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My daughter is 9 and she seems to be developing already, so we've already had the period talk. We kept it pretty basic..."Every month your uterus builds a nest for a baby to grow. If you have sex and get pregnant, then a baby grows in that nest. Otherwise, your body will shed the nest every month and that's your period. When you have a period, blood comes out of your vagina for several days or even a week, and you have to use pads or tampons to catch the blood."
We also covered what to do if your period starts at school and you don't have any supplies with you, and what to say if a teacher won't let you go to the restroom.
I bought her a couple of books too...one about puberty for girls, one about girls' preteen issues that also covers puberty, and one about puberty for guys...so she can read about what's happening to the boys too and how it's all explained to them. She's not much of a reader, but the info is there if she wants it, or doesn't want to ask me.
No worries, she heard you and she knows you are willing to talk and be there. Good job leaving the books, if she has questions she'll ask you or have those.
I don't believe in "the talk". We have started talking about body functions from 3 or 4 when they start wondering about their own bodies. We try to use proper names, age appropriate discussions and they see pets and animal shows on TV. I watch TV with TV ears so they don't ever hear anything but they do see "Baby Story" from time to time which is fine. They are both 9.
Still I'm way past menopause and don't have those supplies in the house and I really don't think about those things any more. Still I have slowly let them know what is normal and healthy and they will certainly be ready and armed with info when the time comes.
My daughters are 12 and 10, and my 12 year old has had the "health" class in school - I think around here it's in 5th grade...but we had talks around here way before that. Girls develop so early nowadays! We have had so many talks, that everytime I bring it up, the 12 year old rolls her eyes and says "I KNOW, MOM!" which makes me crack up. But I do try to be specific...like, hey, what you should do if your period starts during class (every girls fear, right?) and she's been carrying around a pad just in case for like a year now. I just don't want them to be terrified about it.
My dd is almost 11 so I figured I better explain to her about getting her period and all. I bought the books from American Girl to have as a back up! So I tell her last night in kind of a matter of fact way (my mother had never told me anything but just handed me a book!) so anyway my daughter was totally not interested! Didn't ask any questions and really didn't want to hear about it! I left the books in her room for when she is ready and reminded me to come ask me if she has any questions later. I was really surprised by her reaction and couldn't believe she wasn't more curious! I guess I was 12 when my mom gave me my book plus we had a movie in school. Anyone elses' daughter have this reaction?
I don't remember ever wanting to ask my mother anything. Just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean she's not curious -- she might just not want to discuss it with you! Sounds normal. There are other kids on the opposite extreme; I ran into several of them as a camp counselor, and I was amazed at just how much they wanted to discuss it with EVERYONE! I guess it just comes down to different kids, different approaches, different personalities.
I also agree with those who say that at 11, the OP's daughter probably already has information (or misinformation) about what's to come. I didn't have "the talk" with my kids, but ongoing discussions...nothing sugar-coated, just straightforward, proper terminology. By the time my daughter watched the film in 5th grade, she was already having her period, so she had all the information she needed. Not surprisingly, my daughter, who is 24 now, feels quite comfortable asking for information/advice from me about the most intimate topics, which, admittedly, can be a little unnerving!*lol*
Divine Ms. Q. I know what you mean . both my adult children can and do talk to me all the time about personal matters, like birth control, condoms, STDs, etc. I'm glad they feel comfortable enough to talk to me.
Neither is married but that doesn't matter to me. They are human and normal and healthy. I think they are so open and comfortable talking about all sorts of things because we discussed these things all along and didn't confine it to one or 2 "talks". It also helps for them to know that we, DH and I, are human too. Sometimes they only look at us as parents.
Like several others, when questions came up early on, I answered them truthfully in an age-appropriate way. Both of my daughter have seen my supplies of tampons and minipads and have asked why I used them. So I explained in very simple terms why (they are almost 7 and almost 9.) They use the appropriate terms for parts of the body and are not embarrassed (yet ) about asking me anything. I try very hard not to shy away from any question, but it's hard to answer with a straight face sometimes. Both my kids are adopted so with the almost 9 year old, I got the "Oh, so you and dad didn't need to do THAT because I was adopted, right" question. When I didn't immediately answer, she said, "Oh gross mom, you DID have to do that because you tried to get pregnant." I agreed with her.
Nobody ever said this parenting stuff was going to be easy .
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) about asking me anything. I try very hard not to shy away from any question, but it's hard to answer with a straight face sometimes. Both my kids are adopted so with the almost 9 year old, I got the "Oh, so you and dad didn't need to do THAT because I was adopted, right" question. When I didn't immediately answer, she said, "Oh gross mom, you DID have to do that because you tried to get pregnant." I agreed with her. 
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