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The person who asked me about this does have something scheduled coming up in a few weeks. Not sure what exactly, but I know she has to go to court. So she is going to ask about the laws. I'll let you know the outcome.
I was hoping someone knew the laws, but it is surprising how many people said it's ok to not have a room for them. So I asked my ex, and he said there is no way he would ever not have a room for the kids. Would you all feel different if it was your own kids going to the other parents house with no room?
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,220 posts, read 1,877,655 times
Reputation: 886
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1phwalls
The person who asked me about this does have something scheduled coming up in a few weeks. Not sure what exactly, but I know she has to go to court. So she is going to ask about the laws. I'll let you know the outcome.
I was hoping someone knew the laws, but it is surprising how many people said it's ok to not have a room for them. So I asked my ex, and he said there is no way he would ever not have a room for the kids. Would you all feel different if it was your own kids going to the other parents house with no room?
My girls go to their mother and her husbands 2 bedroom apartment. They either share a bedroom or sleep in the front room. Before this she rented a room from a woman who sub-let rooms in her house. The girls slept with her in her room. Before that they either slept in the front room or shared a room with her previous boyfriends daughter. This is all in the last 6 months so as for the current situation, I'm pretty happy with it.
My only rule for the girls is they are not to lie in bed with their mothers husband as none of us have known him 6 months. This only came up because when I went to pick them up one day I saw my youngest lying in bed with him and her mother watching TV through the open sliding doors.
The person who asked me about this does have something scheduled coming up in a few weeks. Not sure what exactly, but I know she has to go to court. So she is going to ask about the laws. I'll let you know the outcome.
I was hoping someone knew the laws, but it is surprising how many people said it's ok to not have a room for them. So I asked my ex, and he said there is no way he would ever not have a room for the kids. Would you all feel different if it was your own kids going to the other parents house with no room?
If it were my kid going to visit her other parent who loved her, took care of her, and cared enough about her to spend time with her, I don't think I'd fuss too much about her sleeping on the couch.
After parents get divorced, in most cases one parent is the custodial parent, and the other is the non-custodial parent. Which generally means that the non-custodial parent sees the kids on weekends.
Should the non-custodial parent have a bedroom for the kids? Or should the kids just be sleeping in the living room, on the couch and/or floor?
What if there are boys and girls, should there be two bedrooms? Or would it only matter depending on the ages of the kids?
I think the only laws about opposite sex siblings sharing a room apply in a foster care situation
The person who asked me about this does have something scheduled coming up in a few weeks. Not sure what exactly, but I know she has to go to court. So she is going to ask about the laws. I'll let you know the outcome.
I was hoping someone knew the laws, but it is surprising how many people said it's ok to not have a room for them. So I asked my ex, and he said there is no way he would ever not have a room for the kids. Would you all feel different if it was your own kids going to the other parents house with no room?
If there are any laws, they would vary by state. I've never heard of any laws that say siblings can't be in the same bed or cannot camp out on the floor or must all have room of their own. Not even in the custodial parents' homes.
The person who asked me about this does have something scheduled coming up in a few weeks. Not sure what exactly, but I know she has to go to court. So she is going to ask about the laws. I'll let you know the outcome.
I was hoping someone knew the laws, but it is surprising how many people said it's ok to not have a room for them. So I asked my ex, and he said there is no way he would ever not have a room for the kids. Would you all feel different if it was your own kids going to the other parents house with no room?
It almost seems to me that you are here looking for any excuse whatsoever to deny visitation. If this is your true reason you really need to consider the nightmare you will unleash upon youself, and trust me if you cut out your X you will be the only one left to deal with their abandonment issues. I've seen it with friends and it gets ugly.
If that is not your reason, but you really think a child visiting their NCP and sleeping on the couch is beneath them then you really need to rethink your values.
I'm not sure what you're after, but it seems the best interests of your kids isn't driving this "issue".
What about the custodial parent. There are many situations where siblings share a room, sleep on the couch, with their parent, etc. Why would there be seperate standards for the custodial parent?
Think about it this way, if part of the CS is to subsidize an adequate home for the kids (because the custodial parent needs more room) where they stay 265 days of the year do you expect the non custodial should be forced to provide the same sleeping arrangements for the approximately 100 days/yr and still pay the same CS or should their CS be reduced to cover the cost of higher rent for extra bedrooms.
I don't know the laws. I do know that people should be reasonable, and work cooperatively as parents, and avoid going to court. I never had a problem, one time I had to live in a one bedroom place, my daughter and I shared a room, my sons slept in the living room. Their Dad had a place with his GF, and her kids had rooms, but my kids did not...that was okay, they did not live there...they slept on blow up beds when they visited, everyone was fine with that...
It almost seems to me that you are here looking for any excuse whatsoever to deny visitation. If this is your true reason you really need to consider the nightmare you will unleash upon youself, and trust me if you cut out your X you will be the only one left to deal with their abandonment issues. I've seen it with friends and it gets ugly.
If that is not your reason, but you really think a child visiting their NCP and sleeping on the couch is beneath them then you really need to rethink your values.
I'm not sure what you're after, but it seems the best interests of your kids isn't driving this "issue".
Pay attention, it's not about my kids. So your right, the best interests of my kids is not driving the issue. My ex already answered that they will always have their own space unless he can't give it to them.
And the original post was about spending the weekend, not denying visitation.
If someone is making $75,000 a year and denies their children a bed just because they can, and they'd rather have season tickets to the Indians, than they are the one who needs to rethink their values.
I just wanted to see if the answer was different if it involved their own kids. Because anyone can give an answer that seems the easiest when it's not about them.
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,220 posts, read 1,877,655 times
Reputation: 886
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1phwalls
Pay attention, it's not about my kids. So your right, the best interests of my kids is not driving the issue. My ex already answered that they will always have their own space unless he can't give it to them.
And the original post was about spending the weekend, not denying visitation.
If someone is making $75,000 a year and denies their children a bed just because they can, and they'd rather have season tickets to the Indians, than they are the one who needs to rethink their values.
I just wanted to see if the answer was different if it involved their own kids. Because anyone can give an answer that seems the easiest when it's not about them.
Who are you to judge.
We are not all required to do things the way you would.
And because we might not live up to your expectations and standards, I'm not sure that means we need to be drug in to court.
You want to start dredging up details about others finances, how much does your 'friend' already get from the ex in alimony and/or child support?
How much of his career, income, possessions did she walk away with and why did she choose to walk away with these things?
What is the background and history between these two and does that in any way play into your friends motivation?
Maybe this guy is just a cheap jerk and maybe he threw his marriage away with poor decisions. I don't know. I just know it gets old hearing about what jerks men are and the overwhelming silence regarding women.
It takes two to make things work although one can throw everything away for everybody involved. Sometimes for very strange reasons.
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