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Because I didn't show it...no other assumptions to be made. I said you were probably dressed inappropriately. My opinion. If you don't think you were, that's cool...but nowhere in my post did I tell you how to or how not to dress. I was stating an opinion, not telling you what to do. Don't worry, no decisions were being made for you, so you can calm right down. Talk about twisting someone's words...
I don't need to calm down at all, how about you? Twisting words, making judgments (or stating opinions, whatever you choose to call it), assuming...calmness? It all happens here.
Bottom line...the title of the thread is "What is your opinion on 14 year olds getting their belly button pierced?" Hmmm...how did "opinions" of how I dress factor into that? If that's what its about, maybe you need to start a different thread...on a different forum, since this is PARENTING. Last time I checked, I didn't need any parenting.
Your definition of a fad seems to be something that people do that you don't like. I don't consider piercing to be a fad, just ugly.
I am much more authoritative than authoritarian (there's a difference), but sure, I use some version of "because I said so" at times. "No, you cannot break the law" is a pretty strong hand too. But I also wouldn't tell my daughter, "Think for yourself" and "Don't be such a follower" when I said no.
Actually I don't mind them following certain unpermanent and safe fads at all. They can experiment with clothes, hair, makeup. At 14 though I want to protect them from their young teen selves.
It comes down to we all have our limits, our line in the sand, you have yours, I have mine. Some parents are extremely lenient, kids can stay out all night, others have curfews. Some people have thought I was too lenient about letting them have green, blue, fire engine red hair, or boys with black nailpolish.
None of my kids have rebelled against the rules because they know what they are. I'm also not afraid to say no to my kids and they seem fine with that.
I would be fine with most piercings after the age of 14, usually at 14 they are in high school and capable of making those decisions.
The tongue is the only thing I would say wait till 18.
Nose, eyebrow, belly button, ears, lip, as long as it doesn't conflict with school policy its fine and most public schools don't have rules on facial piercings.
I wouldn't like it but my daughter has done worse. When she was 14 her DAD took her to get her eyebrow pierced. I hated it but he thought it was cool. A year later it ripped out when she was pulling off a sweatshirt and left a nice scar.
When she was 17 she and some friends found a guy in a trailer park who would give them tattoos. It was a crappy heart that looked more like a blob a year later so her DAD took her to a tattoo parlor so they could get tattooed together and she covered it up with a nicer one.
When she was 22 she came home for Thanksgiving with her nose pierced. She didn't tell me but waited for me to notice and when I complained about more facial piercings and the $ (we were paying for college and rent, she didn't have a job) she said her DAD knew about it but they decided not to tell me because they knew I wouldn't approve.
I still love my daughter, but for a variety of reasons I'm getting divorced
I wouldn't like it but my daughter has done worse. When she was 14 her DAD took her to get her eyebrow pierced. I hated it but he thought it was cool. A year later it ripped out when she was pulling off a sweatshirt and left a nice scar.
When she was 17 she and some friends found a guy in a trailer park who would give them tattoos. It was a crappy heart that looked more like a blob a year later so her DAD took her to a tattoo parlor so they could get tattooed together and she covered it up with a nicer one.
When she was 22 she came home for Thanksgiving with her nose pierced. She didn't tell me but waited for me to notice and when I complained about more facial piercings and the $ (we were paying for college and rent, she didn't have a job) she said her DAD knew about it but they decided not to tell me because they knew I wouldn't approve.
I still love my daughter, but for a variety of reasons I'm getting divorced
As long as she is doing good in school and is a good person what does piercings and tattoos have to do with anything?
Its just ink and metal and like I have said time and time before, they are just things, with no inherent meaning, just whatever people add to it.
I have my nose pierced too and it doesn't look back. Its a little shiny stud and it looks cute.
And at 22, regardless of who's paying for what, piercings and tattoos aren't really something you should try to control. By that time it doesn't teach them anything and its just pointlessly controlling someone because you don't feel they should do so, which isn't a good reason in any situation.
Visualize the scene of your 14 year old daughter coming to school the day after her belly button piercing.
Several things will happen:
She will show her friends (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
They will tell their friends.
Everyone will want to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will ask to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will talk about her belly to other boys
Other boys will ask her to show her belly. (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
She is the girl who lifts up her shirt and pulls down her pants a little for boys who ask her to.
Now, is this what you want for your daughter? It may seem perfectly innocent to her, but after all--she is ONLY 14 and may not understand the implications of everything going on behind the scenes.
Perhaps piercings below the neck on body parts typically covered by clothing should be reserved for older girls who have a little more experience with how gossip and reputations are made.
Visualize the scene of your 14 year old daughter coming to school the day after her belly button piercing.
Several things will happen:
She will show her friends (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
They will tell their friends.
Everyone will want to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will ask to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will talk about her belly to other boys
Other boys will ask her to show her belly. (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
She is the girl who lifts up her shirt and pulls down her pants a little for boys who ask her to.
Maybe back in the early or mid 90s, when belly piercings were still a novel idea. But now....I doubt it. they're so commonplace that a lot of high school girls probably have them, and I'm sure most high school boys don't think anything of it.
It comes down to we all have our limits, our line in the sand, you have yours, I have mine.
This has been one of the most fascinating parts of reading this forum to me. Obviously we all have limits. But what fascinates me is where they come from or how we determine what they are going to be.
Quote:
Some parents are extremely lenient, kids can stay out all night, others have curfews. Some people have thought I was too lenient about letting them have green, blue, fire engine red hair, or boys with black nailpolish.
For me the LEAST important factor is lenient or hard. For me the most important factor is what is the end goal, and what are the reasons for deciding on a limit or not based on that desired end goal.
It seems a lot of people don't think in terms of end goals and how to get to that end goal. I don't like it therefor you won't do it seems a good enough reason to set a limit. That doesn't make a great deal of sense to me.
Quote:
None of my kids have rebelled against the rules because they know what they are. I'm also not afraid to say no to my kids and they seem fine with that.
Visualize the scene of your 14 year old daughter coming to school the day after her belly button piercing.
Several things will happen:
She will show her friends (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
They will tell their friends.
Everyone will want to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will ask to see it (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
Boys will talk about her belly to other boys
Other boys will ask her to show her belly. (lift shirt, pull down pants a little)
She is the girl who lifts up her shirt and pulls down her pants a little for boys who ask her to.
Now, is this what you want for your daughter? It may seem perfectly innocent to her, but after all--she is ONLY 14 and may not understand the implications of everything going on behind the scenes.
Perhaps piercings below the neck on body parts typically covered by clothing should be reserved for older girls who have a little more experience with how gossip and reputations are made.
I didn't and still dont know any 14 year old girls who wear pants high enough that you would even remotely have to pull them down to assist in showing off a belly button piercing.
And no one cares THAT much if some chick gets her belly button pierced.
Stop watching so much tv.
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