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It is a choice, and I, as a working Mom, always appreciated the work that SAHM Mom's did, they volunteered at the school, did elaborate birthday parties that my kids enjoyed, my DD was friends with a girl who had a SAHM, and I know she benefitted from that Mom at home, supervising both girls.
I don't think it should be an issue, some don't have the choice. As a single Mom, I had to work. No choice.
However, it always annoyed me, when my cousin, a SAHM, with a husband who owns an online pharmacy, acted like her kids were better, and smarter than mine because she stayed at home. Whatever.
My hairdresser said the same thing once. She said she was glad the other moms were there because she couldn't be. with all the arguing over what is better (neither IMO) it was very refreshing to hear her say that.
However, it always annoyed me, when my cousin, a SAHM, with a husband who owns an online pharmacy, acted like her kids were better, and smarter than mine because she stayed at home. Whatever.
Well... she was prolly just HIGH and in denial... so don't let it bother you. lol (JK)
It is a choice, and I, as a working Mom, always appreciated the work that SAHM Mom's did, they volunteered at the school, did elaborate birthday parties that my kids enjoyed, my DD was friends with a girl who had a SAHM, and I know she benefitted from that Mom at home, supervising both girls.
I don't think it should be an issue, some don't have the choice. As a single Mom, I had to work. No choice.
However, it always annoyed me, when my cousin, a SAHM, with a husband who owns an online pharmacy, acted like her kids were better, and smarter than mine because she stayed at home. Whatever.
Sometimes I think people behave this way because they're not sure that THEY are making the right decision. Even though they're not being "attacked", they get on the defensive because they're not truly happy, or at least not SURE if they are.
In the context of this thread due to the studies being used it means those with a formal education.
Formal education being...? Formal education could mean... dropped out of high school, got a GED, joined the military, took classes through the military to learn how to mount bombs on planes. Formal education according to definition is education that happens in a classroom, as opposed to informal education which happens outside a classroom. It doesn't really mean anything. It could mean high school diploma. It could mean college grad. It could mean someone who went to school for 3 months to become a CNA.
Does a formal education matter with regards to whether or not a parent chooses to become a full-time parent or not, and not work outside the home?
Do you need a college degree to change diapers, read to your kids, tuck them in bed at night, help them brush their teeth, attend parent/teacher conferences, volunteer at their schools, go to their soccer games, be there for them when they need you and also even when they don't? To love and support and nourish and nurture? They don't really teach those things in classrooms, do they? Or do they?
Parenting I think we can all agree, maybe, (which, like, you know - never happens ) is an example of informal education, unless you choose to take parenting classes. And you hear all the time how it's the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world. No college degree required for this gig. Of course the pay sucks.
And if it's supposed to relate somehow to finances.... implying that "formal education" (or I'm assuming people on this thread mean a college education) which supposedly creates educated moms/parents also statistically means that those parents will be financially better off and somehow more stable: consider the number of wealthy, successful people today whom only have high school diploma's. There are lists of people all over the internet. Some are even high school drop-outs. You probably know more than a few in your real lives. My hubby is one.
And consider how many people you know of or have heard about with college degrees who are losing their jobs, losing their homes, failing in their marriages, in rehab, struggling with addictions, struggling in raising their kids...
Personally I value education and I enjoy taking college classes (never had any sort of specific degree in mind but I've been taking classes for years just for the fun of it, I just enjoy learning) but I don't think a college education holds any real weight, really, as to whether or not a person should choose to stay home with their kids or not.
Last edited by haggardhouseelf; 10-03-2011 at 11:09 AM..
You can believe that if you want... Personally, I would rather be poorer. Money never made anyone I know happy. It just means higher taxes, more social responsibilities, and more people thinking that they should benefit from your hard work.
Of course, I had my SIL ask me last year for several thousand dollars, so her kid could go to an residential treatment facility for autism (my daughter is the only one NOT autistic in my husband's family). She expected my husband and I to pull my son from private schooling for autism to pay for her son's hospitalization. Even though the state paid for the hospitalization, she wanted the best of the best. My son doesn't get the best of the best, because we can't afford it.
Wow, I've never heard anyone say they'd rather be poorer than richer, but I guess there is a first for everything. I do agree about paying more taxes, that really disincentivizes the US.
My hairdresser said the same thing once. She said she was glad the other moms were there because she couldn't be. with all the arguing over what is better (neither IMO) it was very refreshing to hear her say that.
I really don't expect any other parent to do anything for my child. Please. So now people stay home so they can help MY kids? No, thanks. Our school is full of pushy parents who love to brag about doing this and that, usually stuff that's not needed but gives them something to do. These aren't all sah parents, by the way.
Sometimes I think people behave this way because they're not sure that THEY are making the right decision. Even though they're not being "attacked", they get on the defensive because they're not truly happy, or at least not SURE if they are.
I couldn't agree more, and this seems to be pretty evident on this board.
You can believe that if you want... Personally, I would rather be poorer. Money never made anyone I know happy. It just means higher taxes, more social responsibilities, and more people thinking that they should benefit from your hard work.
Of course, I had my SIL ask me last year for several thousand dollars, so her kid could go to an residential treatment facility for autism (my daughter is the only one NOT autistic in my husband's family). She expected my husband and I to pull my son from private schooling for autism to pay for her son's hospitalization. Even though the state paid for the hospitalization, she wanted the best of the best. My son doesn't get the best of the best, because we can't afford it.
I've never seen lack of money lead to 'less' stress - usually it leads to more. Financial insecurity (not saying this is you BTW) is VERY stressful.
A certain amount of money is necessary to live well. Not an obscene amount ~ certainly.
I would rather have rather be richer than poorer - but that's just me!
Wow, I've never heard anyone say they'd rather be poorer than richer, but I guess there is a first for everything. I do agree about paying more taxes, that really disincentivizes the US.
Let me be the second - money is just money and (past basic necessities for survival) in a forced choice I'd take happiness every time. Fortunately, there are both happy and unhappy rich people and happy and unhappy poor people and everything in between, so we don't have to make a forced choice.
ETA: As for SAHM, WM and every variation in between, I truly believe each family needs to make its own decision for what works best for their needs, financial and otherwise. There's not a right answer to this question, otherwise we'd all be doing the same thing. There are pros and cons to pretty much any set of decisions - it's up the the people impacted by those decisions to decide what they can live with.
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 10-03-2011 at 12:09 PM..
Money is nice but it isn't everything. Some people probably missed my posts from days ago. Just so you know where I'm coming from, I worked full time for 2 years after my first was born. Then I worked 1/2 time for a year and a half after my second was born. I've been home for 4 years, and am actively looking for a job now. If working moms were being attacked, I'd defend them. In this thread it is the SAHM's that have been attacked, so I defend them. Neither is right, and neither is wrong. People need to do what is best for their families. I've said that all along. I have done that in my own life
If you go back and read the dozens of pages over the last week or so, you will see that one poster has attacked SAHMs, called what we do worthless, irrelevant, unimportant. So, yes, we are on the defensive. I've never said staying home is more important, only that it can't be measured in dollars.
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) is an example of informal education, unless you choose to take parenting classes. And you hear all the time how it's the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world. No college degree required for this gig. Of course the pay sucks. 