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My high school friends were rebellious but it seems like it was almost done to look "bad" or "cool". I have not dealt with rebellious teen since the beginning of my college years. I was not a rebellious teen when I was a teen, but my sister was rebellious to the point of stressing my mom out and almost send her to North Carolina to stay with my aunts at the farm. She drank, smokes, party, skipped school, dye her hair blonde (blonde hair was seen as a horrible and shaming thing in my culture), and would sneak out to be with her gangster boyfriend and be gone for a couple of days. Oh yeah, she moved to another school (this school is kind of for rebellious kids).
I might have guess why she was acting the way she was because that might have been how she coped with our father's death. I was more of "I need a lot of space" type of gal when something like this happen. I also remember her yelling at my mom "You don't love me" because she didn't feel love by my mom. Personally, I am 100% sure that my mom loved her but she was tired of my sister getting into trouble. Asians are not (IMO) good at expressing feelings. We don't talk about these "fluffy feelings" because it's not "normal". We fought a lot because I was tired of her rebellious. She's causing mom to stress out to the max. After I graduated from high school, I thought she wouldn't make it to college. Now she's in her 3rd year, majoring in Social Worker and Racial Reconciliation. I also had a talk with her during my sophomore year in college (her freshmen year) about her attitude and behaviors, how I don't appreciate that she's disrespecting mom when she sacrifice so much and if she wants to be taken serious, she needs to start changing herself. She has improved a lot since then.
When I went to Thailand for my internship, I did not see nor experience any teen rebellious. I taught at a middle/elementary school and my concept of middle school was a lot of gossiping, fights, and disobeying. I did not witnessed any fights, bullying, or had to deal with any disobedient behaviors. Majority of the time these kids love to tease each other and joke around. These kids respect their authority and elders so much, and if they did not listen to their elders, they would get some whipping. No jokes. I'm not sure what is your perception of kids with no parents, but I stayed at an Orphanage and these kids really respect their sponsors (or as I call it, their "parents"). I did not deal with any behavior issues with teens but with kids? Yes. It was almost seem like (IMO) how parents would love to have good relationship with their teens with no trouble. A lot of laughs and joy. I'm really starting to wonder if teen rebellious is really a cultural concept (North America and Europe) compare to universal concept (all around the world).
What is your take on this? Is rebellious seen as a big and horrific thing (such as drugs addict) or can it be seen as a simple no to reject parent's order?
At what age do children in Thailand start working? What age do they finish primary school? Do they all go to secondary school? If so, at what age do they finish secondary school?
Western society's demand for higher education is what has created rebellious teen phase. Prior to and during the industrial revolution, children finished school much younger than 17 and 18. And the went to work very early. (When I vacationed in the Bahamas, a 9 year old sold me shirts at his father's store. He was very much the adult salesman in his attitude and abilities. He worked for his family, he didn't go to school.) Teens are mentally ready for responsibility and independence much earlier than Western society allows, which is what causes conflicts with parents and authority in Western society.
Are Thai families close with their extended families? Do people typically live in the same city/town/village their whole lives? Is there a big focus on community?
We do not seem to celebrate 'comming of age' anymore.
I wonder if teens start to rebel because they do not see clear signals from their parents and society in general regarding understanding that as they grow then they become more mature.
Young men often get involved in 'risky behaviour' and these days that is seen as bad. Maybe they make their own 'comming of age' rituals?
At what age do children in Thailand start working? What age do they finish primary school? Do they all go to secondary school? If so, at what age do they finish secondary school?
Children can start working at the age of 13 but I've seen younger kids selling products in the street. They finish primary school around the age 11 (6th grade), and secondary school are divided into two levels, takes about 3 years to complete each level. They start high school at the age of 12 and finish at the age of 17. Most do not finish secondary school but the high school at my area (where I stayed) had a total # of 1,500 students.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy
Are Thai families close with their extended families? Do people typically live in the same city/town/village their whole lives? Is there a big focus on community?
Most people typically live in the same city or village unless it's for education, only do they move. And yes, they are very big on community as well.
We do not seem to celebrate 'comming of age' anymore.
I wonder if teens start to rebel because they do not see clear signals from their parents and society in general regarding understanding that as they grow then they become more mature.
Young men often get involved in 'risky behaviour' and these days that is seen as bad. Maybe they make their own 'comming of age' rituals?
Just a thought.
Because it is a bad thing...? Risky behavior isn't a good thing..
