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All 3 of my kids have late July or early August birthdays and they started Kindergarten just after turning 5. 2 of the 3 were immediately put into speach therapy. 1 is just now beginning his 2nd year of speach and is still hard to understand but he will get there as my oldest did. I always joke that they send my son to speach class so he can learn how to talk and then send him to regular class and immediatly tell him to shut up.
My oldest son who is now in the 5th grade is doing just fine. He had 3 or 4 years of speach and now speaks like everyone else...
I know parents who held their kids back from Kindergarten because they felt they were not ready or were not mature enough or they simply didn't want their kids to be the youngest in class. It's been my experience that parents, especially first time parents, hold their kids back because THEY (the parents) are not ready. Its a big step so but I don't begrudge them none... as long as they get in school before they turn 18.
I am of the mindset that i would rather send my kid to school early and if they are struggling then I can hold them back a year. It seems to me they would benefit more by taking the 1st or 2nd grade twice vs simply waiting a year before starting school..
He did fine until about halfway through 3rd grade and his maturity level really started to show. It got worse with each consecutive year.
^^This is exactly what I worry about.^^
I knew a handful of kids when I was growing up, all with July birthdays interestingly, who really hit a difficult period during third grade. They each ended up being held back and either repeating third grade or a subsequent grade. It wasn't for academic reasons as much as social / emotional reasons, which is equally important in my book (how can a child focus on academics if s/he is struggling socially or emotionally?).
We most likely will hold dd back, unless there is some dramatic change in the next year (which seems doubtful). It has been my gut instinct for a long time now. She is socially immature for her age and when I see her with other kids her age she definitely "seems" younger in every way (physical size, socially, motor skills, etc). In groups of other kids she really gravitates toward the kids who are 1-2 years younger than her and has a blast. That by itself tells me she would do better being in the older group of her grade.
I don't see any downside to holding her back other than the power struggle that might occur when she turns 18 and still has a year of High School left.....
I don't see any downside to holding her back other than the power struggle that might occur when she turns 18 and still has a year of High School left.....
this is true. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to sent them off to college before they were 18 either.
I don't see any downside to holding her back other than the power struggle that might occur when she turns 18 and still has a year of High School left.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
this is true. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to sent them off to college before they were 18 either.
We held DS back (Aug birthday). He'll be 18 for his whole sr. year. He's not the oldest in his group or even the second oldest. I'm not expecting any "issues" regarding him being 18. That hasn't been the dynamic we've experienced.
We also sent DD off to college shortly before she turned 18 and I went at 17 also as the "cutoff" back in the day went with the calendar year. No issues there either.
It all depends on the child/ family. Do what is best for your circumstance.
I'm going to agree that being 18 most of the senior year is not biggie. My son will be 18 in October and there are many more kids in his class that turn 18 before him. So it's not like he's the only one. Not sure they think about in those terms either or compare their ages against one another!
The only time the age thing might be more obvious is when they all start getting the licenses.
My thought is if there is any doubt - any - hold them back before starting kindergarten. If you do it later, it's going to be much harder on them - they will have already made friends, etc.
18 isn't and shouldn't be a big deal. If your kids respect you at 17, they will respect you at 18. I plan on kicking my kids out at 18, at least that's what I tell them! so i want them out of high school arleady!
All 3 of my kids have late July or early August birthdays and they started Kindergarten just after turning 5. 2 of the 3 were immediately put into speach therapy. 1 is just now beginning his 2nd year of speach and is still hard to understand but he will get there as my oldest did. I always joke that they send my son to speach class so he can learn how to talk and then send him to regular class and immediatly tell him to shut up.
My oldest son who is now in the 5th grade is doing just fine. He had 3 or 4 years of speach and now speaks like everyone else...
I know parents who held their kids back from Kindergarten because they felt they were not ready or were not mature enough or they simply didn't want their kids to be the youngest in class. It's been my experience that parents, especially first time parents, hold their kids back because THEY (the parents) are not ready. Its a big step so but I don't begrudge them none... as long as they get in school before they turn 18.
I am of the mindset that i would rather send my kid to school early and if they are struggling then I can hold them back a year. It seems to me they would benefit more by taking the 1st or 2nd grade twice vs simply waiting a year before starting school..
This is MUCH harder on the child though. There have been many studies done showing that delaying starting school is much better for a child vs holding them back once they started. I don't know ANYONE that held their child back because they as parents were not ready to send them.
Parents aren't ready is probably an unfair statement but most parents are apprehensive especially with thier first child. So its easy to go from being apprehensive to 'lets hold him or her back' another year..
I can see how having to repeat a grade would be hard on a child in middle school but not so much in grammer school. Taking first or second grade seems like it wouldn't be that big a deal and it certainly seems that the reward of taking the same grade twice would far outweigh any downside..
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