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we don't have kids, but we love kids, as long as they are well behaved. my husband in particular loves these kids and gets them gifts, etc., but he has no tolerance for wild dangerous behavior in his own home. our home is sacred to us and we don't like things to be broken, damaged, etc.
it seems like the first day or 2 the kids are fine, polite, etc. then they let their guard down and start acting like animals. my husband has no tolerance for this.
my husband always says: "I just don't understand why parents don't teach their children to behave properly in strangers' homes."
i try to be sympathetic to both sides (my hubs, and my brother), of course.
last time they were here they stopped up the bathtub with goldfish crackers they dumped into the drain and my husband almost had a stroke over it.
they funny thing is that every time i have been to my brother's house, those kids NEVER EVER behave like they do at our house in their own house. but then again, they don't have a big house like we do, with dogs, etc.
Had my brother's kids over to the house for a few days. My brother lives in another state and they don't come to visit that often, about 2-3 times a year. This is the third time that he allows his kids (ages 5 and 8) to engage in behavior that my husband does not think is appropriate. My opinion is that they are just kids and we need to be tolerant. Can someone tell me who is right?
My brother and sister in law, when they come visit, essentially "check out" and allow the kids to do the following in my house:
1. Run around the house over and over at high speeds and knocking things over and breaking things.
2. Opening and closing and slamming doors for no reason.
3. Banging and throwing things against the glass sliding door.
4. Otherwise touching things they should not be touching, playing with the faucets, smearing food on my furniture, etc.
My husband says: "If they behave like that at home, fine. But I was taught that when you are a guest at someone's house, you are supposed to be on your best behavior. And it's like they don't care what they do when they come visit. Which is not right."
My husband gets into a very bad mood when they behave this way, and this causes friction between me and him and my relatives.
At 5 and 8, the kids should definitely know better than to be slamming doors and banging things against the glass sliding door. These are dangerous and they may get hurt.
I would talk to your brother about this especially since you say they do not act that way at home.
For the running, if you have a yard, set up something outside for them to do so that they run off some energy.
For the touching things they should not be touching, they are probably curious and you may want to supervise this rather than to forbid it altogether depending upon what it is they are touching. If things are truly delicate then perhaps you should put them out of reach when the kids are coming over.
Smearing food on the furniture can be dealt with by not allowing food anywhere except at the table and making sure the kids wash hands after eating.
You may want to make the rules plain before your brother and his brood descend on your house.
So I have my husband pissed off because these kids are not behaving properly in our house.
I have my bro/sis in law pissed off b/c my husband is getting angry/in bad mood with their kids.
And I am hiding in a corner with high blood pressure.
I don't think my brother and sis-in-law "gets it".
Frankly, lady you need to grow a backbone and tell your brother the truth. Your husband is right. If their kids won't behave appropriately, they won't be allowed in your home. Plain and simple. I don't know why this is even an issue. I would never allow anyone, regardless of age, to act like that in my home.
I could understand that behaviour in toddlers- especially running and smearing food- but not in a 5 and 8 year old. That being said, sounds like they are bored. Maybe next time they come, suggest some child friendly outings?
your husband is right. This is not acceptable. Time for a little chat with the parents of these kids. As parents of three kids, from toddlerhood to teenage years [now] my husband and I are even more insistent on good behavior when our kids are at someone elses home and out in public. Especially when we took our kids to a restaurant, we made sure that they did not disturb other diners. When on an airplane, we taught them what was not appropriate to do so they were not bothering all the adults around us. People would actually comment to us after the flight what well behaved children they were. Kids are capable of learning what they can and cannot do. Now, they may need to be reminded over and over again, but that's why the parents cannot "check out". They need to stay on top of them and supervise them. Yes kids do run around and get crazy, but dumping crackers in a bathtub? What did their parents do? You say they don't behave like this in their own house? Sounds like they are doing it because they can get away with it. Kids will push the limits if they can. Rules need to be set, for these kids and their parents.
They probably do the same stuff at home. I really doubt it's just the parents not paying attention to them when they are at your place that flips some sort of "bad behavior" switch.
Well the problem is that I don't think that my brother/sis in law think that the kids are behaving all that badly. In fact, I think they think they are actually behaving pretty well "considering that they are out of their element and wound up", as they put it.
This last visit, my brother approached me and said "What is John's problem? Why is he being such a jerk?" This was in response to my husband John telling the kids to stop running around the house, terrorizing the dogs, banging on the doors, etc.
So I have my husband pissed off because these kids are not behaving properly in our house.
I have my bro/sis in law pissed off b/c my husband is getting angry/in bad mood with their kids.
And I am hiding in a corner with high blood pressure.
I don't think my brother and sis-in-law "gets it".
Oh my gosh. You really had to post a question regarding this situation? Really?????
Aside from your bro and SIL, you obviously don't get it either. Any trouble between you and your husband regarding the behavior of these kids is YOUR fault.
They are behaving inappropriately and your husband is right. At that age they should know how to behave, with occasional correction.
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