Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have not degraded SAHM's. All I've said is they do the same job that WM's do. WM or SAH makes no difference WRT how our kids turn out. This is, and always has been, a financial decision. For some reason, saying that SAH is the equivalent of WM (finances aside) is offensive to many here. Apparently, SAH must be better to be a valid choice in their minds.
I'm refering to the financial loss involved in teaching. I had no right to ask my family to take it. Working summers doesn't quite correct that so I'm going back into engineering.
You've called being a SAHM a "vacation." You've said there is nothing important to do at home all day (one might argue hanging out with your kid is important). you said staying home is selfish. You said a SAHM could be replaced by a housekeeper and a good day care provider. You said all kinds of things that were insulting. If you don't realize that, you are completely socially inept.
ETA of course you have the "right" to take whatever job you want to do. If you like teaching, and you like the schedule, and you like that your daughter can go to a better school, then you absolutely have the "right" to do that job. What kind of alternate universe do you live in that you don't get to choose your own job?
Ah, the old go to extremes tactic....didn't see that one coming...
I never said SES was EVERYTHING. It is, however, something. In most cases it matters. Even among the wealthy it matters. Things would be worse without it.
Well....you said quantity of time does not matter once you reach a certain point (there is either enough or there isn't, any more isn't beneficial), you said working or staying at home does not matter ...at all; you've said the mother herself doesn't really matter (in how kids turn out). The only thing you'll say, is that money matters. So yeah, pretty much what you said is that SES is the most important thing in raising kids. Most of us just tend to disagree.
And I continue to find it fascinating that again and again you'll discount everyone's personal experiences as irrelevant, yet you feel very free to use your own to support or discount your beliefs. That is why it has turned into being about you. You've not let it be about anyone else and then you complain when it's about you....You can't have it both ways.
Last edited by maciesmom; 10-18-2011 at 10:01 PM..
My daughters are educated, respectable adults who have healthy family lives, passions that they pursue, and the ability to create some semblance of the reality they wish to live. Moreover, they are people with whom I would happily spend time even if I weren't related to them-- and they give every indication of feeling the same way. And neither lives in my basement. So..y'know...it's pretty good. I'll call their upbringing a success, overall.
Sounds like you've had the same kind of success with your DDs that I've had with mine. They're also grown and out of the house (in their early/mid 20's). Both are working at jobs they love. One has finished her masters and the other is starting hers. They have wonderful friends, pay their own bills and are enjoying their lives.
I was sad when the day to day hands on parenting came to an end. But, I have to admit I LOVE the relationships I have with my adult daughters. There's something so special when you realize they are seeking out your company and counsel instead of just tolerating it!
Ah, ignored again. Sigh. This must be about the 5th or 6th time. I wonder what type of scientist ignores questions rather than addresses them with evidence?
I have not degraded SAHM's. All I've said is they do the same job that WM's do. WM or SAH makes no difference WRT how our kids turn out. This is, and always has been, a financial decision. For some reason, saying that SAH is the equivalent of WM (finances aside) is offensive to many here. Apparently, SAH must be better to be a valid choice in their minds.
I'm refering to the financial loss involved in teaching. I had no right to ask my family to take it. Working summers doesn't quite correct that so I'm going back into engineering.
Wait....I thought you went into teaching so your DD daughter could attend a better school? I assume you did so because you and DH believed it would make a difference to your daughter's development and thought the new school would provide her with the best opportunity to become a happy, responsible adult.
I hope after you made that decision, you explained to your kids why you and DH thought it best for you to forgo a higher income in order to allow DD to attend a better school. And that you discussed the upsides and downsides of the decision and how it would effect each family member. Kids like to know the WHY of things. It makes them feel secure knowing you are doing certain things because you believe they are in the best interest of your family and because you love them.
Unless you're rating your parenting solely on the amount of money you bring in each month, your statement above makes no sense. Making less money in hopes of improving things for your child is not a selfish act. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite.
Sounds like you've had the same kind of success with your DDs that I've had with mine. They're also grown and out of the house (in their early/mid 20's). Both are working at jobs they love. One has finished her masters and the other is starting hers. They have wonderful friends, pay their own bills and are enjoying their lives.
I was sad when the day to day hands on parenting came to an end. But, I have to admit I LOVE the relationships I have with my adult daughters. There's something so special when you realize they are seeking out your company and counsel instead of just tolerating it!
I can't rep you again, it seems, but congratulations, and well done. You nailed it EXACTLY.
I agree! Well said. Isn't that an amazing feeling!? Sigh...that's what it's all about.
Yes, the moment when you think, "OMG I didn't screw them up" and you realise they're going to be just fine and be contributing members to society is pretty overwhelming.
You've called being a SAHM a "vacation." You've said there is nothing important to do at home all day (one might argue hanging out with your kid is important). you said staying home is selfish. You said a SAHM could be replaced by a housekeeper and a good day care provider. You said all kinds of things that were insulting. If you don't realize that, you are completely socially inept.
ETA of course you have the "right" to take whatever job you want to do. If you like teaching, and you like the schedule, and you like that your daughter can go to a better school, then you absolutely have the "right" to do that job. What kind of alternate universe do you live in that you don't get to choose your own job?
That's because SAHM's do every day what WM's do on their days off. And, yes, we call them vacation days. Anything is easier if you don't have to do it after working all day.
Quit twisting what I've said. I've said that SAHM's don't accomplish anything that WM's don't accomplish. All moms do things that are important at home. It just doesn't matter whether mom does them while working or while not working. As I've said, people get their panties in a wad because it makes no difference whether you SAH or not. For some reason, saying WM's accomplish the same things SAHM's do is upsetting to some.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You've called being a SAHM a "vacation." You've said there is nothing important to do at home all day (one might argue hanging out with your kid is important). you said staying home is selfish. You said a SAHM could be replaced by a housekeeper and a good day care provider. You said all kinds of things that were insulting. If you don't realize that, you are completely socially inept.
