Neglectful teenage parents! What to do?

[keeperk]

Thanks HIF, makes the most sense and I'm along those lines too.
Don't want to make a bad situation worse.
Brokencrayola, my daughter does not live with me. She is not abusive, just neglectful, thus the reason why I took over with the baby.
I remember a person told me if I don't know what to do, don't do anything.
Think I'll just keep along those lines for now.
Thanks all.

[grandma2B]

Originally Posted by HIF

I have been raising my 10YO grand daughter since she was one. It was, to put it nicely, an informal arrangement until I was moving and my gdaughter was about to start school. By then her mother was out of state and my son was rarely present in her life.

I would not call child protective services because I didn't want to risk her being put in the horrendous foster care system here in FL. I did not want to file for custoday because I was afraid it would push the mother to petition for custody- and the mother- to this day- has a revolving door of men in her apartment. My son was less of an option.

In FL we have something called temporary custody by a relative. I could do it myself- just went to the family court at the courthouse and they gave me the form. I could, but did not request child support because I didn't want that to be a reason for them to fight it.

At the last minute the mom flew in with an attorney, even though she told me that she was not getting one. The judge granted the order and now, six years later, I still have temporary custody.

It is so selfish of them and kills me that they pop in and out of her life. I do not make excuses. When she asks why, I tell her that I don't know. That I know that they love her, but they just don't know how to be good parents. Sometimes when asked, I just tell her that they love her the best that they can.

For a few years I took her out to see her mom each summer, but I no longer have the resources (lost my husband) and the mom doesn't even send a birthday or Christmas card to her. My daughter now has a cell phone (we had a predator in our neighborhood another long story), so she can call her mom any time and her mom can do the same.

My gdaughter and I have had longer talks now that she is getting older. Her mom popped out another one two years ago. That bothered my gdaughter- why can she keep her, but not me? But I told her that this is her home, this is where she belongs because is the best place for her to be. And that her mom can come here any time to visit.

The hardest thing was to keep from saying negative things about them to her or in front of her. I have no respect for them and it is so unfair. I know it tears your heart out when your daughter is there and then gone.

BUT- I have to tell you that my daughter (which I call her) is the most smart and kind person. Very well adjusted. I know she will have scars, but don't we all? My biggest fear is that she will seek male attention in inappropraite ways. My son is getting better- sees her a couple times a month, but I've seen lots of wild teen girls who never had a decent father in their lives. So far, so good. We're all just doing the best that we can.

Good luck to you-

Does anyone know if a fifteen yr. old mother has the right to keep her baby legally?

[steelstress]

Why the indecision? It's clear. GO SEE A LAWYER so you know what your options are. THEN make a plan of action.

JUST GO SEE A LAWYER.