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I have no problem with people who choose not to have children, that's their business. It was a choice I made myself for a long time - 20 years at least.
But don't think for a second that if you are childless or childfree (a distinction without a difference) that you have any business whatsoever telling a parent anything about being a parent.
Anon- there is a difference between your experience and the teens on here who think they know everything. Please don't defend them. THEY don't have a clue.
I have no problem with people who choose not to have children, that's their business. It was a choice I made myself for a long time - 20 years at least.
But don't think for a second that if you are childless or childfree (a distinction without a difference) that you have any business whatsoever telling a parent anything about being a parent.
A parent isn't only a person who has sired or given birth to a child. Adoptive parents and foster parents are also parents. I think Anon is also talking about people who take care of children on a less formal basis too ... what about a beloved auntie who takes care of her sister's child every day after school? Would that woman know what parenting is like, even if only partway?
He is 19! Hmmmm.....you may see me and the rest as old fuddy duddies now, (as I did when I was young)-(and said stupid old farts, don't know me)-One day you will be old....and realize how effen freaken stupid and naive you were....just a child.
I was an idiot as a kid (19 & 20 is still a kid). I held down 2 jobs, went to school full time, lived on my own and paid all of my own bills. I was still an idiot. I thought I knew everything about life. I knew nothing. I didn't even know myself or what I wanted out of life. I thought I did, but boy was I wrong.
At 20, I thought I never wanted to be married and have kids. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted to live it and not have to be responsible for anyone else or have to check in with someone else. At 22, I was married. At 25, I had my DD. Now I can't imagine my life any other way.
A parent isn't only a person who has sired or given birth to a child. Adoptive parents and foster parents are also parents. I think Anon is also talking about people who take care of children on a less formal basis too ... what about a beloved auntie who takes care of her sister's child every day after school? Would that woman know what parenting is like, even if only partway?
She would know about being an aunt that has a hand in helping raise a child, but no she wouldn't know what parenting is like because it is a different responsibility.
I had a reasonable response typed, but then I realized it's not worth it. People will just call me a clueless teen
Because you are a clueless teen. Every teen is clueless.
Like others in this thread, I really don't give a thought or a care to someone who chooses to not have kids and I don't understand why anyone would.
I also give less than zero credence to thoughts of a teenager. Trust me, all of you "I'm a smart teen! I know exactly what I want! I'm not like all those other dumb teenagers!" You are exactly like all those other teens. It is not your fault, but it doesn't make it any less true.
She would know about being an aunt that has a hand in helping raise a child, but no she wouldn't know what parenting is like because it is a different responsibility.
But would you agree that people other than those who have fathered or birthed a child can be parents or have parental experience? Are people who adopt also parents? What about a step-parent? What about legal guardians--children might not even live with those people when guardianship is assigned, yet they are legally responsible for children who are not their own. Those children's "real" parents feel that the guardians can adequately parent in that respect.
There must be some continuum to you, unless your only criteria is biological. If an after-school aunt isn't it, what if the kid comes to visit for a few weeks? Or must there be an assumption that the child lives there permanently--well, that would exclude the foster parents. If it's the knowledge that I above all others am responsible for this child's life and safety, I don't see why a childless person can't have that.
I have no problem with people who choose not to have children, that's their business. It was a choice I made myself for a long time - 20 years at least.
But don't think for a second that if you are childless or childfree (a distinction without a difference) that you have any business whatsoever telling a parent anything about being a parent.
According to the TOS of this forum, you are wrong. I -do- have business telling any parent that ASKS, anything about being a parent. And in many cases, I know a hell of a lot more about parenting than the breed-mares who spawned their offspring. That's what makes them breed-mares, and not mothers. There are plenty of those here.
There are ALSO many loving, caring, quality, excellent mothers here, who are certainly not breed-mares. But don't for one moment assume that just because my womb does not produce offspring, doesn't mean I'm not a capable parent. And dont for one moment assume that being fertile makes a person a good parent. There are lots of women who murder and torture and abuse their children, to prove you wrong.
I'm still stunned that some people think their responsibility ends after the act. If you choose to have sex, even if you are protected, you run the risk of pregnancy. Those who habitually have sex without protection whining they never had a say are just brain dead. They are among us, here and off line.
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