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I've simply avoided listing any of my parents (mom, dad, and stepmom), so as to avoid drama. I don't think there's any other way to deal with it other than actually explaining the situation to your stepmom. It's facebook's fault they don't have more options, not yours!
You can make lists for whoever you want. I have one of my friends listed as "random stranger" just for our own amusement.
Drama over social media sites isn't new though. When MySpace was big people used to freak out if they weren't listed in the "top 8" friends! Honestly, I think people who create drama over social media would find something else to freak out over even without the online stuff.
Okay, so the resolution to this is that I was able to add her as another "mother", so now she is happy. Now just wait until my mom discovers it and sees that they have equal billing as "mother".... that will start a whole new drama...
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