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My dear hubby and I were almost certain that we were moving out of state this summer but unfortunatly our plans fell through. I was being upfront with my kid's piano teacher and letting her know that we possibly wouldn't be around next year but to hold our spots just in case things fell through. The teacher and I have a bit of a friendship so I've always have been open with her. I have nice back to back lessons for my son and daughter which is really nice. Well today, she informed me that she gave away my son's spot to a very pushy parent of her star student to accomodate their jam packed schedule (tennis, karate, Chinese classes, etc). This would mean splitting up my kids into different days and awkward times. My daughter has been taking lessons for 6 years now and my son about 2 years. Of course I am very dissapointed in the teacher since I was very firm on holding our spots. She is very, very good and my daughter has made considerable progress and wants to continue. My son goes with the flow but has stated that he wants to continue. He just isn't as passionate as my daughter and could probably take it or leave it.
So my dilemna--I also play the piano (advanced), have sat through 6 years of my daughter's lessons and have most of the beginning piano books. Have any of you had the experience of teaching your kids and filling in as "their teacher?" I asked my son if this was an option and he was okay with it but obviously disappointed in how this all turned out. Not being a professional teacher, I may miss some of the nuances of playing but probably not that many since he is still very young. I could look for another teacher but it still splits them up on different days and with my daugher entering middle school, I'm a bit nervous about juggling multiple activities. Have any of you filled in as the teacher (doesn't even have to be piano) and how did it go?
On an aside, the piano teacher tried teaching her own daughters many years ago and it didn't work out. She found them another piano teacher. There was too much child/parent conflict!!!
One edit: I am negotiating with the teacher and she is trying to work things out. I think that she is a bit intimidated by this other parent who is really, really intense. I'm hoping that things will work out but the way things are going, I'm not so hopeful.
I don't know if it's personalities or what, but I can't teach my daughter anything. It's like she doesn't take my instruction seriously or something - maybe because to her I'm just Mom.
I used to give horseback riding lessons to this girl whose mother was big into horse shows. I guess she had the same problem I have.
First off, I now TEACH my children school, after several years of public school I realized I was a better option, untrained but one-on-one, for my son than him being lost in a sea of 30 students. The next year I decided I could teach my daughter too, and that it was better for us as a whole to not try to juggle two completely different schedules. So yes, I teach now, and yes I often doubt my abilities, my performance etc. I figure if I'm not too confident, then I am taking the care and time to make sure I am doing the best I can.
So YES, you can teach your son piano.
Will it be just like the current piano teacher? Of course not
Will you struggle with parenting & teaching all at the same time? Of course, but isn't that what parenting is all about anyway??....teaching your children about the world and how to become an adult....why not throw piano in there too, especially since it's not one of his huge passions, you can't mess up too much. Lol
Have any of you filled in as the teacher (doesn't even have to be piano) and how did it go?
Well, I've homeschooled, so I don't know that that's exactly "filling in". It's gone pretty well for us, but it's also not for everybody (and that's not a value judgment; peanut butter fudge isn't for everybody, either). You'd have to know the dynamics of your relationship with your son to be able to tell whether it would work for you to supervise his progress on the piano.
I can't imagine doing it formally. (Meaning sit down and from 6 to 7 "we are going to have a piano lesson".)
I taught each of my kids guitar and how to harmonize. But it was straight out of the scene where the Von Trapp children and Maria are sitting on the mountain above Salzburg. My father taught them piano and several horn instruments. DH taught them bass. It was all very informal and something we enjoyed doing together. We aren't a "lesson" kind of family.
But if it might work for you I say go for it. The more music in the world the better.
Not every parent can teach, and not every teacher can parent. If you can do both efficiently, more power to you.
My dad was a concert pianist but had no patience for my ability to pick up on what I hear and mimic it back. I inherited my natural ear from my mom, who was a kindergarten teacher, but wasn't all that great with reading music. She was more concerned with pronouncing andante correctly, than understanding what it meant. I also have near-perfect pitch, and we had a baby-grand in the living room when I was growing up. When it was time for me to learn to play an instrument, I picked piano, and my parents hired me a teacher. Neither of them was qualified to teach it to me.
If you find it frustrating going over homework with your kids, then don't burden yourself or them trying to be their teacher. If, on the other hand, you enjoy the homework times together, and they listen to your guidance, and you guide them efficiently, then maybe you should give it a try.
Since you say you play piano, and your kids play, I'm assuming you do have one at home. Why not hire a teacher to come over and teach at your house? Then you wouldn't have to worry about odd scheduling, since everyone will already be home and no one will need a ride anywhere when the teacher comes over. Two kids, one lesson. Kids share the time.
