, I can't find anything to do..." forget it...you can't find something to do, then I WILL FIND YOU SOMETHING TO DO! And she is fine with this plan. Maybe this internship will lead to a job next summer.
So, I suggest you do the same thing with your son...expect some adult behavior, call around, and find him a volunteer job. That way he can't say he could not find employment...and he will be doing something this summer, aside from just hanging out. Those days are over.
Last edited by jasper12; 06-03-2011 at 12:53 PM..
Reason: edit.
But realistically, what are the chances someone will get shot at? So many deployed personnel are serving in completely safe zones. How many Airmen have been killed in the past 10 years? Bounce that against the benefits of college tuition, leadership training, networking, the "experience", and last but not least, serving your country.
If money was an issue I think I would recommend certain people join the service. The other alternative is to work full time and take one or two classes a semester at night and take ten years doing it.
Realistically it is very remote, but a far greater possibility than it was in the 90's. I'm not downing service at all, like I said, a large portion of my family has served or is serving as well as many of my friends. Personally I came within a hair of serving as well. I was offered a ROTC scholarship, but was then also offered a football scholarship. It was my 40 year career Army E9 father who convinced me to play football.
I came from a generation that came of age in the twilight of the Clinton years. Recruitment was down, enlistment bonuses were high and many people saw it as an "easy" way to make money and pay for college. Actually serving in combat was seen as a remote possibility and something no one really thought about, it was just a way to "play" with guns and pay for school.
Many of those people ended up being deployed to combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. Most of them had zero desire to serve in that capacity. They always felt the worst that would happen is they'd be filling sandbags during a flood or driving nurses around in a snowstorm.
That is the point I am trying to make. For some people the military is an exceedingly great opportunity. An opportunity that they wouldn't have sitting at home. However, that doesn't mean that I think people should join thinking that actually going to war won't happen. If you aren't comfortable with that possibility, then you shouldn't join.
I know far too many people that spent their 20's fighting a war instead of showing up one weekend a month and two weeks a year. If you ask some of them, they'd trade their "free" education for a pile of student loans if it meant they didn't have to deal with the effects of what they went through. The ones who joined and WANTED to be in the military had a very different experience.
Step back and let him fall flat on his face, that's what my mom and dad did for me, it was the best thing they ever did. It hurt like hell, but I survived and am a better person for it!
Yes...He does have ADHD and was put on meds in Jr High School. He did not like taking the meds so he has not taken them in years. I have never used the "ADHD" as an excuse for him nor did I ever go to his schools about it. My thought process was that in "real life" you have to figure out a way to adjust and deal with things and not to use excuses. We all have issues of some kind and have to figure out our strengths and weakness and work around it. Maybe I am wrong by not pushing the meds on him but I have seen too many parents use that for excuses for their kids.
I definitely don't believe in drugging kids. The drugs don't increase IQ or aptitude.
I think you also have to look at what schools have become, the effect they have on male students in particular.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles
What do you mean by deployed? He is serving somewhere, even in CONUS but he is still serving. It's just serving in the Air Force I would think it would be less hazardous than in the Marines or Army.
It all depends on what fields you qualify for. My friend is in the Air Force, but is security forces and he was deployed in Iraq a couple of years ago. I know plenty of Army wives whose husbands are in fields that have a lower risk of deployment like cooks, engineers, band, etc. The ASVAB can be the difference into getting into fields that are lower risk no matter which branch you go into.
In this situation, I think military talk is premature. I think that refusing to send him off to his college will be a sufficient enough wake up call.
did very poorly.
You wrote he did poorly, maybe going on probation. Actually, he sounds pretty smart - he just miscalculated a little bit. If he got all Cs, then that is perfect efficiency. Getting a B is a waste of time - you studied too much. An A is even worse.
he is just lazy.
There's no such thing as lazy - there are only choices. He'd rather not do the work you want him to.
it was all lies.
I can't condone the lying. Or, is he really lying or outsmarting you verbally?
He is lazy and tries to find the "short cut" in everything he does.
He is smart for wanting to find the short cut in everything he does. Only a fool would seek to find a "long cut".
He told me "We are going some place else cause I do not want to clean up after they leave
Again, he is smart for rearranging his plans to save work. Good for him.
Is the above poster the OP's son?
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