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Old 09-08-2011, 02:28 PM
 
574 posts, read 1,022,699 times
Reputation: 443

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My son likes a girl one year younger than him but her father does not want her to see him. They both got in some serious trouble this weekend and I do not blame the father at all. My kid said she will sneak to see him anyway. He is 18 and going to a different school. I feel this is very disrespectful to the father and if my son really cared about the girl and the trouble she eventually will get in, would stop seeing her. Other than voicing my opinion...what should I do?
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,205 posts, read 1,591,170 times
Reputation: 1228
You gave your son the right advice. He needs to respect the fact that for whatever reason the girl's father does not want his daughter to see him. Get your sons head in the game and help him to concentrate on school because there will be plenty of time to deal with the opposite sex later.
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,279 posts, read 4,594,857 times
Reputation: 1223
Explain the law- at 18 he is legally an adult, and at 17 she is a minor. It's not just disrespectful, it could also have serious repercussions on him.
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:11 PM
 
574 posts, read 1,022,699 times
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Thank you. He's has had plenty of time to deal with the opposite sex already. He is a Freshman in college. He claims he is going to write a letter to her father.....we'll see about that one. I told him I will not allow her to step foot in this house nor will I knowingly allow him to use the car to see her. He claims she is a "good girl" and a virgin. Then why would she see him behind her father's back? Never thought my son would be the "bad boy" girls go after.
I have one more dilema I am dealing with. We bought him a car last year and he was suppose to pay for anything it needed as well as a portion of what I pay for insurance ($48). This has rarely happened. In fact I took the car away from him do to drug use and having his license suspended for driving past curfew for over four months this year. We have two other cars so I am considering selling his car and he can just use mine to go to college nearby or we will take him. He will be starting a job as soon as the manager makes a new schedule and he is a full time college student. What would you do?

Last edited by bbekity; 09-08-2011 at 04:42 PM..
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 3,101,731 times
Reputation: 1722
He should ask the father if he can take the girl out.
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Old 09-08-2011, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Northern California
970 posts, read 2,129,846 times
Reputation: 1400
The Girl: You gave him good advice, now it's up to him to put it to use (or not follow it). He is 18 and should be making his own relationship decisions and mistakes.

The car: Sell his car and make him take a bus or pay for his own car. Don't sell his car and just let him use yours.
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Old 09-08-2011, 11:14 PM
 
13 posts, read 9,851 times
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When will the girl be 18? As for the car, I understand, I'm having the same issues with my 18 year old daughter. You feel responsible for their college career and know they need it but yet you want them to start taking responsibility. It's a tough one for sure. No car makes your life harder. Things are hard right now but the kids these days seem so sensitive as well. I don't know what to do about that one either, you don't want a college drop out on your couch but yet you don't want to give them a free car. I'm beginning to think at this age they will do what they want regardless of us and we should just try and make ourselves happy for once.
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:34 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 5,397,132 times
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The two issues are unrelated in my mind. You had a deal on what he needed to do in order to keep the car. He hasn't done it. Therefore, take the car back. IF he wants a car that badly, he can work and pay for one. Explain to him that you're sorry but finances are tight and you need the money. Many (if not most) college students make do without a car. Teaching him he'll have to work to attain what he wants is a far more important lesson than giving him a car out of convenience.

This girl is underage and he's 18. There could be serious repercussions. I would counsel your son that he needs to respect her father's wishes while she's underage.
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:50 AM
 
1,812 posts, read 3,225,396 times
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have the 2 teens and their parents all meet and get to know each other maybe offer to have dinner and invite them. talk about this so the children do not get into trouble or disrespect thier parents.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:47 AM
 
574 posts, read 1,022,699 times
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He took my car out last night...didn't even ask...just said I'm going out minutes before he left. After he came home I checked my car and it smelled of smoke. It's like he just doesn't think or care about my wished. He know no one is allowed to smoke in my car...it was weed before but this was cigarettes. Opened all the windows to air out my car...can't wait till he gets up.
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