Because it is a bad thing...? Risky behavior isn't a good thing..
I think his point was that in western society young men are looked at as little boys for much longer than necessary. Without an acknowledgement of their budding adulthood some young men turn to riskier behavior to assert their growing manhood.
As a parent I see so many parents with the "my house, my rules" attitude towards their older teens/young adults. While they have the right to set rules in their own very often the rules they set are designed to control budding adults not to allow them to become full adults.
I think his point was that in western society young men are looked at as little boys for much longer than necessary. Without an acknowledgement of their budding adulthood some young men turn to riskier behavior to assert their growing manhood.
As a parent I see so many parents with the "my house, my rules" attitude towards their older teens/young adults. While they have the right to set rules in their own very often the rules they set are designed to control budding adults not to allow them to become full adults.
I think this may be a large part of the issue. We as a society glorify adult freedoms while simultaneously restricting teens from engaging in them. Many parents expect conformity to their rules without providing a graduating scale of increased freedom and responsibility as their children age.
I think this may be a large part of the issue. We as a society glorify adult freedoms while simultaneously restricting teens from engaging in them. Many parents expect conformity to their rules without providing a graduating scale of increased freedom and responsibility as their children age.
Temptation + Restriction = Rebellion
I see a lot of this where I live. I am always surprised when I meet the parents of some of my son's wilder friends. They have TONS of rules. No wonder their kids are wild. They are not allowed to do anything. So they sneak everything.
My high school friends were rebellious but it seems like it was almost done to look "bad" or "cool". I have not dealt with rebellious teen since the beginning of my college years. I was not a rebellious teen when I was a teen, but my sister was rebellious to the point of stressing my mom out and almost send her to North Carolina to stay with my aunts at the farm. She drank, smokes, party, skipped school, dye her hair blonde (blonde hair was seen as a horrible and shaming thing in my culture), and would sneak out to be with her gangster boyfriend and be gone for a couple of days. Oh yeah, she moved to another school (this school is kind of for rebellious kids).
I might have guess why she was acting the way she was because that might have been how she coped with our father's death. I was more of "I need a lot of space" type of gal when something like this happen. I also remember her yelling at my mom "You don't love me" because she didn't feel love by my mom. Personally, I am 100% sure that my mom loved her but she was tired of my sister getting into trouble. Asians are not (IMO) good at expressing feelings. We don't talk about these "fluffy feelings" because it's not "normal". We fought a lot because I was tired of her rebellious. She's causing mom to stress out to the max. After I graduated from high school, I thought she wouldn't make it to college. Now she's in her 3rd year, majoring in Social Worker and Racial Reconciliation. I also had a talk with her during my sophomore year in college (her freshmen year) about her attitude and behaviors, how I don't appreciate that she's disrespecting mom when she sacrifice so much and if she wants to be taken serious, she needs to start changing herself. She has improved a lot since then.
When I went to Thailand for my internship, I did not see nor experience any teen rebellious. I taught at a middle/elementary school and my concept of middle school was a lot of gossiping, fights, and disobeying. I did not witnessed any fights, bullying, or had to deal with any disobedient behaviors. Majority of the time these kids love to tease each other and joke around. These kids respect their authority and elders so much, and if they did not listen to their elders, they would get some whipping. No jokes. I'm not sure what is your perception of kids with no parents, but I stayed at an Orphanage and these kids really respect their sponsors (or as I call it, their "parents"). I did not deal with any behavior issues with teens but with kids? Yes. It was almost seem like (IMO) how parents would love to have good relationship with their teens with no trouble. A lot of laughs and joy. I'm really starting to wonder if teen rebellious is really a cultural concept (North America and Europe) compare to universal concept (all around the world).
What is your take on this? Is rebellious seen as a big and horrific thing (such as drugs addict) or can it be seen as a simple no to reject parent's order?
I can see how teen rebellion could be a cultural thing in many instances. In a culture where families are in close daily contact with one another (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins in addition to parents and siblings) and have strong ties to their communities a teen will have countless people who they can go to for advice, support and guidance. They are surrounded by people who love and care for them and people who know them very well.
In the US most teens have either both or one parent and maybe some siblings. Many don't have close daily contact with their extended families and few have strong connections to their communities at large. Teenagers have very few adults to turn to for advice, support and guidance which means they they will in turn go to their peers for this. You have teenagers providing advice, support and guidance for one another and when you think about it it's almost like the blind leading the blind which is a recipe for disaster.
Just some of my thoughts.
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