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This response is the one most troubling to me. I understand protective fathers, I had one. I also had 4 older brothers who felt it was their responsibility to check out my boyfriends.
But, as the mother of three sons, I would NOT expect them to lay down their lives for a date, especially for things beyond their control, such as a mugging. I know for a fact they probably would anyway, because we have gotten emails from two fathers commending our boys for being protective of their daughters. But I would never want them to feel guilty for something beyond their control (and crime can be so random).
I DO expect they will not drink if they are driving. I DO expect they will see a girl safely to her door. I DO expect they do everything they can to stay out of harmful situations. I DO NOT expect them to take full responsibility for the life of another person, regardless of the circumstances.
This, exactly.
Had to go rep a bunch of people in the Florida forum so I could give you points for this.
And why hasn't daughter been taught by Daddy to keep one ear open for the screeching smoke alarm and thus be able to reach into her purse for her survival knife (a birthday present) thus allowing her to cut a hole in the drywall thereby saving herself and her weak-bladdered best friend thus enabling her to be interviewed by Channel 7 where she'll be able to say, "Daddy taught me to save myself!!"
(Top that. Go ahead. Double dare ya.)
She can't do that. The purse was stolen by some guy in a lewd Halloween costume.
And why hasn't daughter been taught by Daddy to keep one ear open for the screeching smoke alarm and thus be able to reach into her purse for her survival knife (a birthday present) thus allowing her to cut a hole in the drywall thereby saving herself and her weak-bladdered best friend thus enabling her to be interviewed by Channel 7 where she'll be able to say, "Daddy taught me to save myself!!"
(Top that. Go ahead. Double dare ya.)
This is a movie theater. The smoke alarms were disabled by teenage employees who wanted to smoke pot in the projection room without getting caught. Bathrooms in movie theaters are covered with hard plastic paneling that you cannot cut with a knife (trust me I put some of the stuff in our kitchen and it is almost impossible to cut even with a saw). She is not allowed to have knives becasue she previously castrated a boyfriend who attempted to get too fresh and she is still on parole. Besides, she is hard of hearing becuase her brother was told to wake her up one morning and when she would not get up, he threw a firecracker into her bedroom. And there was the guy in the lewed halloween coatume who took her purse.
Obviously this thread is directed at kids, who's parents have dating rules for them....
I don't know any "women" who's parents still set up dating rules for them...
Especially club going women.
Around here they have teen clubs and teen club nights. Even 16 year olds like to go hear some band play and there are clubs that allow them in. I'm not talking about rules for a 24 year old, but rules for a 16, 17 year old.
If a boy wants to take my daughter to a club or party or anywhere, there are certain rules I spell out. And a lot of the protecting her talk is also reminding him to protect her from himself. It's about respecting her as much as anything.
I definitely want to remind him that if he picked her up, he is to bring her home. That means he doesn't leave her to find her own way home because he found some other friends, or doesn't put her at risk. My daughter wasn't raised to be be very street-wise by the dating age of 16, she's been protected. I don't want dating to be a horrendous experience for her. I don't want her to end up having to fight off some sex maniac boyfriend herself. I don't want to have to pick her up in some police station or emergency room. Just a nice date where she's back home by a certain time and had a good safe time.
This is a movie theater. The smoke alarms were disabled by teenage employees who wanted to smoke pot in the projection room without getting caught. Bathrooms in movie theaters are covered with hard plastic paneling that you cannot cut with a knife (trust me I put some of the stuff in our kitchen and it is almost impossible to cut even with a saw). She is not allowed to have knives becasue she previously castrated a boyfriend who attempted to get too fresh and she is still on parole. Besides, she is hard of hearing becuase her brother was told to wake her up one morning and when she would not get up, he threw a firecracker into her bedroom. And there was the guy in the lewed halloween coatume who took her purse.
That is just some really bad luck. Sucks to be her. I still wouldn't expect a teenage boy to climb through a burning building to get to her. That is a ridiculous request especially if this is a first or second date. She should be able to take care of herself and if she can't get out on her own, be able to yell for help.
If she hasn't been taught how to take care of herself, then that isn't the boyfriend's fault.
That is just some really bad luck. Sucks to be her. I still wouldn't expect a teenage boy to climb through a burning building to get to her. That is a ridiculous request especially if this is a first or second date. She should be able to take care of herself and if she can't get out on her own, be able to yell for help.
If she hasn't been taught how to take care of herself, then that isn't the boyfriend's fault.
It's all good and well to want our sons to do the "noble" thing, but when push comes to shove...all movies and fantasies aside, I don't know a single person who would want their child to sacrifice their life for someone else's child. Would we want them to do the right thing? Of course we would! Would we hope that they knew what they were doing and do it correctly, and safely, so that they don't die right along with someone else? I would sure hope so.
Even in the medical world you are taught to, in the face of catastrophe and danger, to first ....save YOURSELF! If you are not making sure that you are safe, you can not help anyone else!
The more I meet the people my adult children are dating, the more I think that arranged marriages are not such a bad idea.
Which is why my mom doesn't meet anyone.
My friends know all about who I have dated, who I like, they have met most of them, except the cop who likes me but I leave my mom out of that stuff, at least until I am out of the house because then I can just leave the house and go home or hang upon her if she starts her usual berating she does.
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Who told her to "Deal with it."
