Parents and their sense of entitlement towards their adult kids. (support, play)
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I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.
First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.
On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.
I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.
Agree? Disagree? Discuss.
I was sorta feeling ya til the bolded part.
Sorry, but that just makes you looks like a major a hole.... life doesn't always work in that manner.
At 27, it's a little odd that you haven't figured out that sometimes in life we give, when there isn't any direct benefit for us.
Sorry, but that just makes you looks like a major a hole.... life doesn't always work in that manner.
At 27, it's a little odd that you haven't figured out that sometimes in life we give, when there isn't any direct benefit for us.
I have indeed come to this realization, but giving should be on my accord and not expected by others. Lets not get outrageous, if I feel they need something and its mine to give on MY accord then I most certainly will do so.
I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.
First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.
On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.
I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.
Agree? Disagree? Discuss.
First off--yes, most fetuses do ask to be born. That is the function of sperm and eggs and why fertile women have periods every month. "I didn't ask to be born" is the sullen talk of spoiled children. Yes, you did, or your little embryonic self would have self-aborted and you wouldn't be here. Suck it up.
Next, if a person enjoys being self-centered, there's nothing that anybody can say to change that. That kind of change has to come from within, and if you're not feeling it, you're just not. I will say, however, that selfish people are not much fun to be around, and if selfish people are lonely that's their problem to deal with.
Finally, having children so they will take care of you when you are old is dumb. Some kids are just ungrateful brats and there's no counting on them, so that is a bad idea. I've never heard anybody I know ever say that, though. It seems to be one of those things that people say that sounds good, but honestly, did two people gaze lovingly at one another and say, "Darling, I think it's time to plan for the future. We need some children to care for us when we are old"? No. They had babies because that is what people, like all creatures, generally do: they procreate. And in my experience, the ones who are given the least amount of direction and structure end up the worst.
Finally someone at least tries to address the OP's points.
Although, Julia, an embryo isn't exactly capable of self-determination.
My point exactly.
I was fully aware that creating this thread would spur the "they gave you life, respect them or else" group, but ultimately I'm looking for someone that can legitimately explain their views that honor and respect of parents is obligatory simply because "they gave you life". It was their choice to have sex. It was their choice to keep the kid. It was their choice to raise a family.
My parents and I enjoy a relationship of mutual respect. We did when I was a teen, we do now as adults, all of us. It seems odd that a 27 year old has such an angsty, "rebellious teen" attitude about parent/child dynamics.
Why is mutual respect appealing? Because life is more pleasant, enjoyable, and easy when it's there. Relationships richer and more full, etc.
My parents and I enjoy a relationship of mutual respect. We did when I was a teen, we do now as adults, all of us. It seems odd that a 27 year old has such an angsty, "rebellious teen" attitude about parent/child dynamics.
To be fair, we don't know how psycho his parents are. I know some seriously psycho parents...and I don't blame their kids for running as far away as possible.
You seem to be a bit misinformed. Lets logically think about your statement. A miscarriage is a combination of issues. Poor circumstances within the womb, health conditions, physical trauma. There is no scientific proof supporting your claim that a fetus decides to say "screw it" and kill itself. Come on now....
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