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Old 09-20-2011, 03:53 PM
 
12,644 posts, read 19,359,960 times
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Found this interesting.

Quote:
Don't Kid Yourself -- You May Be Raising the Bully

So how do you know if your kid is a bully? Shouldn't we just let kids work things out on their own?

No, no, no says Dr. Michael Osit, a licensed psychologist and author of Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids in an Age of Instant Everything. "If parents are aware of the bullying and don't do anything, they are as guilty as their child who is bullying.
Don't Kid Yourself -- You May Be Raising the Bully | The Stir

Last edited by JustJulia; 09-20-2011 at 05:19 PM.. Reason: Quote just a few sentences, not lengthy passages, please
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Old 09-20-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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I think there are many, many shades of gray on the letting them handle it themselves/bullying scale. I do think many things should be handled by children. Conflict isn't necessarily bullying.
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I think there are many, many shades of gray on the letting them handle it themselves/bullying scale. I do think many things should be handled by children. Conflict isn't necessarily bullying.
Yes conflict should be handled by kids as much as possible. But, Bullying is not Conflict it is Bullying the two do not intertwine.
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Miborn View Post
Yes conflict should be handled by kids as much as possible. But, Bullying is not Conflict it is Bullying the two do not intertwine.
I think they are two points on the spectrum of dissension.
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Old 09-20-2011, 09:21 PM
 
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From experience of raising a special needs child, the people raising bullies are generally bullies themselves...
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Old 09-20-2011, 11:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miborn View Post
Yes conflict should be handled by kids as much as possible. But, Bullying is not Conflict it is Bullying the two do not intertwine.
I agree...BIG diff between conflict and bullying
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Old 09-21-2011, 05:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jojo61397 View Post
From experience of raising a special needs child, the people raising bullies are generally bullies themselves...
I absolutely agree.

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Old 09-21-2011, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
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Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I think they are two points on the spectrum of dissension.
There's as much difference between dissent and bullying as there is between lousy sex and rape.
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo61397 View Post
From experience of raising a special needs child, the people raising bullies are generally bullies themselves...
Some of these people don't realize they are bullies or that there is anything wrong with their behavior so they don't see the need to get their kids to stop acting like that.

And there are some kids who are bullies who are being parented by bullies.

The problem is that sooooooo many parents think their kids are perfect wonderful little specimens capable of no wrong doing and are always so quick to point the fingers at others and make excuses for their own children that it's easy for their children to become bullies.

Parents need to stop being so oblivious, you are doing a great disservice to your children by acting as if they are perfectm they are not, no one is. It's more loving to notice their imperfections, love them any way and help them grow to be better people.
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Old 09-21-2011, 04:40 PM
 
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Hmmm. I'm going to go out on a limb here. My 4.5yr old is somewhat naturally inclined toward bullying. Yes, he's only 4.5 so a lot of his behavior "should" improve with age. But right now he's the "alpha dog" in the room. He'd like your kids' toys, he'd like to boss them around, he might push or shove your kid, and he'd like to be their friend...he just doesn't know how.

Now, as his parent we discipline consistently and do our best to try to teach him . We're tough parents and have a very well behaved older child. My husband and I are laid back creative types, not bullies.

You know what would make him behave? If he wasn't always the toughest kid in the room! No one pushes back, no one tells him to buzz off, all they do is whine and tattle. The influence of parents only goes so far, I can't be with him every day at school on the playground, kids need to learn some social consequences for their actions.

The problem of bullying has gotten worse as the majority of kids have become wimps. One well-placed shove and my "wanna be a bully" would be back in line. Please somebody shove him
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