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I've been pondering this. It takes a certain amount of money to be a snowbird. (Unless you are living in a trailer in some place like Quartzite.) Maybe the sense of entitlement stems more from wealth than age? I honestly don't know.
But I'll be on the lookout for pushy seniors. (The average age of one town near me is 62. I have a lot of opportunities. ) I've been on the lookout for small kids misbehaving in restaurants for some time now so I'll be busy.
Perhaps it's a combination? Wealth AND age! By golly, they've lived long enough and have enough money to afford to be rude. After all, it's not as if they might have to ask you for a job.
When I visit my relatives in the Midwest I feel like I am back in the 50's. (I feel like I go back in time to my own childhood.) Everyone in town knows each other. People still worry about their reputations when they go out in public. No one is anonymous. And no one wants to become the source of gossip...Life is completely different in larger cities. We might know a few people but we are surrounded by a lot of strangers too. Everyone doesn't feel "bonded" to each other..."Road rage" is common because drivers don't "give a hoot" about the people beside them on the road. And they feel anonymous...When I go shopping or eat in restaurants I only run into people that I know once in awhile. I may be a familiar face to a few store clerks or food servers but they don't know me personally. But I was raised back in the 50's and my parents taught me to be on my "best behavior" when I go out in public so I won't "bother" others..I don't want store clerks or food servers to "cringe" or roll their eyes when they see me walk in and label me a "problem customer."....I worked as a food server when I was younger and some people got labeled "troublemakers" because they could be so picky or demanding. And parents who let their kids "act up" and "call the shots" were called the "family from hell" etc. Food servers and store clerks "gossip" in the back rooms and express their feelings and frustations to each other when it comes to "problem customers." So it still goes on in big cities too in a different form...The employees of stores and restaurants form a "bond" and operate like a "family" or small community and "watch out" for each other the best they can.
As a child, you can't possibly be so tired that you have to lie all over the floor in a store. It's just plain ugly. Kids won't die if they're taught a minimum of self-restraint.
Right. A minimum of self restraint. I guess he never learned that at age 2. And heavens, we thought the floor was clean! (I think it's time for me to practice my self restraint.)
I want to add to the kids crying in the store and Mom "giving in". I almost forgot about this one. I was out with DD when she was 2 and she was really sad about a family thing going on. I told her she could pick out popsicles when we got to the store. She started crying about the family issue right before we started picking out the popsicles. Right after she picked them out (I was using my sympathetic voice while helping her decide), a woman said "do you really think rewarding her is going to make these tantrums stop?" She wasn't having a tantrum. She wasn't even crying loudly. It was a silent cry because she was so sad.
I guess the moral of the story is that you really don't know what is going on from a small glimpse into someone's life. What may look like a child crying because she didn't get her way may be something else all together.
I guess the moral of the story is that you really don't know what is going on from a small glimpse into someone's life. What may look like a child crying because she didn't get her way may be something else all together.
I want to add to the kids crying in the store and Mom "giving in". I almost forgot about this one. I was out with DD when she was 2 and she was really sad about a family thing going on. I told her she could pick out popsicles when we got to the store. She started crying about the family issue right before we started picking out the popsicles. Right after she picked them out (I was using my sympathetic voice while helping her decide), a woman said "do you really think rewarding her is going to make these tantrums stop?" She wasn't having a tantrum. She wasn't even crying loudly. It was a silent cry because she was so sad.
I would have wanted to say the same thing but I would not have been able to plunk up the courage to actually say it - like she did; so I would have cowardly minded my own business even though I would have thought exactly what she thought.
As a child, you can't possibly be so tired that you have to lie all over the floor in a store. It's just plain ugly.
Kids won't die if they're taught a minimum of self-restraint.
However, unlike people from older generations, I am painfully aware of the touchiness and defensiveness of contemporary parents, including the ideologies that drove them to believe that there are no standards of decent behavior out there except whatever THEY come up with for their own child.
Besides, given how aggressive and self-absorbed so many people are today, you might even get yourself beaten if you don't learn to keep your mouth shut. Older women may get away with expressing their opinions ("what do they know... they're so outdated, even senile maybe) but those of us who are young but think like the old - may not.
So learned my lesson, shut my mouth.
I'm just curious, what would your response be if a stranger admonished your parenting whilst you were out in public?
My son had a sensory integration disorder. It becomes exhausting as a parent until you understand your child's condition and view from his/her world. I did the best I could when I could - there were days I was exhausted like the poster and "gave in." So what? Life goes on. Continually being inconsistent, ignoring misbehavior - that results in a brat - the rest of us are doing the best we can as mere mortals.
My son at 9 is a mild, gentle, considerate and thoughtful boy. I always remember what a friend of mine said to him during one of his meltdowns, "I knew a little boy like you" referring to the meltdowns her son had at that age. I use that line often.
My parents only spanked me one time in my whole life. (When I was around 2 or so.) It's weird because I can still remember part of the "scene" and I'm pretty old today!...We were in church at the time and I was fascinated with a lady's colorful silk blouse. (From the back. The lady sat in front of us.) My parents asked me to stop touching and "fingering" the lady's blouse but I kept doing it...My Dad took me outside right before the end of the service and I got lectured and spanked when I got home...I wasn't a "perfect child" after that but I did take my parent's commands seriously...I didn't want to be lectured or spanked again! I was still a curious child and I felt free to ask questions and voice my feelings in respectful ways. But I knew that it wasn't wise to "cause a scene" in public or violate other people's boundaries etc. This was all a big "no-no!"
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I honestly don't know.
) I've been on the lookout for small kids misbehaving in restaurants for some time now so I'll be busy.
