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Try reading my story. I'm not changing my story. Nowhere in my post did I say I work hard. I don't work hard on my days off. That's the point. I do what a SAHM does on my days off and it's not hard. Technically, I should be doing more than a SAHM does when I'm home because, unlike a SAH, I don't have all day to do it so what I do should be harder but that's not to say it's hard. It's nod. I have to do it in fewer hours per week but it's not hard.
Just in case you missed it...here's a recap....I do what SAHM's do when I'm off of work and it's NOT hard. I, probably, do more than they do by virtue of the fact that I simply have 50 fewer hours per week at home to get it done and It's not hard!!!
I understand that you are being called out for many of your remarks but I have to take exception to this post as well.
You do what YOU do on your days of and is isn't hard for YOU. "What a SAHM does" is entirely subjective and will vary wildly from one person to the next.
Even if you are keeping house spotlessly clean, spending hours a day interacting with your children one on one, and the multitude of other things that we do as mothers (and I am not saying you do not) the fact that you do not find it "hard" is completely your perception and projecting it onto others is unkind at best and arrogant at worst.
I am very good at math (as you are too I assume) and things in diff eq or linear algebra, that other people thought were hard I found fairly easy. Meanwhile I still need people to explain to me analogies in the books I read because they go right over my head. Comparative literature comes easy to people and I find it "hard". You are of course welcome, as am I, to say that we find math easy but to continuously tell other people who do not find it easy, how easy you find it is not an attractive or kind trait.
Maybe everything comes easy to you and you do not find any of the things we have discussed in this thread hard. I for one had to work very hard to keep all the balls in the air when my kids were little, now not as bad. But if you are blessed and always have been in how easy you find the things that the rest of us work at, the least you could do would be gracious about it.
Just in case you missed it...here's a recap....I do what SAHM's do when I'm off of work and it's NOT hard. I, probably, do more than they do by virtue of the fact that I simply have 50 fewer hours per week at home to get it done and It's not hard!!!
You're right, it's not hard. Today I snuggled with my baby in bed while she nursed on and off, crawled around and practiced standing up while I sipped on coffee and lmao while reading Mr. Texas' posts on this thread. I took a walk to the park with both of my daughters where we soaked up the sun and enjoyed each other's company. I chatted with a friend and neighbor while our dd's played. I made dinner and enjoyed eating with my family. I watched my baby smear avocado all over her face, head and up her nose and then put her in the bath where my older daughter splashed her with water while they both giggled at each other. I snuggled my baby to sleep and now I'm sitting on the couch listening to a book on tape with my older dd. Other then cleaning the kitchen and making meals I didn't do a lick of housework today. I'll pay for that tomorrow. Some days are great and some are hard. Overall it's worth it to me.
Personally, I think Ivory's assessment is fair, at least as it applies to my life. My kids are school-aged, and the housework isn't all that demanding at this point. I'm usually done with everything by mid-morning, which leaves plenty of time to pursue my own interests, spend lots of time with my kids, and dote on my truly wonderful spouse of twenty-some years, whom I completely adore. Frankly, we have a terrific life together.
I agree, the older my kids get the easier the chores get and the lighter my load but I do remember being too exhausted at times when my daughter and sister were little to even shower. I personally, found that hard, mentally and physically.
I agree, the older my kids get the easier the chores get and the lighter my load but I do remember being too exhausted at times when my daughter and sister were little to even shower. I personally, found that hard, mentally and physically.
Oh, I agree completely. I haven't forgotten the early years with my kids.
I think my dh is as entitled to free time as I am. I'd rather share. According to studies the dh's of SAHM's work longer hours than the dh's of WM's. That's a little something I can give my dh. AND we'll get to retire together and have loads of free time.
BTW, I'm not saying I don't have free time as a WM. If I didn't, I wouldn't do things like post here. I do. I see no point in SAH so I can have more free time. Especially, since it could be at the expense of dh's free time.
The theory is that dh's of SAHM's feel pressured to perform at work and work longer to keep their jobs more secure while the dh's of WM's, don't feel that pressure and don't put in hours just to gain security. I can't for the life of me remember the difference in hours they work though and I don't have time to look it up. Sorry, I need sleep. I have another 12 hour day tomorrow There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. Should be down hill after Saturday...
Yes maybe the working Dads work harder and longer at work-- but they do not have to at home. In many cases they also are able to "climb the ladder' and make a much greater income..Ask me how I know. Some DHs love their jobs, especially when they have gained positions of power and respect. In this economy anyone who doesn't put in the time to gain security is at risk of losing their job. The spouse of a SAH has more time to relax, more time to concentrate on their career--and they get more sex. (because the wife didn't put in a 12 hour day) My husband would take hot sex over free time any day or night.
I agree, the older my kids get the easier the chores get and the lighter my load but I do remember being too exhausted at times when my daughter and sister were little to even shower. I personally, found that hard, mentally and physically.
Wish that were the case here. My daughter gets easier, my son gets harder.
Yes maybe the working Dads work harder and longer at work-- but they do not have to at home. In many cases they also are able to "climb the ladder' and make a much greater income..Ask me how I know. Some DHs love their jobs, especially when they have gained positions of power and respect. In this economy anyone who doesn't put in the time to gain security is at risk of losing their job. The spouse of a SAH has more time to relax, more time to concentrate on their career--and they get more sex. (because the wife didn't put in a 12 hour day) My husband would take hot sex over free time any day or night.
That would be an interesting research study. Do couples with a SAH spouse have sex more frequently than their dual-income peers?
That would be an interesting research study. Do couples with a SAH spouse have sex more frequently than their dual-income peers?
I did read recently that married couples in the NE have more sex, so all we need to do is see if there are more SAHMs in the NE. At least then we would have a correlation.
I think I saw the same study. Lots of correlative possibilities in those results. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking religious affiliation or family size might have something to do with it.
The study found that women in the 1950s had more sex because they were more likely to be stay-at-home wives with less hectic lives. A typical day for modern moms looks like this: breakfast for the kids and hubby, rush off to an 8-10 hour work day, spend lunch-hour at the gym, on the way home pick up some groceries and run other errands, pick up the kids from soccer, throw in a load of laundry, fix dinner, and finally squeeze in a little family time before the kids go to bed. With a frenetic pace like this, how do modern women find time for sleep, let alone sex?!?
yet the frequency of sexual intercourse among married couples has fallen in recent years. When Alfred Kinsey preformed his studies on married couples in the late 1940s and early 1950s, the average frequency of intercourse was twice a week. Social scientist Morton Hunt found that it had increased to approximately 3.25 times weekly by the end of the mid-1970s, which he felt was due to societal changes related to the availability of the birth control pill and the sexual revolution. More recent studies, however, have found that the frequency has fallen and now averages less than twice weekly
Not that the problem is confined to New Agers: former U.S. Labor secretary Robert Reich jokes about the pressure couples are under in speeches he gives on overworked Americans. Have you heard of DINS? he asks his audience. It stands for dual income, no sex.
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Wow you and your studies
AND we'll get to retire together and have loads of free time.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. Should be down hill after Saturday...