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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
reply only to mom and cc sis. Tell them you are sorry you can't make it to lunch. Are you able to go to the ceremony before work? If you can, you should.
If the person goes before work, then the mom would give some unbearable badgering to go to the lunch after setting up an awkward situation.
I would reply all and say "I'm sorry but my commitment to my job prevents me from honoring the event with my presence." and leave it at that.
Am I the only one who thinks this might not be the issue to "stick to your guns" about? It's a graduation! Yes, it sucks that it's on a Monday, but other people are making accomodations for it. Does the OP not get ANY lunch hour at all? That sounds wierd. This "maybe we can do something later" sounds like something out of an old 70s "assertiveness training" manual.
Forget the apartment issue for now and deal with this.
If the person goes before work, then the mom would give some unbearable badgering to go to the lunch after setting up an awkward situation.
I would reply all and say "I'm sorry but my commitment to my job prevents me from honoring the event with my presence." and leave it at that.
I don't think that, nor the fact that the OP isn't an early riser are reason's to miss the ceremony. If she goes to the ceremony, at least she can say she tried.
Am I the only one who thinks this might not be the issue to "stick to your guns" about? It's a graduation! Yes, it sucks that it's on a Monday, but other people are making accomodations for it. Does the OP not get ANY lunch hour at all? That sounds wierd. This "maybe we can do something later" sounds like something out of an old 70s "assertiveness training" manual.
Forget the apartment issue for now and deal with this.
It seems like it is all about priorities to me. I don't know what she has going on later in the week that she's taking off work for, but I wonder if it is really more important than this.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
I don't think that, nor the fact that the OP isn't an early riser are reason's to miss the ceremony. If she goes to the ceremony, at least she can say she tried.
Look, if they don't stop the buck here the mom will think they can bully her into anything. The OP needs to stand firm on this.
Quote:
It seems like it is all about priorities to me. I don't know what she has going on later in the week that she's taking off work for, but I wonder if it is really more important than this.
That's the OP's business, not ours. All we need to know is she does not want to take more time off at the beck and call of her mom.
Quote:
Am I the only one who thinks this might not be the issue to "stick to your guns" about? It's a graduation! Yes, it sucks that it's on a Monday, but other people are making accomodations for it. Does the OP not get ANY lunch hour at all? That sounds wierd. This "maybe we can do something later" sounds like something out of an old 70s "assertiveness training" manual.
This issue is much bigger than the graduation thing. It's about letting her mom know she needs to realize that the OP is an adult and not a child who must obey her every command.
Look, if they don't stop the buck here the mom will think they can bully her into anything. The OP needs to stand firm on this.
That's the OP's business, not ours. All we need to know is she does not want to take more time off at the beck and call of her mom.
This issue is much bigger than the graduation thing. It's about letting her mom know she needs to realize that the OP is an adult and not a child who must obey her every command.
^ she doesn't need to do that at her sister's expense.
If she's not working, she really doesn't have an excuse not to go to the ceremony. That is called supporting her sister, not being at the beck and call of her mother. Her mom's big thing is lunch. She's not going to that. If she can't attend the ceremony because she can't say that to her mom, that's a problem.
Look, if they don't stop the buck here the mom will think they can bully her into anything. The OP needs to stand firm on this.
That's the OP's business, not ours. All we need to know is she does not want to take more time off at the beck and call of her mom.
This issue is much bigger than the graduation thing. It's about letting her mom know she needs to realize that the OP is an adult and not a child who must obey her every command.
She doesn't have to put her sister in the middle of it. She should go to her sister's graduation and/or the lunch if she can. There will be many other opportunties for the OP to "stick to her guns" re: her mother. The "doing something later" is likely never to happen.
This all sounds like typical Mom stuff to me. You are making something huge out of nothing.
I think so too. My younger daughter has told me many times I'm "difficult" (b/c I expected her, as an adult living in our home, to help with housework, etc). That doesn't mean I have a personality disorder!
Looks like some further clarifications are in order. The reason I can't go to both the ceremony and the lunch is because they both conflict with my work schedule. The ceremony starts right before my shift starts and it's insufficient time to get back to the office on time. Mom's lunch get together is during my shift. I have only 30 mins allocated to lunch and together with travel + from the restaurant she booked, it's simply impossible to attend.
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