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I guess I wouldn't have a birthday party where I didn't feel like I was capable of watching all of the kids with my husband and maybe a friend. My peeve is that you wind up having to entertain a group of adults you don't know, feed them and try to run a party all at the same time. I guess I'm not very paranoid about stranger danger either but if I didn't feel like it was a safe place I wouldn't leave my kid there. But that isn't usually the case.
For example, my daughter went to a Halloween party a few weeks ago in a rented room at a country club, no other parties or anyone there. There were about 14-15 kids. I dropped off my daughter and when I came back to pick her up there were like 10 mothers sitting around eating candy and drinking coffee while the poor party host tried to organize games while keeping the adults happy at the same time. I have no idea why they all stuck around, definitely not a safety reason.
You might not have had a party like that but the parents of the other kids might not be as comfortable as you about your abilities. Especially if they did not know you.
One of the places that was popular for parties when my kids were in elementary school was an arcade where there were also laser tag and roller skating that attracted an older (teen) crowd. There was no security at the door like there is at Chuck E Cheese and the place is really busy. I never felt comfortable leaving my kids there when they were small.
I have to say that I didn't really don't care whether other people were comfortable with a place or not. If I was not comfortable with it I did not leave my kids there alone. I never expected the other parents to feed me or entertain me. I just stayed.
Whether parents stay or not may be due to other factors too. My son has food allergies, and he is quite self sufficient in that regard now, but when he was younger I didn't feel it was fair placing that burden on the host parents. My kids have friends that have a variety of health related issues that make leaving them at a party unadvisable, such as Type 1 Diabetes, etc.
It drives me nuts that parents stay at kids birthday parties. I understand for a 4yr old but my daughter is 7 and all the parents still are sticking around. It's silly, if your child can't behave themselves at a party by 7yrs old then they probably shouldn't be going.
Sorry a little off topic...pet peeve of mine.
Where I live, that's the norm, the parents stay along with all their other kids, grandparents and whoever else wanted to come to a party, and lots of beer of course is expected.
I would just make it clear on the invitation if there are any doubts. Make it clear it's a kids party, put what time kid can be dropped off and picked up. That way if they hang around, there was nothing you indicated in the invitation that you'd be getting them free food.
My 2 cents, as a non-parent but as an aunt..........
I've brought my nephew to birthday parties before where the parents stayed. I did NOT expect to be fed. I paid for my own food. IMO, it's a kids party, not intended for the parents to be included (unless the invite stated otherwise, which I've never seen it do so)
I think most adults will drop off kids and go. I know I would stay and help, but not expect food. Get a pizza, that is plenty if a parent wants a nibble.
I was thinking maybe I should at least do the small platter of nuggets since a couple of my close friends also have younger kids. I told them they won't be included in the party package but they can still come if they just wanna celebrate his birthday; didn't want some of his friends to miss out because mom didn't have a baby-sitter for a sibling. There'll be enough cake & ice cream for everyone though.
About this - are all the kids you invited good friends of the family or do they include classmates whose families you don't know? If it's the latter, you might want to have a list with all the names of the invited kids, cutting off any parents trying to sneak siblings into the package. Your son is 6, so you're probably in the loop about that. We had my son's first birthday party at a local children's museum last year and they reminded us several times to give them a list because apparently it's a big problem. That way you aren't in the awkward position of having to pay for a bunch of extra kids.
As for the parents, I agree the small nuggets tray would be nice. I also think a picture of water and some cups would be fine for drinks. But I also know a lot of party places force you to buy bottled water instead of giving it to you free from the tap, so in that case, I wouldn't buy it.
Whether parents stay or not may be due to other factors too. My son has food allergies, and he is quite self sufficient in that regard now, but when he was younger I didn't feel it was fair placing that burden on the host parents. My kids have friends that have a variety of health related issues that make leaving them at a party unadvisable, such as Type 1 Diabetes, etc.
We have this issue as well, and so I always stayed at parties when my daughter with allergies was younger. I also have stayed at parties that are a long distance from my house and so it does not make sense to go home. With my middle daughter, I have stayed when she was younger because she was so shy she would cling to my arm and beg me to stay.
Overall, there are many reasons why parents stay, and I just don't see it being a big deal or a problem. When I have hosted parties, I have liked it when other parents have stayed. It makes it more fun to have friends to talk to. I never felt like I had to entertain them. They not only take care of themselves, but they also help with the kids.
When it comes to food, I generally order a little extra in case a parent missed a meal. This may involve ordering an extra pizza, a pitcher of soda or something like that. I have found that most parents will not eat unless you invite them to have something. The much bigger problem is siblings. There are some parents who expect you to feed their other children. I think that is a little rude and presumptuous.
A lot of it comes down to the dynamic of the kids being invited. If you are doing the old, invite the whole class bit, then chances are not all of the kids are friends and most of the parents probably don't know each other either. In that case, I think most parents would opt to stay as they simply don't know who they are leaving their kids with. If that is the situation, then I think it would also be appropriate to serve drinks and light appetizers for the adults to enjoy. Not a full on meal, but something that they could snack on.
If the party only consists of friends and people you know, then it comes down to what is normal for your group. If everyone is comfortable with everyone else, then people may leave their kid to have fun. If you know everyone then you know what they may or may not expect in terms of food.
I've done two kids parties so far for my son where he invited his entire class. The first was at Chuck E. Cheeses (Kindergarten), the second we had a bounce house place (1st Grade). At the first one, of the 12 or so kids that came, only one was dropped off by the parents. Honestly, I would have rather they stayed like everyone else so I didn't feel the need to watch him like a hawk. We ordered drinks and pizza for the parents as well, but it wasn't very expensive. Only one of the adults seemed surprise that we served food for the adults, the rest reacted thankful, but that it was sort of expected. The second party, we knew more of the kids and families, so about half of the kids were dropped off for the party, but the rest had their parents stay. We served appetizers (pretzel nugget tray and veggies w/ dip) and had drinks for the parents while the kids had pizza.
I've been to about a dozen other parties in the past year or so and all of them served food for the parents in some capacity. A couple of them had pizza or sandwiches, but the majority offered appetizers and drinks to the parents who wanted to wait around. I generally stayed at the parties at my sons request and it was also a nice little social opportunity for me as well if I knew the other parents.
So, if it was me, I would serve something, not necessarily a full meal, but something to nibble on and have a drink. This is just good hosting/manners to me. I also see this as an absolute must if the place you are at doesn't have food that people can buy on their own.
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