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I am CF but I hardly think anyone is resentful of me.
Where did you pull that data from.
It's all a lifestyle choice. I know at 37, i don't want any. But you're 19,,,damn at least give yourself a chance to get to know you and what makes you tick. Trust me, you don't know that at 19.
Whoa man! No need to doubt fellow CFers. I have friends who made that decision before they were 20. Most of them had vasectomies.
I know at 37, i don't want any. But you're 19,,,damn at least give yourself a chance to get to know you and what makes you tick. Trust me, you don't know that at 19.
Well, they can know, but at 19 or 20, as someone else in the thread said, it needn't be a concern. I know it was an immutable path for me at 19, but I couldn't afford my own car, even less a kid. It didn't become a concern until I felt sufficiently established after college and into a career, then began to start seeing the dating pool as a mating dance rather than just plain having fun. Then it got crappy. In my youth, to men, marriage=kids. Trying to convince one to think outside The Life Script was a PITA.
I suppose in that respect I'm glad to see young people viewing the CF choice as one that is valid (even if they aren't past their shallow view of why one is CF). They just don't need to be in such a state of angst about it right now. It will be a vast help down the line to learn detachment and develop the confidence that comes along with that so that they present themselves to potential mates as "no, I don't want kids. yes, I am sure of it; have been for a long time. If this is going to turn into a discussion of why you think I'm wrong; why I should change my mind; I guess we can just stop right here."
The human race is in no danger of dying out. When you have children, you'd be devoting the rest of your life to providing for them. I'm too selfish for that. And when you think of all the women who trap men into paying child support for 18 years, the childfree life sounds like a very viable option. Have you noticed that women use children like pawns? I've made myself sick just thinking about it.
I'd much rather have a vasectomy and play the field my whole life. When I turn 18, (only 7 months from now) I will be legally entitled to that.
What do you think?
please do!
ETA oh wait, I just saw that you're only 17. I'm sorry that you have such a jaded view of parenthood. Grow up before you make a decision like that.
The reason I went there was so I could understand why some people with kids are so resentful of the CF. I kept reading stories about how CF people get angry, if not hostile reactions to their decision to be CF.
And some people like West of Encino have decided even before 19 to not have kids. And he's 23 now and still doesn't want kids.
I don't resent you, but I don't understand why a teen who never wants kids would hang out in a parenting forum.
23? That may sound old and wise now, but it's not. not at all. It's laughable that you even posted that.
Like I said, women who only have children to use as a money pawn. If you're going to have children, at least have them for the right reasons. Otherwise, I ain't judging.
And at the ripe old age of 17 you've had lots of experience with this? You actually think that the money a woman could get from a baby daddy comes anywhere near the actual cost of raising the child? really?
go ahead and get a vasectomy. If you don't, I think you're a dead-beat dad waiting to happen.
In their thirties and forties. Wow, mothers really do have a problem with the childfree. They tend to judge young people based on the personal decisions they make.
In their thirties and forties. Wow, mothers really do have a problem with the childfree. They tend to judge young people based on the personal decisions they make.
Why are women so obsessed with age?
I'm not obsessed with age I wondered how long it had been since their decision before age 20 to have a vasectomy. It is a completely relevant question. If you said they were 23 like the other poster, that wouldn't mean much, would it?
My best friend is CF. She doesn't judge me. I don't judge her. I do have a problem with the CF attitude that they are somehow smarter than us parents, though. And I do have a problem being told I'm judgmental while being judged by that person.
Exactly. I don't judge people who choose to have children, since that is a personal choice they make. Why should we get judged for the personal choice we make to be childfree?
My mother tells me "You've never had children, so you can't know if you like it or not". I've also never been hit by a car, but I have this sneaking suspicion that I won't like it.
When you equate having children to being hit by a car, or being trapped, you are judging. Don't have kids if you don't want them. It's your right. But you may not need the vasectomy. The negativity may just do the job.
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I wondered how long it had been since their decision before age 20 to have a vasectomy. It is a completely relevant question. If you said they were 23 like the other poster, that wouldn't mean much, would it? 