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I want attention all the time because I spend a lot of time alone.
I go to work, have brief conversations with customers, nothing deep and meaningful and I come home, I have no one to eat dinner with and then I just sit in my room and watch tv because everyone else is in their rooms.
And I live positive affirmation because I never hear "thank you", "good job", "I love you". I don't hear it. I don't get praised for anything I do good. Of course I am seeking it out other places.
I feel like I'm getting trolled right now.
Honestly I would love for my mom to do anything with me. Eat dinner with me, get a cup of coffee with me, anything at all. I want my mom or a mom figure in my life, I obviously need it to even myself out.
OMFG, that was for a few years that I did those pagents.
I put up with it for years.
I was shy, I had stage fright, I would go up on stage and completely make a fool out of myself because all I could manage to do was stand there and wave awkwardly because I hated being up on stage in front of all those people.
I wasn't rotten ungrateful and miserable. I just wanted to be a kid, I just wanted to have fun.
And all those pagent moms are wonderful mothers and if those little girls don't like it, how terrible of them.
But I am going to bed now, I am tired....tired doesn't cut it, I am exhausted, I have no more left inside of me tonight. I have a headache. BF weekend has been hard and I have Monday and Tuesday off and I am going to recooperate.
Txt, no...you don't want a "mom or a mom figure" in your life honey. Moms? Mom figures? those people tell you what you need to hear, maybe not what you want to hear. They can't tolerate constant whining, WILL tell you when you're screwing up, WILL redirect the blame to where it belongs, WILL call BS on you when necessary, WILL hold you accountable, WILL not stand by and let you blame others for your own mistakes, and can not replace your mother.
You....YOU need to fix what you broke between your mother and you. It's sad...how kids push their parents away and like the old saying goes, "you don't know what you've got til it's gone". You could have a relationship with your mother. The problem is, you have so many "limitations/restrictions" on what you'll talk with her about, what she's allowed to ask you about, what she can comment on, what her opinions can be. No, txt you don't want a mom figure. Honey, as usual, you want a robotic mom figure....a fantasy, whom YOU can dictate what she can talk about, when she can talk about it, etc. I shudder to think of the type of mom figure that would fit your bill, cuz she ain't no fit parent, I'll tell you that much.
Incidentally, one of the things you said about your mom, is that she wasn't excited about your security job. TXT you don't stick with ANYthing!! OMG! Do you know what that does to a parent? Their kid gets job after job...oh so excited, got a job!! The next thing you know they're whining, complaining, maybe finding reasons to skip work, next thing you know, there's some lame a$$ excuse why you're going to look for something else...or just flat out quit, because you can't take it anymore. YOU and your poor, poor work history is why she can NOT get excited about it. Every time she does, it's another let down. Txt...stop it! It's YOU. You need to get some serious counselling and help. These delusions of persecution and your self-destructive behavior....txt, they're going to destroy you. Get help.
txt, your relationship with your mom is obviously toxic. Why that is, none of us here will ever fully understand. As we've said many, many times, you can't change her, only yourself. You may have a totally legitimate reason for being angry with her on some points. Having to follow her rules while you live in her house for free is not one of those points. I haven't had to parent teens yet. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who was once a 20-something living with my parents. You seem to have a lot of freedom, to me. You come and go as you please, do you not? If your only complaint is that you can't have TG over, and you have to be quiet in the middle of the night, you need to get over it. Seriously. These are not over-the-top rules. That's called living with mom. Your assertion that you are being forced to live like a teenager is over the top. That is what is p'ing us all off.
Before you respond, I was going to school full time and working the whole time I lived at home, which was on and off until I graduated from college. Never ever once did I think I should be able to have my BF spend the night. Not then. Not now. Not ever.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 11-28-2011 at 04:27 AM..
Reason: typo
Great video, Zim. We watched wrestling on TV when I was a kid. Wrestling and Roller Derby. Both were as hokey as they come but great fun to watch.
Ha! I love Roller Derby! One of my girlfriends is a derby girl out in Seattle - I know it's different than it used to be, but they still kick arse, IMO. I harbor a secret fantasy of being a derby girl (if only I were 10 years younger!!).
Okay, this chat thread has become overrun with one person's personal issues and the surrounding conversation about it. Most of it should go in Work & Employment, Renting, or Relationships, or better yet, in a blog. There is more than enough content for several threads. I feel that few people are given the opportunity to speak, because if they do, the conversation is swallowed back up by one person's drama.
Txtqueen, let me know if you need help setting up a blog; otherwise please move topics of conversation to the appropriate forum or write to people over DM. Thanks.
Incidentally, I remember when The Pixies were edgy and all alterna-teen. Last night I heard a musak version of this song being used to hawk some tech product. I feel old. Not as old as I am going to feel when some pharm company decides they really need this song to market their new dementia med, though...
I totally agree Ewag and Zim. When Michael Jackson bought the Beatles catalog he sold the classics for commercials. "Revolution" to sell shoes.
I'm making a face like I'm sucking on lemons.
I'm with you!
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I'm with you!