I was brought up with private lessons on all instruments though so I never had the opportunity to understand why anyone would bring their kids somewhere else for music lessons. Our teachers always came to the house. Piano, guitar, and viola - I don't even know where my guitar or piano teachers lived.
I'm a music professor, so just a little advice from what I've seen and experienced...
First of all, I think it's terrible that the teacher gave away your son's lesson time! Ugh. That's disappointing, especially since she was doing it to favor her "star student." I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I do sympathize with her a little, though. It can be crazy dealing with intense parents of students! Still, she shouldn't have done that to your son.
Now, about teaching them yourself. I always advise against this unless there is no other option, especially for formal instruction. DewDropInn mentioned teaching her children guitar and how to harmonize, and I think that's different. That's more casual (but equally important!), and not exactly the same type of situation. That's not a student-teacher relationship, exactly.
There are several problems that you might encounter if you choose to teach them yourself. First of all, a good teacher gives direct constructive criticism of the student's playing. That works perfectly in the student-teacher relationship, but as a parent, you might find that the kid will take offense more easily, feel compelled to defend himself, etc. I had a fabulous, close relationship with my mother, but if she made even a slight comment about my practicing, I would bristle. I notice this with my students, as well. I taught young children for many years, and most of them did not want to hear musical advice from their parents.
It's such a tricky thing, though. I think that when a child is learning an instrument and learning how to express himself on it, it's a little different from homeschooling. It's less objective, so criticism can seem more personal than, say, these math problems are incorrect.
One other problem can be that you will always be around to hear his practicing. It can be hard to resist making comments, even if you swear that you won't! Students need time to go through things over and over on their own, and even the most helpful and encouraging suggestions can be frustrating. I'm not saying you're going to nag your son at all. It's just such a delicate situation.
AnonChick's suggestion of finding a teacher who comes to your house is a good one. If you ask around, you can probably find someone in your area.
One last word: I have two children, and my oldest (6) recently asked to begin learning my instrument. I showed him some beginning techniques, such as holding it and making basic sounds. But I immediately found him a teacher. I'm always there for answering questions, encouragement, etc., but I think it's up to the teacher now to shape his playing (unless, of course, the teacher turns out not to be good, and then we'll find a new teacher).
I'm sure you'll work out a good arrangement, and if you do decide to try teaching your kids, you'll know very quickly whether it's a good situation. What do I know, it could work out! I have seen it sort of work, in a couple of instances. Best of luck!
Thanks everyone for the replies. Your comments have given me much to think about. ItalianIce--I can understand perfectly what you are saying. My daughter and I have somewhat of a power struggle over piano. It is hard not to say things, especially if the kid is not doing what they should be doing like counting or just being sloppy. I'm not sure if I could restrain myself with my son and could see myself butting in during his practice a lot more. I'm really going to have to think about this. I don't want the joy of learning a muscial intrument being ruined by a pushy mom (me).
I'm in the process of working it out with this teacher today. I expressed how unhappy I am with her decision and perhaps this other mom can budge. Don't know but my fingers are crossed. Perhaps I may take the split up time slots if things don't work out and see how it syncs with next year's schedule.
The star student had an earlier time slot since her mom lines up all her activities like dominos. Star student excels in many other activities so activities must be scheduled with military like precision..... The piano teacher will be taking care of a new grandchild during the day so she has pushed lessons a bit later in the day. If I could find someone that came to the house, that would be fantsatic however most of the good teachers in our area teach out of their studios, in this case, the piano teacher's house.
My daughter and I have somewhat of a power struggle over piano.
Well, then the answer is clearly, "No, you cannot teach your own kid piano."
Your ability to play has no bearing on your ability to teach. None. They are completely separate. My best teacher in college could hardly play a note, but she was amazing as a teacher. My super-famous-blah-blah-blah piano teacher in college was horrible, but he's super famous and he only took on two students on a year. Who cares; he was horrible as a teacher!
I am a professional piano teacher and do plan to teach my own children if they want to learn. Most of my colleagues teach their own kids with remarkable success. There are a few who cannot teach their own children, but it's actually pretty rare and it's always a personality/power-struggle thing, rather than a teaching thing.
Now, as far as the piano teacher messing with time-slots. I actually don't see what the problem is. You said she is popular and in high demand. What makes you think that you should have a time slot "held" for you if you aren't currently using and paying for that time slot?
Would you go to work, and from 9:30am-10:00am you need to be there, but there is no work for you and you don't get paid--just in case something does come up for you to do?
The demanding parents are pretty funny, though. They are hard to work with. Maybe you are one of them, too?
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The piano teacher will be taking care of a new grandchild during the day so she has pushed lessons a bit later in the day. If I could find someone that came to the house, that would be fantsatic however most of the good teachers in our area teach out of their studios, in this case, the piano teacher's house.
