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I have three "normal" kids, who were easy to parent. Then, there was the "Spawn of Satan", he was the child that I bought all kinds of parenting books for, we went to family therapy, finally, my ex took him, and treated him like a criminal/boot camp recruit. It turned him around, but it was extreme, and not found in any pop psychology parenting book. I truly believe you need to experience having a child who is a sociopath, to understand how to parent one. BTW, my son is now in the military, doing very well...but he was on the path to prison or being dead.
So, that is my "experience", normal kids turn out okay, they make their own way, even with imperfect parents.
I have three "normal" kids, who were easy to parent. Then, there was the "Spawn of Satan", he was the child that I bought all kinds of parenting books for, we went to family therapy, finally, my ex took him, and treated him like a criminal/boot camp recruit. It turned him around, but it was extreme, and not found in any pop psychology parenting book. I truly believe you need to experience having a child who is a sociopath, to understand how to parent one. BTW, my son is now in the military, doing very well...but he was on the path to prison or being dead.
So, that is my "experience", normal kids turn out okay, they make their own way, even with imperfect parents.
just curious, at what age did the criminal/bootcamp treatment begin?
At age 15, after he stole a car, and started molesting his sisters friends (they were 11). He did crazy things up to that age, but his serious criminal activity started when he was 15. That was after 3 years of "parenting" classes, therapy, special school, none of it worked. But once we stopped treating him like a child, and treated him like the criminal he was, he started to respect us more, because he could not lie or manipulate his way out of things.
It was extreme, but he had been setting fires, hurting animals, stealing, and lying since he was 5! Normal kids, might steal once, get caught, get in trouble, and not do it again. A sociopath kid, will steal, get caught, and brazenly lie about why he stole, to "justify" the theft! At age 5! Punishment is completely meaningless to them. That is when you know, you are dealing with a kid who is wired completely different from the norm.
It also means that, believe it or not, there is no one size fits all to parenting, even among siblings. Ones parenting style must be adjusted for each kid at each stage and phase of their development. It is possible that one kid needs a more laid back approach to prosper and another may need tighter supervision and control. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander.
^^this!
From my own experience having two boys who were like day and night in personalities. While one was responsible and orderly growing up, he was also self absorbed and detached, the other was free spirited and irresponsible but...wears his heart on his sleeve, so to speak, thus, I had to handle parenting differently for each.
I have three "normal" kids, who were easy to parent. Then, there was the "Spawn of Satan", he was the child that I bought all kinds of parenting books for, we went to family therapy, finally, my ex took him, and treated him like a criminal/boot camp recruit. It turned him around, but it was extreme, and not found in any pop psychology parenting book. I truly believe you need to experience having a child who is a sociopath, to understand how to parent one. BTW, my son is now in the military, doing very well...but he was on the path to prison or being dead.
So, that is my "experience", normal kids turn out okay, they make their own way, even with imperfect parents.
I'm glad yours has a happy ending jasper...very encouraging to a lot of parents.
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