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We don't have rules, we deal with stuff as it comes up. I'm trying to remember things that have come up! There really hasn't been much...
A couple years ago, I was *about* to firmly explain to my son's friend that we don't insult gay people, or use the word 'gay' as an insult, when my youngest stepped in and said, "Dude, that's SO wrong! Don't say that stuff here!"
Running in the house/up the stairs seems prevalent with the neighborhood boys, thus what I was talking about.
Hence my "You break it, you bought it" post.
Everyone who walked through my door knew there was no running in the house. No wrestling, no rough-housing, no baseball tossing, no "Boys Will Be Boys" attitude of "that's what they do".
Everyone knew to take all of that outside. (It helped that we lived where the weather was good.) My kids knew it from toddler-hood and they were the ones who told their friends. If a new friend started getting rough they were the ones who said, "Let's go outside. Mom doesn't want us fooling around in here." I also wasn't hesitate to use my Mean Mom voice and tell them to "Stop!". Consistency. They'll learn.
Anyways its something like: (And I will try to get it as verbatim as possible.)
Bedrooms:
-Dishes must be taken out same day they are taken in.
-No clothes on the floor.
-Towels are not to be left in the rooms.
-Bedrooms must be kept clean.
Shoes:
-Shoes are not to be left by the front door. They are to be left by the washer and dryer.
The dog:
-If you let the dog out, let him back in. Do not let him out if you are leaving the house.
Kitchen:
-Something, something clean up after yourself.
Bathroom:
-Keep trash off floor.
-Showers are to not be longer than 20 minutes. (If you are sick or something a longer shower or bath time must be approved.)
-Something something I don't remember.
Something about the SUV, which I don't drive, so I don't care to remember.
Work/School:
-If you are under 18 you must be going to school fulltime. If you are over 18 you need to work atleast 30 hours at one job or do part time school with a part time job.
Something about socializing:
-No guest over later than 10pm on weekdays and 11:30 on weekends. (I hate half hour crap, I don't know why, or like :15 or :45....what's the point why is everyone hating on the whole numbers.)
And OBVIOUSLY we're allowed sleepovers with the same gender. Hmmm, maybe I should have my brother befriend TG... *evilsmirk*
That's really all I took away from that section too.
It mostly affects my brother and really if I think about it, I doesn't affect me at all.
He has friends over I don't, he drives my mom's car I don't, he's a minor and has a curfew and I'm not and don't, he's in school and I'm not, I work and he doesn't.
I actually feel sorry for my brother, since he's the one getting cracked down really.
As long as I keep my room clean and if it's during the quiet hours from 10pm-6am and I come quietly, I am still free to do as I please.
I more than half expected to see a curfew for me as well and a no sleeping over at TG's house(or guys in general.) Really as long as my stuff stays clean nothing changes.
If I want to spend the night at TG's, I can.
If I want to stay out all night and come in quietly, I can.
My mom put down a list of punishments too:
-Loss of use of the satellite tv.
-Loss of use of internet.
-Loss of use of cellphone.
-Loss of use of car.
-No extra money given.
4/5 of those she can't even actually enforce upon me.
My car's in my name.
My cell phone is in my friends and my name.
I can use the internet on my phone to get online on my laptop.
And she can't take those things either, since she doesn't pay for them.
And I have my own money.
But as soon as I find the list I will post them all..
We have similar rules to some of the ones already posted here, and my kids generally do enforce them:
-Take your shoes off when you come in (except for special visits from some relatives or adults guests who dislike taking their shoes off)
-No food upstairs, and generally keep it in the kitchen
-Stay out of your parents room
-Flush the toilet and wash your hands after going to the bathroom (I can't always enforce this by barging in on neighbor kids, but I try to strongly encourage this!)
-If you are sick, you can't play with my kids. (I had an awkward situation when I did tell a neighbor he had a leave because he had a rash all over his torso that looked contagious).
-If you can't resolve an argument that is getting too loud, your friends must leave.
