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Also you might want to chat with your son so that he recognizes when someone is actually laughing at him as opposed to laughing with him. Big difference.
I dont think so. If they are truly his good friends, they are probably laughing with him. As I mentioned, my best friend is Mexican. I bought his son a toy lawn mower for his birthday which he thought was really funny. He in turn bought me pipes for "bombs" as a gag on my birthday. Because we know that it doesnt bother us and that we both think its funny, we do stuff like that.
If they are truly his friends and they spend lots of time together, your son is probably in a similar situation.
There is nothing I detest more than real racism (people being overlooked because of the color or hatred based on color), but saying "haha black people like watermelon", or "haha, white people like cable sweaters and organic food", or "haha, Mexicans do yard work", etc. to me isnt offensive if you are in the company of friends who you know it doesnt bother. If you did that to random strangers, thats different.
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Ok I would be HORRIFIED as a parent if my kid did this, even if the joke was in fun and something they joke about in school etc...
If you know the parents very well, you might mention it to them. I would say don't know if you are aware...etc. Then end with my son was not offended but it made me uncomfortable etc...
I would also have a real heart to heart with your son, let him know where that "sterotype" comes from, google some old cartoon images etc... and let him know that you have made decision etc as to NOT further that type of thinking. And that you do not find it funny.
Also remember that they are 14 year old boys...they have a humor all of thier own.
Now on the flip side my daughter has some very good friends who are asian and on the tennis team with her, I was amazed at the "sterotypes" all thses kids "lobed" at each other. It made me uncomfortable, but everyone was laughing and it was usually the asian kids who started it etc...
So, hopefully the kids today are enough removed from the past that it isn't seen as harmful. ( I don't know)
Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 08-15-2011 at 01:17 PM..
Now on the flip side my daughter has some very good friends who are asian and on the tennis team with her, I was amazed at the "sterotypes" all thses kids "lobed" at each other. It made me uncomfortable, but everyone was laughing and it was usually the asian kids who started it etc...
So, hopefully the kids today are enough removed from the past that it isn't seen as harmful. ( I don't know)
The last sentence is probably the most accurate.
Back in California, you could hear the stereotypes in the mainstream media all the time and everyone thought it was funny. 106.7 KROQ in LA has the top rated morning show in the area. When Obama was elected, the morning DJ's (Kevin and Bean) made a rap song about Obama that said: "We drinkin grape drank up in the white house, we playin play station up in the white house, we eatin friend chicken up in the white house". People loved it an no controversy ensued.
Now take that same song and put it on the radio in Dallas and what do you get? My guess is a lot of controversy.
The reason why I dont think controversy happend in LA after that song and many others like it (I might add) is that we were further removed from those things.
Honestly, I'd leave it alone. As a teenager, race relations for him are a lot different than the ones you probably experienced -- especially if you're in a middle class suburb where most young people don't give one iota about the race of their friends. That's why stereotypes don't offend your son and his friends, because they're genuinely friends and have no prejudiced feelings toward each other. They don't feel like they have anything to fear from silly stereotypes, and that in itself should be more comforting than alarming, IMO. It sounds to me like they're good friends who know each other's sense of humor, and if you are worried about the stereotypes being played, you might also want to first talk with your own son who seems to be in on the joke. Either way, I'd leave it alone.
I think the kid crossed the line. It's one thing to joke about such things among a few friends and another to make such a public display such as a gift at a birthday party.
No, that station you mentioned was a hip-hop station, I'm going to assume with black DJs?
Blacks can make fun of themselves, and they get to decide when whites can/can not make fun of them.
That's how the politically correct culture goes.
You assume incorrectly. Its a rock station with White DJ's.
Ok I would be HORRIFIED as a parent if my kid did this, even if the joke was in fun and something they joke about in school etc...
If you know the parents very well, you might mention it to them. I would say don't know if you are aware...etc. Then end with my son was not offended but it made me uncomfortable etc...
I would also have a real heart to heart with your son, let him know where that "sterotype" comes from, google some old cartoon images etc... and let him know that you have made decision etc as to NOT further that type of thinking. And that you do not find it funny.
Also remember that they are 14 year old boys...they have a humor all of thier own.
Now on the flip side my daughter has some very good friends who are asian and on the tennis team with her, I was amazed at the "sterotypes" all thses kids "lobed" at each other. It made me uncomfortable, but everyone was laughing and it was usually the asian kids who started it etc...
So, hopefully the kids today are enough removed from the past that it isn't seen as harmful. ( I don't know)
Thanks for your input 5stones. We're in the same area and probably run in the same general circles.
You're on point. I hear a lot of kids joking about race, the Indian children, the Asian children, the Hispanic children the White and the Black children. I've never made a big deal about it because it's their way of communicating and opening dialogue with one another. Which is GREAT!!! It's important to talk to one another about differences as well as similarities. The fact is, for the most part, we are different physically, but culturally, when children grow up in the same area, especially Black and White children, there are VERY FEW cultural differences. I don't like watermelon - 3 of my 4 children do. I don't allow Kool-Aid in the house - too much sugar. We prefer Crystal Light. We do eat fried chicken but rarely, we prefer baked chicken. etc., etc.
I just think the young man stepped out of line with his gifts. I'm sure his parents knew about it because they dropped him off. This wasn't my son's birthday party - just happened to all be hanging out for a back to school party the same weekend of my son's birthday. The gifts were given in front of a handful of friends who all know each other very well and joke with each other about everything from being too short, failing a class, not reaching puberty yet and racial stereotypes.
My son is begging me to not say anything to his friends parents. I'm going to respect his wishes. However, I'm making sure my son knows that this kind of behavior isn't acceptable in our household. I would never allow him to give that kind of gift to a friend no matter how funny he/they may think it is. If they want to joke about their differences with their friends - then they can do so but I won't be a part of those kinds of jokes/pranks. Those same children have parents that may not take too kindly to such things and we all have to be mindful of other people's feelings when we choose a particular behavior or action. JMO
Some suggested that my son give his friend the book 'What White People Like". I won't allow that. I personally think things like that lack class and that's not how I raise my children. I don't mean that to offend those that made the suggestion. It's just not my cup of tea.
I appreciate the dialogue that has gone back and forth in response to my post (aside from the one troll). We can't be afraid to discuss race and we have to embrace our differences as well as our similarities. That's how we grow.
I think the kid crossed the line. It's one thing to joke about such things among a few friends and another to make such a public display such as a gift at a birthday party.
I agree, Lakewooder. I'm not going to say anything though. However, I can't help but think a little less of his parents as they knew what their son was doing and let him present these gifts to my son. Not smart parenting in my opinion.
If your son laughed then it's not offensive and the only thing you're doing is living in the past. Most people <30 are past the race issues you and your generation grew up with, so don't be offended when we're "insensitive" to it.
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I don't allow Kool-Aid in the house - too much sugar. We prefer Crystal Light. We do eat fried chicken but rarely, we prefer baked chicken. 
