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It seems we parents are either "over involved hover parents" or not nearly involved enough. Can't have it two ways. I appreciate teachers who guide us on the level of involvement they want and expect and willingly cooperate. Communication is a two-way street. I have had many teachers who communicated absolutely nothing about my son's failures in classes until it was too late. Yet, I have written and talked to these same teachers, giving them my phone number and email addresses in order to facilitate easier and efficient communication. Some teachers have no time for PARENTS, it seems, not always just the other way around.
I am involved in my children's educations. However, I do not have the time nor the desire to go over numbers standardized testing or any other such things.
I'm concerned whether or not they are learning and absorbing the material. I do think there is such a thing as being over involved.
I'm not suggesting that all parents should do what I do, but I find that understanding what those tests mean is essential for prioritizing how to help my children get the most out of their educational experience. I do not expect my kid's fourth grade teacher, who must manage the needs of two dozen students, to spend an hour with my child at the library helping him choose interesting books in his Lexile or ATOS range. She simply doesn't have the time, so he ends up reading what every other kid reads, which may or may not be a good choice for him. She doesn't even have the time to review his Daybook to see that his latest journal entry indicates he doesn't understand the difference between first and third person. She is not a bad teacher, but the demands of a modern classroom filled with kids of varying abilities and levels of motivation makes it incredibly difficult to provide the individual support he needs in these areas.
Education, and life in general, is incredibly complex today. Both adults and children are overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of resources available to them, and children, in particular, desperately need someone to help them discern what is worthwhile. This is especially important when a current trend in education is project-based learning focused on children's individual interests, which I can only imagine makes it very challenging to evaluate whether or not students are meeting the appropriate benchmarks. If I have the energy and time to provide this type of support to my child, I can't see how that's a bad thing.
All that said, it's very obvious from my recent experience at school and the conversation in this thread, both teachers and parents are uncomfortable with the collaborative efforts that I believe are required by the shifting paradigm.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 09-10-2011 at 02:02 PM..
You have NO IDEA! They were abusive, not merely overly strict. Abuse isn't restricted to beating and neglecting. Isolating children is typical of most abusers. Isolation is the biggest red flag because it's the most common denominator in almost all forms of abuse. As a matter of fact, I know two children whose parents were court ordered via CYS to allow their children daily time outside of the house when not in school or working. Keeping a child a prisoner isn't merely strict. And it's sad that only bruises and dirty clothes are considered signs of abuse from professionals who are mandated to report abuse. There are many well groomed, bruiseless abuse victims out there with other signs of abuse that are too easily overlooked.
It's deeply disturbing to me that you cherry picked a post about abuse in order to change it's meaning and tone.
I repeatedly stated "based on what YOU said" and I also mentioned verbal and emotional abuse in my post. It's sad that your need to be "right" over comes the importance of being rational on such an important subject.
I will also state as someone with professional training on recognizing the signs of child abuse that literally nothing you stated in the first post or even the second would be grounds for a teacher to contact child protective services EXCEPT the parents pushing the child out of the house.
It's deeply disturbing to me that you cherry picked a post about abuse in order to change it's meaning and tone.
I repeatedly stated "based on what YOU said" and I also mentioned verbal and emotional abuse in my post. It's sad that your need to be "right" over comes the importance of being rational on such an important subject.
I will also state as someone with professional training on recognizing the signs of child abuse that literally nothing you stated in the first post or even the second would be grounds for a teacher to contact child protective services EXCEPT the parents pushing the child out of the house.
I never said that you should have reported the abuse. I was merely enlightening you that what appears to be hovering could sometimes be abuse. You're the one who got all defensive instead of having an open mind and learning about something you never considered a possibility.
They didn't suddenly become abusive the day they kicked him out of the house. Their using the grade book against him was abusive because it wasn't his fault his teachers didn't update their grades. The very fact he spent almost an entire year inside his house was abuse itself.
Once teachers learned that that his parents were using their slowness to record grades as reason to hold him permanent hostage, they made sure they entered the grades before the weekend. The teachers AND the administration were very involved in trying to help him after they finally realized what was happening to him.
But he endured years of abuse before they knew because he didn't have the courage to speak up until he was older.
I'm not suggesting that all parents should do what I do, but I find that understanding what those tests mean is essential for prioritizing how to help my children get the most out of their educational experience. I do not expect my kid's fourth grade teacher, who must manage the needs of two dozen students, to spend an hour with my child at the library helping him choose interesting books in his Lexile or ATOS range. She simply doesn't have the time, so he ends up reading what every other kid reads, which may or may not be a good choice for him. She doesn't even have the time to review his Daybook to see that his latest journal entry indicates he doesn't understand the difference between first and third person. She is not a bad teacher, but the demands of a modern classroom filled with kids of varying abilities and levels of motivation makes it incredibly difficult to provide the individual support he needs in these areas.
Education, and life in general, is incredibly complex today. Both adults and children are overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of resources available to them, and children, in particular, desperately need someone to help them discern what is worthwhile. This is especially important when a current trend in education is project-based learning focused on children's individual interests, which I can only imagine makes it very challenging to evaluate whether or not students are meeting the appropriate benchmarks. If I have the energy and time to provide this type of support to my child, I can't see how that's a bad thing.
All that said, it's very obvious from my recent experience at school and the conversation in this thread, both teachers and parents are uncomfortable with the collaborative efforts that I believe are required by the shifting paradigm.
I don't choose books for my son based on ATOS, Lexile or anything else. HE chooses them based on what HE wants to read about. Some weeks it will be learning about trains, others it will be a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, other times he gets books about history. He does very well in school.
I don't think it's challenging to see if a child is learning or not. I also don't see how it is all that challenging for an educator to make sure child is meeting benchmarks.
I don't choose books for my son based on ATOS, Lexile or anything else. HE chooses them based on what HE wants to read about. Some weeks it will be learning about trains, others it will be a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, other times he gets books about history. He does very well in school.
I don't think it's challenging to see if a child is learning or not. I also don't see how it is all that challenging for an educator to make sure child is meeting benchmarks.
I got the impression that you believe my interest in and use of testing information to collaborate with my children's teachers is a bad thing. Was I wrong?
edit: On second thought, never mind. As I wrote in one of my first posts to this thread, it doesn't matter what you do, somebody will always find fault with it.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 09-10-2011 at 03:30 PM..
I did have to email one of his professors once though. He failed my son when he had a 4.0. The reason was because my son's name had been changed during the term. When he saw the new name on his grade roster, he thought, "I don't have any grades for that kid" and failed him. It was an easy fix.
Yeah. If I were a college student, I would have dealt with that myself. My parents never had to fight my battles in college.
I didn't get that either. A college student was unable to address this and have it fixed?
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