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Yes, parents tip the scales and they do so with things like raising their kids in a two parent household and being able to meet their children's needs and having their children grow up in a better area... These are the things they do TO tip those scales.
They can also tip the scales in the other direction by not spending enough time with their children, being emotionally unavailable for their children, being mentally abusive to their children, preventing their children from participating in the same level of activities that are the norm for their peer demographic, and all sorts of other ways.
Children need much more than just two parents financially meeting their children's needs in a better neighborhood. Most middle class parents do more and that's why their children are more likely to succeed.
By middle school, peers are becomming a stronger influence than parents.
You do realize that most lottery winners really screw up their lives, right? There's a difference between working your way into the middle class and buying a winning lotto ticket. SES is about more than money. It's about the things that made you successful in the first place.
Most of the kids I teach are on a fast track to success because their parents are successful.
Yes, like I keep saying, it is about what you DO, not about your demographics.
By middle school, peers are becomming a stronger influence than parents.
You do realize that most lottery winners really screw up their lives, right? There's a difference between working your way into the middle class and buying a winning lotto ticket. SES is about more than money. It's about the things that made you successful in the first place.
Most of the kids I teach are on a fast track to success because their parents are successful.
As Hopes stated, being able to meet your kids' financial needs, putting them in a good neighborhood amd having two parents is DEFINITELY not all it takes to raise a successful child...
Great thread! I believe I am a good parent because I have learned that right now is the best time to take care of the things that are important to me. I also learned that the most important people are the ones around me. What I do for my daughter is just as important as how I made her feel.
What does it take? Learning from my mistakes and allowing others, including my daughter, to learn from theirs. Sometimes, ha, many times, it just means that I have to respect differences. It also means starting on a fresh page at any opportunity. If there was one gift my extended family gave me, it was this last one.
I didn't think I was a particularly good parent. I was blessed with a joyful AND very, very difficult child, which did not get easier in her teens. I made a lot of decisions that I wish I could reverse, but she didn't come with a manual.
Our biggest critics were my husband's family. His siblings all thought they knew the answers to raising kids, and one of them even made the ballsy comment that her kids "can do no wrong."
But, see, here's the risk when people make comments like that: Things can change drastically for them later. My daughter evolved into quite a stellar young lady when she hit about 17; many of her "perfect" cousins, including the ones who said that their children could do no wrong, went wayward in high school. Some of them are adults now and are STILL a disappointment to their parents. They all spoke too soon.
However, some of them have admitted to us about how wrong they were.
My kids think so. But I think looking back at your child raising years is pretty humbling. I think everyone wishes they had done some things a little different. If they don't, they are probably in denial.
Two out of the last three presidents of the United States had single Mothers. I would say that says a lot about how good parents single Mothers are.
You're getting all defensive here.
Every so often, Ivory shows up in a thread citing statistics and riling up people who are having a virtual cup of coffee discussion, not participating in a research course. It begins to feel as though every comment added should include citations and proof or it's invalid.
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