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I'm not begrudging their fun. They can have it. Just don't look at me like I have 3 heads when I choose not to participate. I am struggling financially myself, even $5 is a lot of money for me.
Sounds like you are. Especially considering the negative words being bandied about.
Isn't the wedding reception the "big celebration" of the marriage? If a celebration is what the person wants, they can have a party without calling it a "shower."
Sure. But showers are also a traditional part of the overall wedding experience, so the first-timer in the couple should experience that.
And honestly, I think that goes for baby showers, too. If the mom already has a child and is expecting a second child with her new husband, I don't have a problem with that at all. I attended a baby shower this past weekend and am going to another Sunday. Honestly, the husbands in both cases are the more excited ones. LOL
*In my circle, baby and wedding showers are co-ed events, so that might skew my perception.
I'm going to choose to ignore you from now on. Clearly you can't read since I stated before that I am not the only one who feels this way.
I am able to read. You have just said you feel the same way as others - that it is wrong and tacky. I say this means you are begrudging someone else because you don't agree with the celebration.
I'm not begrudging their fun. They can have it. Just don't look at me like I have 3 heads when I choose not to participate. I am struggling financially myself, even $5 is a lot of money for me.
Are you in a large office? When we have showers here, you can choose to go or not go. There have been several times I have skippied showers because I didn't really know the person. I had office wedding and baby showers and the people I thought would come came and the ones I didn't think would come didn't. And I was surprised by some of the people who did come. Either way, people never keep tabs on who gave. But if you're in a smaller office, I can see the politics of it. I still think signs with no mention of gifts is the better way to go.
The purpose of a shower is to get gifts. Yes, you are celebrating too, but when you call it a shower, guests are expected to bring a gift. It is tacky to ask for gifts for a second or 3rd child when you just got a bunch of gifts for the first one 1, 2, 3 years ago. If you want to celebrate a birth, have a party after the baby is born, or for the baptism, or something.
I agree. I had a blessingway for my second with only my closest friends in attendance. It was a way to celebrate my pregnancy and the impending birth. We had a pot luck and instead of gifts people brought poems celebrating pregnancy, birth and motherhood. It was really nice.
Are you in a large office? When we have showers here, you can choose to go or not go. There have been several times I have skippied showers because I didn't really know the person. I had office wedding and baby showers and the people I thought would come came and the ones I didn't think would come didn't. And I was surprised by some of the people who did come. Either way, people never keep tabs on who gave. But if you're in a smaller office, I can see the politics of it. I still think signs with no mention of gifts is the better way to go.
There's about 75 of us here and they keep tabs on who gives. They write names down and who gave and who didn't. They frown on people who choose not to participate, but I really don't care.
Sure. But showers are also a traditional part of the overall wedding experience, so the first-timer in the couple should experience that.
And honestly, I think that goes for baby showers, too. If the mom already has a child and is expecting a second child with her new husband, I don't have a problem with that at all. I attended a baby shower this past weekend and am going to another Sunday. Honestly, the husbands in both cases are the more excited ones. LOL
Tradition is one of those things that is going to be different in different geographies/socio-economic situations/religions... Many things can can seem appropriate to one group that is positively weird or offensive to another. One thing I don't think anyone can do is come up with one "right" universal etiquette. Seems to me as long as the group is operating with consideration for everyone, then the etiquette, whatever it is, is probably sound.
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