-If you are playing dress-up, limit the number of clothes you pull from the closet (I don't want a large pile of clothes that have been pulled on and off sweaty kids)
-The hardest rule for the neighbors is my "everyone is included" rule. Sometimes the neighbor kids are not nice to my youngest child and try to keep her out of rooms, scold her or exclude her. I don't like that. I tell them it is her house too, and they need to be nice to her and allow her to play if she wants (as long as she is not causing trouble). This sometimes changes if one of my kids is having a sleepover or a special visit from a school friend or something. Then I give that child time alone with those friends. However, on a general day with neighbor kids who are always playing, I don't expect one child to sit alone in a room while other kids are playing elsewhere in the house.
These are not the kind of rules I would post. They are ones I have just casually developed over time to deal with problems. For example, we have a lot of bugs and other pests in the area where I live, so we don't want crumbs upstairs etc. If we are going to have an ant invasion, I prefer to contain it in one room!
Anyways its something like: (And I will try to get it as verbatim as possible.)
Bedrooms:
-Dishes must be taken out same day they are taken in.
-No clothes on the floor.
-Towels are not to be left in the rooms.
-Bedrooms must be kept clean.
Shoes:
-Shoes are not to be left by the front door. They are to be left by the washer and dryer.
The dog:
-If you let the dog out, let him back in. Do not let him out if you are leaving the house.
Kitchen:
-Something, something clean up after yourself.
Bathroom:
-Keep trash off floor.
-Showers are to not be longer than 20 minutes. (If you are sick or something a longer shower or bath time must be approved.)
-Something something I don't remember.
Something about the SUV, which I don't drive, so I don't care to remember.
Work/School:
-If you are under 18 you must be going to school fulltime. If you are over 18 you need to work atleast 30 hours at one job or do part time school with a part time job.
Something about socializing:
-No guest over later than 10pm on weekdays and 11:30 on weekends. (I hate half hour crap, I don't know why, or like :15 or :45....what's the point why is everyone hating on the whole numbers.)
And OBVIOUSLY we're allowed sleepovers with the same gender. Hmmm, maybe I should have my brother befriend TG... *evilsmirk*
That's really all I took away from that section too.
It mostly affects my brother and really if I think about it, I doesn't affect me at all.
He has friends over I don't, he drives my mom's car I don't, he's a minor and has a curfew and I'm not and don't, he's in school and I'm not, I work and he doesn't.
I actually feel sorry for my brother, since he's the one getting cracked down really.
As long as I keep my room clean and if it's during the quiet hours from 10pm-6am and I come quietly, I am still free to do as I please.
I more than half expected to see a curfew for me as well and a no sleeping over at TG's house(or guys in general.) Really as long as my stuff stays clean nothing changes.
If I want to spend the night at TG's, I can.
If I want to stay out all night and come in quietly, I can.
My mom put down a list of punishments too:
-Loss of use of the satellite tv.
-Loss of use of internet.
-Loss of use of cellphone.
-Loss of use of car.
-No extra money given.
4/5 of those she can't even actually enforce upon me.
My car's in my name.
My cell phone is in my friends and my name.
I can use the internet on my phone to get online on my laptop.
And she can't take those things either, since she doesn't pay for them.
And I have my own money.
But as soon as I find the list I will post them all..
sounds more like a drill seargent than a mother.....
sounds more like a drill seargent than a mother.....
why have kids then???
I hope you're being sarcastic.
Based on what txtqueen has shared about her family, I think everything on her list makes sense. The only thing that seems strange is the preapproval for baths or longer showers, but even that makes sense when you consider textqueen and her brother fight about the bathroom. I specifically remember txtqueen having a major melt down because her brother was taking forever in the shower when she needed to take a shower to get ready for work. If I had that type of conflict between my children, I'd set a time limit rule too.
Based on what txtqueen has shared about her family, I think everything on her list makes sense. The only thing that seems strange is the preapproval for baths or longer showers, but even that makes sense when you consider textqueen and her brother fight about the bathroom. I specifically remember txtqueen having a major melt down because her brother was taking forever in the shower when she needed to take a shower to get ready for work. If I had that type of conflict between my children, I'd set a time limit rule too.
sounds more like a drill seargent than a mother.....
Seriously, nightcrawler?
Please tell us that's the old Nightcrawler sense of humor otherwise I'll have to tell you that you would have lasted 10 minutes in my house. And my DH and I were slackers compared to our own parents.
Some of the things on that list are common sense if you want to live in a house that isn't attracting bugs. Dirty dishes in the bedroom. Yech.
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