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We did get an allowance and we learned to save up for what we wanted to do each weekend.
For example, (we were given $5 a week for allowance, that we EARNED from weekly chores),
Just wanted to add my $.02 here.
My daughter has chores to do regardless of allowance. In my family, chores are just part of being in the family, and the idea that you can choose to not walk the dog as long as you do not take your allowance is a false choice. Somethings need to get done just because they have to and not to earn money. I knew kids who choose to do NO chores as teenagers and took NO money. That is sending the wrong message IMO.
Additionally, since she was about 15 I just gave her $30 a week allowance. It was her's just because she is a member of the family and had expenses. This had to cover her minor entertainment expenses (movies, etc), incidentals (gum, lip gloss, etc) as well as lunches. I, personally, feel it is a much better budgeting tool to learn to decide between buying lunch (convenient) and bringing your lunch (cheaper).
On the jobs issue, I think all teenagers should hold a job at some point, even if it's only in the summer. I think that's just as important to becoming a well-rounded adult as is school or other activities. I think kids can grow up to be fine adults without that experience, but I think parents who do not "allow" their kids to work are unnecessarily holding them back.
My daughter has chores to do regardless of allowance. In my family, chores are just part of being in the family, and the idea that you can choose to not walk the dog as long as you do not take your allowance is a false choice. Somethings need to get done just because they have to and not to earn money. I knew kids who choose to do NO chores as teenagers and took NO money. That is sending the wrong message IMO.
Additionally, since she was about 15 I just gave her $30 a week allowance. It was her's just because she is a member of the family and had expenses. This had to cover her minor entertainment expenses (movies, etc), incidentals (gum, lip gloss, etc) as well as lunches. I, personally, feel it is a much better budgeting tool to learn to decide between buying lunch (convenient) and bringing your lunch (cheaper).
Ok, I didn't realize I needed to clarify but I guess I did. I did not mean to imply that the only chores we had to do had money involved. There were many things we had to do, chores wise, that we did not get "paid" for.
Our weekly chores were keeping our rooms clean, either setting the table, clearing the table or doing the dishes and some light cleaning on weekends.
Chores we had to do that were not part of the allowance: weeding the gigantic, "it's the biggest garden I've ever seen, are you kidding me" garden, watering or mowing the lawn, picking up the trimmings and raking after my dad trimmed bushes or shrubs or hedges, chopping and stacking wood, shoveling the sidewalks and the driveways, sweeping the patio and the porches, helping out when asked.
Things we could do for extra money: wash the cars, clean dad's garage, (his wood working area...ugh!!!!!), clean the little garage, (spiders!!!), make the dinner and any other boring, horrid chore they could come up with.
So yes, we got an allowance but that did not mean that everything we did was immediate guaranteed payment. Sometimes we just had to do things because we had to do them, end of story.
That's not the norm among the families I know. That said, a relative of mine once said that if a parent had the money and could easily do it, that there was an obligation to buy the kid a car; that's as far away from my belief system as one can get, but thinking about that I think that, in some cases, he may be right. I have always lived in areas where kids can get around using their feet, bikes, and public transportation; parents who willingly move their families to places where their kids are isolated without wheels probably do have more responsibility to help their kids have some measure of independence, whether that's giving them access to a family car or even buying them one.
On the jobs issue, I think all teenagers should hold a job at some point, even if it's only in the summer. I think that's just as important to becoming a well-rounded adult as is school or other activities. I think kids can grow up to be fine adults without that experience, but I think parents who do not "allow" their kids to work are unnecessarily holding them back.
I don't think having a job is the only way to be well rounded. The teens I know volunteer, hold leadership roles in school and in other community groups.
I think jobs help teenagers get a taste of what life is like out in the "real world." It helped me develop more social skills and a work ethic. My reputation was at stake and I had to "prove myself" to my bosses and co-workers and my parents...I think my parents probably wanted to make life easier for me since they both grew up poor during the Depression. Good thing that I had an "inner drive" to go to work at an early age and didn't sit back and let them do everything for me. I was involved with some organizations too but it wasn't the same as actually holding down a job on my own.
I think jobs help teenagers get a taste of what life is like out in the "real world." It helped me develop more social skills and a work ethic. My reputation was at stake and I had to "prove myself" to my bosses and co-workers and my parents...I think my parents probably wanted to make life easier for me since they both grew up poor during the Depression. Good thing that I had an "inner drive" to go to work at an early age and didn't sit back and let them do everything for me. I was involved with some organizations too but it wasn't the same as actually holding down a job on my own.
It might not be the same but I see that the kids I know who are involved in other activities have a sense of responsibility. They know how to handle themselves with others and they know their actions effect others.
It might not be the same but I see that the kids I know who are involved in other activities have a sense of responsibility. They know how to handle themselves with others and they know their actions effect others.
I think kids do gain and benefit from being part of groups and organizations. But there is just something special about being out in the world as a "working person" as a teen and mixing with other employees and the general public etc...I made friends with people of all ages. I didn't feel like a "kid" anymore. And I sure enjoyed earning my very own money too.
I see that there are a few of us on this page that weren't born with silver spoons in our hands/mpouths and that out parents new that by NOT giveing us everything we wanted, would benifit us in out adult years. Then there are the few that obviously haven't a clue what the real world is all about and had mom and dad tied around their golden wrapped ring fingers thowing everything at them just to keep them happy.
Hard word for what you want is a good and a real world teaching method and I cherish my mom and dad, for what they have taught me and my 9 sibs out on the farm. We still know how say (thank you Ma'am) and (No thank you Sir) and we still know to open the doors for the ladies, eldery and the little children.
Respect is earned, not demanded and when you teach your children that they can get what ever they want by demanding it, then you deserve what they give you when your in your golden years, "No repect".
Oh, and by the way. We did just fine not haveing a cell phone strapped to our heads 24/7. And I find it to be extremely rude for a child or anyone else to be sitting in the presence of others "TEXTING" and its as rude as whispering in front of others all the time.
I was once told a story by a lady that her boyfriend came to her home for about 3 hours. And during 3 hour visit time, he spent approximately 2 1/2 hour texting his buddies. Kids do the same thing now and its all the parents fault for their childs (Disconnecting) from the family unit,. Because they're buying them everything they want and they want it now without haveing to work for it.
I see that there are a few of us on this page that weren't born with silver spoons in our hands/mpouths and that out parents new that by NOT giveing us everything we wanted, would benifit us in out adult years. Then there are the few that obviously haven't a clue what the real world is all about and had mom and dad tied around their golden wrapped ring fingers thowing everything at them just to keep them happy.
I was certainly not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, far from it. Having gone months without hot water, heat and regular access to food, I'm positive I know what the "real world" is like. As an adult, I live very well due to my hard work as well as my husband's.
My Mom dropped out of school when she was 12 and went to work to help support her whole family. (She was the oldest in the family and "another parent" to her brothers and sisters.) This was during the Depression when the whole country had it "rough."....My Dad grew up in a big family on a farm and his family struggled to survive during the "Dust Bowl" and drought in the Plains...I was their only child but they didn't want to spoil me too much because they knew life would be hard for me as an adult if I expected things to just be "handed" to me on a "silver platter." They knew that life could be full of ups and downs. And right now our country is facing some "down times." College students are having trouble finding jobs when they graduate. People are getting laid-off close to their retirement..It's definitely a time of "survival of the fittest!" Those that are doing good right now might lose their well-paying jobs tomorrow. Things are unstable. So I'm glad that my parents didn't spoil me too much. And I'm glad I listened to their tales of strength and "survival" during the Depression.
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