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Had my brother's kids over to the house for a few days. My brother lives in another state and they don't come to visit that often, about 2-3 times a year. This is the third time that he allows his kids (ages 5 and 8) to engage in behavior that my husband does not think is appropriate. My opinion is that they are just kids and we need to be tolerant. Can someone tell me who is right?
My brother and sister in law, when they come visit, essentially "check out" and allow the kids to do the following in my house:
1. Run around the house over and over at high speeds and knocking things over and breaking things.
2. Opening and closing and slamming doors for no reason.
3. Banging and throwing things against the glass sliding door.
4. Otherwise touching things they should not be touching, playing with the faucets, smearing food on my furniture, etc.
My husband says: "If they behave like that at home, fine. But I was taught that when you are a guest at someone's house, you are supposed to be on your best behavior. And it's like they don't care what they do when they come visit. Which is not right."
My husband gets into a very bad mood when they behave this way, and this causes friction between me and him and my relatives.
My kids are not perfect but 1-3 would be unacceptable at home and even more so in someone else's house. The 4th unfortunately in inevitable sometimes,but still something that we would try to avoid
Had my brother's kids over to the house for a few days. My brother lives in another state and they don't come to visit that often, about 2-3 times a year. This is the third time that he allows his kids (ages 5 and 8) to engage in behavior that my husband does not think is appropriate. My opinion is that they are just kids and we need to be tolerant. Can someone tell me who is right?
My brother and sister in law, when they come visit, essentially "check out" and allow the kids to do the following in my house:
1. Run around the house over and over at high speeds and knocking things over and breaking things.
2. Opening and closing and slamming doors for no reason.
3. Banging and throwing things against the glass sliding door.
4. Otherwise touching things they should not be touching, playing with the faucets, smearing food on my furniture, etc.
My husband says: "If they behave like that at home, fine. But I was taught that when you are a guest at someone's house, you are supposed to be on your best behavior. And it's like they don't care what they do when they come visit. Which is not right."
My husband gets into a very bad mood when they behave this way, and this causes friction between me and him and my relatives.
Kids should not be allowed to run wild in anyone's house. Kids who are 5-8 should:
1. Be reminded not to run in the house. It's inevitable that they will forget and need to be reminded several times but the parents should be working on this with them. If the parents don't then you should.
2. Be reminded not to slam doors. They are certainly old enough that they can be taught not to play with doors. It's pretty dangerous to play with solid doors. Since it's a safety issue you should ask your brother to deal with this. If he won't, you should talk to the kids.
3. They are way to old for banging and throwing things against the glass door.
4. Kids touch things and sometimes play with faucets (water is fun to play with). However, smearing food on your furniture is unacceptable. I would tell them that since they smear food on your furniture they can only eat outdoors. Let them smear away and then hose it off.
You really need to address this with your brother as this behavior is unacceptable.
When I have friends or relatives visiting with wild children, I simply tell them, "would you get your child please?" when the kid is doing something inappropriate. Or, if like one friend of mine, they get comfortable and forget they have kids, I will chastise them in a way that lets them know that I don't allow that behavior in my house. Usually when the parent hears you correcting their child, they snap out of it. But one way or another, you should address this situation with your brother. Letting your kids behave that way in someone else's home is not right.
no, not acceptable behavior. It is your house, and your things that were being broken. You and/or your husband should have put your foot down and explained the house rules.
Location: Looks like I'm getting out "Valley On The Sun" Arizona
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Maybe the grown-ups should take the Que and play with the children.
Had the same thing happen when my cousins visited 3 boys 6-7 and 9 they were full of energy. I broke out water balloons and had a blast, wore out the kids everyone had a great time.
Truth be told it brought out the child in each of us.
Maybe the grown-ups should take the Que and play with the children.
Had the same thing happen when my cousins visited 3 boys 6-7 and 9 they were full of energy. I broke out water balloons and had a blast, wore out the kids everyone had a great time.
Truth be told it brought out the child in each of us.
School aged kids should not need adults to entertain them. Kids that age should be able to behave themselves while the adults visit with one another. These are not toddlers.
Hard when the parents of said kids are present but we require everyone to be well behaved at our place and that is what we get. I have no hesitation to speak directly to any child who misbehaves in our house and tell them how they are to behave and sometimes a warning like "we do not run in our house. If you keep running, then I will send you outside and you will stay there even when we have food inside". Hopefully their parent is within ear shot.
When we go to other peoples places, our kids know to remain well behaved even if there is a mad rabble and other kids being rude. Otherwise they know that they will be punished.
We do encourage kids to greet the adults and so on and then we try to organise for the kids to get into some physical activity where they can burn off energy. So we often ask the kids to go outside where they can do unstructured activities.
I believe that kids should be obedient and respectful and well behaved. Adults though should remember that kids have short attention spans and lots of energy and it is not fair to expect kids to sit quietly forever just because the adults are wishing to do just that. To me that is just lazy on the parents part. There are times when kids do have to sit quietly like at church or in a museum or at the theatre or even parliment but at a party at a friends house. nah.
Well the problem is that I don't think that my brother/sis in law think that the kids are behaving all that badly. In fact, I think they think they are actually behaving pretty well "considering that they are out of their element and wound up", as they put it.
This last visit, my brother approached me and said "What is John's problem? Why is he being such a jerk?" This was in response to my husband John telling the kids to stop running around the house, terrorizing the dogs, banging on the doors, etc.
So I have my husband pissed off because these kids are not behaving properly in our house.
I have my bro/sis in law pissed off b/c my husband is getting angry/in bad mood with their kids.
And I am hiding in a corner with high blood pressure.
I don't think my brother and sis-in-law "gets it".
this is probably a fairly common problem. Last time we visited my SIL and BIL we stayed at a hotel.
Did the kids actually break multiple items in your house? To me, that is where the line was crossed. If they were being so rambunctious that they broke multiple items, their parents should have intervened. Same with throwing things at the glass door.
Do you have kids? how old?
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