Having a family, worth it or not? (custody, divorce, single parent)

[CancerianMoonPrincess]

There's no guarantee that kids visit you. Most of the old people in nursing homes have kids that don't come see them hardly if ever.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by WyoEagle

Okay, so I have already posted a thread asking about the pros and cons of marriage but this is something that didn't really come up on that thread. Please understand that I am not asking for dating advice, I am not feeling sorry for myself, and I am not unhappy. I am just asking a questions. The question is:

Is having a family worth it? In other words, is it worth it to have kids? Would you still do it if you could start over again? The reason I am asking this is just curiosity. Like the marriage question I asked earlier, I am just asking if I am missing anything. I would appreciate input from anyone, whether you have kids or not, if your kids are good, if your kids are lousy, whoever.

I think yes. It's difficult to explain to a non-parent what it is about your children that's so rewarding, so interesting and how you can love anything that much - but it's worth it.

To me, if you don't settle and have a family - what was the point? (just my opinion and worth about as much as anything else on these internets)

[poletop1]

Never had any, so it is difficult to say whether it is for myself. It depends on the individual and their experiences as to how it turns out.

[usedtobeanyer]

It's amazing. I am so thankful I've had this opportunity. My kids are 4 and 2 and they drive my wife & I crazy at times but they are the greatest things that have ever happened to me. I feel an intense bond with both of them and they make me laugh out loud multiple times a day.

I'm 42 now and 10 years ago I never, ever, ever, ever, ever would have imagined that I'd have kids. But life has a way of surprising you.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by CancerianMoonPrincess

There's no guarantee that kids visit you. Most of the old people in nursing homes have kids that don't come see them hardly if ever.

and you know this how?

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by rkb0305

and you know this how?

I know you didn't ask me, but what CMP says is true. I know it because my mother worked in a nursing home when she returned to her nursing career after SAHM.

[Kibbiekat]

I really don't think there is a way to answer this question. There are just too many factors. People with kids will not tell you to skip it. Even though mine are a handful, and there have been days I've wondered why the heck we did this, I wouldn't change it. People without kids don't know what they're missing, so they can't give a fair answer either.

Once you are a parent, every decision you make will revolve around your kids. From what to have for breakfast, to where to live, to what kind of house to buy, to go out to dinner on Saturday or not, will all involve thought about the kids. If I didn't have kids, I wouldn't live in the house I do, in the neighborhood I do, probably even in the state that I do. There isn't really a way to explain it.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Hopes

I know you didn't ask me, but what CMP says is true. I know it because my mother worked in a nursing home towards the end of her nursing career.

I don't doubt that it's true. I just have issues when statements of "fact" are given with nothing to back it up.

FWIW my grandmother has Alzheimer's and just fell and broke her hip. Her 2 kids, my dad, and my aunt, have upheaved their lives to take care of her. Not all adult kids are deadbeats.

[formercalifornian]

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

[eastwesteastagain]

I think it really depends on who you are and what you want. Whether it will be worth it to you will take a lot of soul-searching at a time when you're ready to make those decisions.

I also think rkb is right that it's hard to get an objective answer from anyone.

For me, it has been totally worth it - it's not something I envisioned for myself when I was younger, but I am very happy. Though it's a cliche, kids really do change everything. It's not all sunshine and rainbows every second of every day, but nothing in life really is. For me, the positives way outweigh any sacrifices we've made. I wouldn't trade DS and impending DD for the world.