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Do what you think is best for your child let me say that first. I have held my two oldest back and they did ask why junior was younger than they were when going to birthday parties. My saying to this is "I wanted to give you one more year to play since you are only young for so long". They smiled at me then went on to tell junior or anyone who made a comment to them "my mom is letting me play longer". As for the developing sometimes it does even depend on the age some children mature physically sooner than others. Simplify your life and know your child if you do want them to go into kindergarten then put them around older children that seem more mature (cousins, brother/sisters, etc) just don't forget your babies grow up way to fast. This does not mean that the children are not as bright as the children the same age because sorry folks mine are it is just that I gave them that extra year. The third child did not need it since he was around the older ones and trust me my babies are growing up way to fast in a fast paced world.
Hold them back. I was always the youngest in my class. I was definitely the smallest. I was also among the smartest. It's not a very good combination. I learned to keep my mouth shut for self preservation purposes.
Haven't read all the replies but I have an opinion.
First, she will resent you no matter what you do, so don't worry about that.
2nd We had our son repeat kindergarten because he was not mature enough for 1st grade. then we had a daughter repeat 2nd grade because she never should have been put in school when she was.
When we were making these choices we decided that we would rather our child be the oldest among his friends in high school rather than the youngest. It worked out great for us.
I say start at 6.
I really appreciate everyone's insights and advice - both the pros and cons.
I agree, we have to go with our instincts. My thought is that kids should be placed in a situation where they are developmentally similar to their peers if at all possible. MOST kids are ready at 5. Others might benefit from a slightly earlier or slightly later start.
Not sure what you mean, no kudzu, but not every child resents their parents for the choices they make.
I was simply referring to the general angst and drama which comes with teenagers. If you managed to avoid the "I hate my parents" phase yourself or with your children, then Bravo for you. Really. Since I am way on the other side of that with two of my kids (29 and 27) and a bit more to go with the other two (both 9), I was just trying to insert a little humor into the discussion.
Here is my experience. Everything depends on the particular child we are talking about.
I went to kindergarten at 4 because I begged my dad and the nuns said yes (he did not think they would). I was in a class of 60 children. I loved it and thrived. In first grade, however, the nuns slapped me with a ruler for writing my name on the flyleaf of my book. I got up, ran home and my dad told them never to hit me again. The next year I was in public school. Classes were smaller and there was more science. At any rate, I was fine. I graduated high school at 17 (winter birthday) and went off to college. I never had any problems academically, but I was shy in high school and did not have a lot of friends despite having started out quite social at 4.
My son was a short boy, good at athletics, but often not chosen for teams because of his stature. He was immature socially. We kept him in preK for an extra year and he went to K at 6. He did just fine too. He had his problems in the early grades. In high school, he found his niche. He was brilliant academically in math and science and luckily, our school system cross-teamed him and kept him with others who were similarly brilliant. He graduated high school at 18, but had 2 years of college calculus, a year of college chemistry, a year of college physics and a year of college biology at his high school. He, too, was fine.
My daughter went to K at 5. She was a social butterfly. She had lots of friends and did well academically. However, she had problems in 6th grade with girls who were verbally bullying her so we ended up changing her to another school in 7th grade. She did fine and had no more problems in high school or college either academically or socially.
The point is that no matter what you decide, you cannot predict the future and kids *will* have problems at some point during school. I am glad I made the decisions I did, but I don't think that the problems would have been worse with other decisions. They would have been different.
Next year my dd will turn 5 about a month before the cutoff date for beginning Kindergarten in our school district (in other words, if she were born a month later she would not be eligible to begin until the following year). I have considered starting her in Kindergarten a year later mainly because of some minor developmental delays. She generally has been slower to develop (usually at the late range of what is considered normal), and significantly behind in a few specific areas (e.g. she did not begin to speak until age 3). She still receives therapy for these delays, but does appear to catch up and reach milestones on her own eventually. There has been no formal diagnosis other than developmental delay. My thinking is that she might be more successful and experience fewer barriers in school if she has that extra year of development under her belt.
The other reason might seem silly, but it sticks out in my mind. My younger daughter was born right after the same cutoff. So even though they are just over two years apart in age, if we went by the cutoffs provided by the school district, they would be three years apart in school, which seems odd to me.
I've known people who waited until age 6 to begin Kindergarten and say it was a good choice for their kid. Other people have told me that she will later resent me for the decision, as she will realize that she could be one year ahead in school.
I do not want to set her up to fail, or put her in a position of later having to repeat a grade (if they even still do that).
Any insights, especially from parents who have been in this situation, would be greatly appreciated. Would like to hear pros, cons, experiences, etc. Thank you!
both of my kids started K. at 6.
both ended up skipping a grade because they were academically-advanced when they started.
so even though they ended up catching up with their age groups, I think it was the best decision.
I think more and more people hold their kids back nowadays, especially boys. Both of my sons were late summer birthdays, and our cutoff is Dec 1, so off to school they went - they were both ready and it was not a big deal for us. I was pretty surprised this year to go to school and have some of the kids turning 7, when my youngest turned 5 right before the school year started. So many people hold their kids back that I'm beginning to think starting your kid on time may be the unusual route now.
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