Preschool Afterschool Nightmare (toddler, toy, playing, son)

[CD's Only Mrs. X]

Ok Mommies and Daddies!

Toddler X goes to school three x's a week from 8.30 am to 2.15pm. Every day he comes home he throws a massive tantrum fit and becomes extremely demanding. Like for instance as I type he wanted to go to McDonalds for nuggets which I told him no and he can have a nice snack at home or some meatballs I have prepared for later tonight. He went for the snack but kicked off because I put it in the wrong bowl (which there was no way in hell I was changing it) and I turned on the tv and the program he wanted to watch wasn't on.

For some reason this only really happens when he comes home from school. It becomes some sort of 2 1/2 year old drama from boogers in his nose to clean down to his shoes being taken off. When he has full day off of school he is normal but the days he goes he turns into Damian from the Omen.

The weird thing is I spoke with the teachers and the director about this and they all said he is the sweetest well mannered kid in the classroom. The only problem is that he is the youngest in his class and he often sticks up for himself when a big kid tries to push him around to take away a toy he was playing with.

What recommendations do you mommies and daddies have? I feel the naughty step isn't always going to solve the problem and I do walk away from his tantrums but lately it just seems to be getting worse.

Any proactive and positive advice is much appreciate!

[Mattie]

Honestly, to me he just sounds tired. Does he nap at pre-school or just have a quiet time? That can be a long day for a little guy. I would just put on a video or something when he gets home, and chances are he will fall asleep if that is, indeed, the problem.

[Zimbochick]

I was also thinking he may be tired. That's quite a long school day for a little bloke.

[Momma_bear]

I vote for total exhaustion. I would just try to avoid anything that would set him off when he is really tired.

[maciesmom]

Another vote for tired.

[NJGOAT]

Being tired can turn the best kid into the worst kid, so some of that seems to be at play. I think you also have a little bit of an issue with routine given the schedule and also with adopting to structure. At school he most likely has very little choice of what to do and when he wants to do it. Some of his acting out at home after his day at school could just as easily be tied to him asserting his desire to have something go his way on his terms. It may be worth it to "give" a little in order to lessen the stress on both of you. My son often got that way when he first started school and would come home after a long day. Letting him have a little time to unwind, do what he wanted and give in to a little bit of his requests made things go smoother. You seem to be doing this but maybe something like just putting the snack in the other bowl could have defused the situation even if it is a totally BS and pointless request.

[rockinmomma]

This sounds like typical 2 year old drama. It may have to do with transitioning from preschool to home that sets him off, add in the PP's idea of being tired and you have a demanding toddler X.

Can you set a routine for when he gets home? Something predictable so he has time to adjust?

Also, with the drama over the bowl (lawza mercy, I remember that kinda drama!!!), what I used to do is keep the kiddie bowls at a location where my kids could get them. I'd let them get their bowl/cup and bring it to me to fix whatever snack or juice. It helps with their independence as well as avoiding bowl drama.

For when the tantrums come, and they will come, walking away or putting him in his room until he can get it together will help in avoiding the attention getting that fuels most tantrums.

[CD's Only Mrs. X]

Thank you all who have replied. He does seem tired but the teachers said he takes a long nap. Nap time is from 12.30 to about 1.45. Sometimes the teachers just let them sleep until we come to pick them up. NJGoat I will take what you said on board and 'give in'. Reps all around!

[Dorthy]

My dd (5) goes to school one day a week from 9-3. She acts the exact same way when I pick her up. Yesterday she demanded that we stop at the store for gummy bears and then cried for 20 minutes straight because I said no. She's also perfectly behaved at school.

I agree with others that it's exhaustion after a long day. I think that when they are so well behaved all day once they are alone with Mom they feel safe to release any and all frustrations they've been holding onto during the school day.

I bring a snack with me when I pick her up so that she can eat in the car and set her up with a movie so she can relax when we get home. The behavior is frustrating but at the same time, pretty understandable.

[CD's Only Mrs. X]

Originally Posted by Dorthy

My dd (5) goes to school one day a week from 9-3. She acts the exact same way when I pick her up. Yesterday she demanded that we stop at the store for gummy bears and then cried for 20 minutes straight because I said no. She's also perfectly behaved at school.

I agree with others that it's exhaustion after a long day. I think that when they are so well behaved all day once they are alone with Mom they feel safe to release any and all frustrations they've been holding onto during the school day.

I bring a snack with me when I pick her up so that she can eat in the car and set her up with a movie so she can relax when we get home. The behavior is frustrating but at the same time, pretty understandable.

It is understandable but being this is my first time around I just wonder WTF? I want to tell Toddler X 'Everybody says you are so sweet, cute and good why can't mommy have that!' There are moments when I want to throw my own tantrum.

The thing is I raised my sisters children prior to Toddler X and they never went to school until they reached kindergarten. By then I was off with my husband so I do not remember how it use to be or at times being this difficult.