Parents and their sense of entitlement towards their adult kids. (attorney, milk)
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To be fair, we don't know how psycho his parents are. I know some seriously psycho parents...and I don't blame their kids for running as far away as possible.
No, I have no idea...but as an adult, it's time to proactively and maturely respond to issues with one's upbringing. Throwing on anti-authoritarian fits whilst pushing thirty seems a tad unbecoming (as does keeping track of billable hours when prevailed upon for a favor). And oh, so punk rock.
I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.
First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.
On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.
I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.
Agree? Disagree? Discuss.
Awwwwww that is so horrible. What rotten parents you have! Putting food on the table and making you eat a warm meal!!! That is disgusting you guys should write the BBC and get the word out! I am sure the starving African children will send empty bags so you fill food to send back and not have to go through this horrible ordeal!
Seems you did not read the entire post, yet just took your parental view based on the thread title. I implore you to read through it again.
And for the record, preteens absolutely cannot leave at anytime. Get a clue.
FYI, I'm 27; practice patent law and all paid for by MY money and handwork. I haven't lived under my parents roof since turning 17.
I read your post, and understand the english language more then most. Did you read mine? Eleven or whatever, kids have more rights then parents. If its such a tormenting existence... then leave, sounds like the child is beaten daily and shouldn't have to live in that environment.
My parents and I enjoy a relationship of mutual respect. We did when I was a teen, we do now as adults, all of us. It seems odd that a 27 year old has such an angsty, "rebellious teen" attitude about parent/child dynamics.
Why is mutual respect appealing? Because life is more pleasant, enjoyable, and easy when it's there. Relationships richer and more full, etc.
Mutual respect is indeed expressed and received by my peers and siblings. Parents, as I pointed out, have a sense of entitlement.
There is no rebellious teen syndrome as I've never rebelled against them. It was pretty much doing exactly as they say up until i moved out. My concern arises when I look back at the childhood of several individuals whom were not allowed to express an opinion.
One has to question the legitimacy of parenthood. Take for instance the issue of indoctrinating children in certain religious ideologies. Its essentially all or nothing. My post is not an attempt to be facetious or play devils advocate.
I see it as by the time you get to be an adult, your parents are probably middle aged, retired or elderly, so why disrespect them or refuse to help them out a bit(if you can; don't offer to build them a table if you know nothing about carpentry ) ? Unless they were abusive or just repugnant people, show them some respect and I am sure they will return the favor. Showing respect does not mean prostrating at their feet, just help out if you can.
You seem to be a bit misinformed. Lets logically think about your statement. A miscarriage is a combination of issues. Poor circumstances within the womb, health conditions, physical trauma. There is no scientific proof supporting your claim that a fetus decides to say "screw it" and kill itself. Come on now....
Those comments are either cheekiness, sarcasm or a helpless case of ignorance.
You seem to be a bit misinformed. Lets logically think about your statement. A miscarriage is a combination of issues. Poor circumstances within the womb, health conditions, physical trauma. There is no scientific proof supporting your claim that a fetus decides to say "screw it" and kill itself. Come on now....
LOL, of course it's not a conscious thing. The objective of living things is to keep living. Of course you wanted to live. Your little chromosomes lined up and out you popped.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."
Awwwwww that is so horrible. What rotten parents you have! Putting food on the table and making you eat a warm meal!!! That is disgusting you guys should write the BBC and get the word out! I am sure the starving African children will send empty bags so you fill food to send back and not have to go through this horrible ordeal!
Those African children wouldn't be in those dire situations had their PARENTS actively been considerate of bringing children up in said circumstances. You act as if feeding a child that YOU brought into this world is a favor.....its NOT. One thing that is obligatory is the responsibility of someone you CHOSE to bring into this world.
I understand that I hit sensitive point as my views are few and far between. I've had no traumatic childhood, yet I was far from spoiled having been employed by my dad since 14. But it goes without saying that parents, just because they did the right thing socially; seem to believe they are owed something.
Even though 2 of my immediate (i.e., non-spousal) family members have been living with me for about 10 years, essentially completely financially dependent, and sometimes outright disrespectful and cruel rather than appreciative, I provide for and take care of them, *because* I love them...
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike
Just a quick thought.....
I find it odd that parents often feel as though their children are obligated to listen to them, do for them, and "respect" them (even under the most ridiculous circumstances) all based on the simple fact that THEY chose to have a child. As a child, yes......well sort of. Reason for my skepticism is because no child asks to be born, parents ("adults") take it upon themselves to procreate, thus subjecting their offspring to years of indentured services if you will (a bit extreme, I know). Children have no rights or opinions according to their guardians. Now I understand that at the age of adolescence, heck....even young adulthood; that we do not fully comprehend how the world works.
First incident: My nephew, eleven years old; had been called down by his parents to join for dinner. Arriving as instructed, he simply said "I'm still sorta full from lunch, I think I'll just eat some cereal". The cereal being Rasin Brain folks, the kid loves it. Upon hearing this, his parents are worked up into such a frenzy and go on this rant about how they provide for him, how he's their son and will obey them, how he's suppose to somehow be thankful that they wanted to have him.....utterly ridiculous statements in my honest opinion. He, not having much choice, sat and stuff his poor little belly until I finally stood up to say something.
On numerous occasions I'm accused of being selfish, ungrateful and just a devil. All because I choose not to let my parents guilt me into doing favors. If its not beneficial to me or not convenient for me, I will refuse to do so. Selfish? Many might assume, but my point is that self fulfillment is paramount to leading a happy lifestyle. I rarely show up to family events because they are too far. Family members frequently call me for technical advice\assistance\services, I charge them as I would if I were consulting.
I guess my point and question is, why do so many parents choose to make servicing their needs obligatory to their kids? I understand that on may occasions these "standards" are to help raise a socially acceptable offspring but ultimately I get the feeling parents want kids so that they can be cared for by said kids once they reach an age where caring for themselves is not possible.
I see it as by the time you get to be an adult, your parents are probably middle aged, retired or elderly, so why disrespect them or refuse to help them out a bit(if you can; don't offer to build them a table if you know nothing about carpentry ) ? Unless they were abusive or just repugnant people, show them some respect and I am sure they will return the favor. Showing respect does not mean prostrating at their feet, just help out if you can.
I whole heartedly agree with this statement. Possibly the tone of some of my earlier post state otherwise.
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) ? Unless they were abusive or just repugnant people, show them some respect and I am sure they will return the favor. Showing respect does not mean prostrating at their feet, just help out if you can.
