U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-25-2011, 06:19 PM
 
Location: New England
1,169 posts, read 2,312,266 times
Reputation: 2183

Advertisements

Let me see if I can ask this the right way. I'm 46, got married when I was 27 and my wife was 25. We aren't going to be having any children. Those years flew by. Never gave it any thought in the early years of marriage. Just working and doing what we wanted to to.

As we got a little older, careers were the main focus. And the unconscious decision was in both our minds that we weren't going to have kids.

Career really took hold for my wife, and I wasn't sure I could handle such a BIG RESPONSIBILITY (and realize what I'm missing out on.) I hand it to those of you that have been successful at both. .

When I use to say something like, "I don't know if I can handle such a big responsibility", lots of people would say something like, "you'd be surprised at yourself once you have them."

So, did you surprise yourself?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-25-2011, 07:13 PM
 
Location: here
24,851 posts, read 33,432,363 times
Reputation: 32655
It has been much harder than I ever imagined. So, yes, I guess I have surprised myself, in a way. But, I take it as it comes, and do what I feel needs to be done. I haven't spent a lot of time reflecting on if it was expected or not. You just do it.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 5,044,393 times
Reputation: 2758
Yes, I surprised myself (and others who have known me for a long time). I am a lot more patient, loving, and selfless than I thought I was capable of. I think much of that is because I waited until I was older, became more mature, sowed my wild oats, established a career, etc.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 07:32 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,763,641 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
It has been much harder than I ever imagined. So, yes, I guess I have surprised myself, in a way. But, I take it as it comes, and do what I feel needs to be done. I haven't spent a lot of time reflecting on if it was expected or not. You just do it.
Me to.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 07:49 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 2,302,606 times
Reputation: 5503
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
Let me see if I can ask this the right way. I'm 46, got married when I was 27 and my wife was 25. We aren't going to be having any children. Those years flew by. Never gave it any thought in the early years of marriage. Just working and doing what we wanted to to.

As we got a little older, careers were the main focus. And the unconscious decision was in both our minds that we weren't going to have kids.

Career really took hold for my wife, and I wasn't sure I could handle such a BIG RESPONSIBILITY (and realize what I'm missing out on.) I hand it to those of you that have been successful at both. .

When I use to say something like, "I don't know if I can handle such a big responsibility", lots of people would say something like, "you'd be surprised at yourself once you have them."

So, did you surprise yourself?
Yes, I did. For the longest time, I never wanted kids and couldn't imagine having any. It was all about working, or having a good time. Everyone always assumed I'd have a house full of animals but no kids.

However, I found it surprisingly easy to switch gears into motherhood. I suppose I was ready for it, and I am glad I got a chance to enjoy my own life before I settled down to being a mom.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 08:05 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,964 posts, read 20,233,275 times
Reputation: 25750
Yes. I surprised myself.

I grew up an only child, spoiled princess. I really didn't expect to work this hard.

But taking care of a child, while continuing in your chosen career, taking care of a house . . volunteering at school . . is hard work.

But I'm very proud of how my son is turning out and thinking maybe all that hard work was worth it.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Rochester Hills, Mi
812 posts, read 1,788,959 times
Reputation: 418
The love and happiness I have from my kids is worth every bit of HARD that is thrown my way! My kids are really fun. When I gave birth and held them for the 1st time --I was overwhelmed at the emotions/feelings that took over me! You know how they say the Grinch's heart grew 3x's that day in the Christmas movie--that is how I felt.

Would I have been fine never having kids--sure. We had fun and were able to travel. There are days it is hard. I work part time, hubby works full time/overtime and travels out of town in spurts. BUT at the end of the day--that hug and kiss and unprompted I LOVE YOU MOMMY is worth every moment of frustration.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 09:10 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,525,554 times
Reputation: 1943
I surprise myself every day. I always thought being a parent would be like a walk in the park. I was wrong and it is the hardest job I ever had but it is the most pleasing, rewarding and loving!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
6,053 posts, read 9,864,965 times
Reputation: 8504
Smile Also surprised myself

Having poor vision and being blind in one eye, I never saw myself getting married or having children. I mean, I thought that's for normal people but I had to work so much to support others - just never saw it - did get married and ended up having 2 children (would have been 3 - lost one).

I would say while I wished I would have been a stay at home mom, I did work and try to balance and all that and I hope and pray that my children are always close and in my life b/c I love them more than I ever thought possible.

I am not exactly a maternal type - more business minded, more serious about things - but I guess those feelings did happen. I was shocked at how I felt.

Even if you do not have children, there are so many volunteer opportunities available to work with children.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2011, 11:20 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 11,411,076 times
Reputation: 4504
The only surprise was how intensely I could love a tiny human being. Everything else fell into place.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:47 PM.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top