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Im not quite sure why everyone is making it seem like im just beating the kids and not feeding him or something. I dont yell at him hit him or anything.
I feel like if my bf and I break up and he got a new GIRLFRIEND (not wife gf) that I wouldnt want her to play mommy to my baby. Its not her place just like it isnt mine. And its not just diaper wipes. Its everything. Im scrapping to make ends meet while this chick is living it up for NOTHING. How hard is it to provide wipes for your own kid and send food when those things dont cost her anything. But for me $30 in food is hitting hard. I make enough to support myself and my daughter. No one else.
And as for my bf moving on to someone else. HA! thats funny. LMAO. Wow that made my day.
While your guy could be the exception to the rule, odds aren't great he's sticking around for you or your daughter, sorry.
Try hard to understand how you will feel when the tables are turned and YOUR child is in this boy's position.
The reason I throw marriage out there is because I wouldnt want anyone less than a LEgal step mother to have anything to do with MY child. So as my mother taught me I treat others how I want to be treated.
Thanks for your post though.
You're welcome.
Why is that, exactly? You'd rather have a single parent raise a child when there's someone else perfectly capable of acting like a mother/father figure in the child's life?
That is terribly backwards and shows that the best interests of the child isn't being met by the parents.
I feel so sad for children in that position.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soconfused112
How do you figure hes not supporting his child?
How can he support both if YOU have to pay HIS child support? I'm starting to feel sorry for you as it look like he's taking advantage of your relationship.
I tried keeping an open mind about the situation until I got to this point.
Excuse me for stating this, as I have no clue of how you guys live your lives, but you chose this situation (as you stated in a previous post) and now you must find a more adult way of dealing with it other than asking a bunch of strangers what we think you should do.
If you love your boyfriend then it shouldn't matter how much his son annoys you, you have a responsibility to take care of one son just like the other. Do you honestly think his other son is any less a part of your family, or doesn't deserve the same amount of respect, that the one you bore does? News flash, they are both their father's children, regardless of who he impregnated to get them here.
The fact that you throw the whole "it would be different if we were married" bit is just plain ridiculous. Neither of the poor kids had a choice to be born, and the fact that you treat his other son indifferently truly makes me wonder if you're even suitable to raise children yourself. I know that sounds insulting but that's the risk you run when posting things like this to the internet. The reason I say this is because you also throw out things like "if my bf and I ever split. . ."; that said, why'd you have a child in the first place? You do understand that if you guys do break up, YOU will be putting your perceived burden of YOUR child on the lap of the OTHER mom. Excuse me for saying this but you're a living hypocrite.
I really am not trying to insult you or your parenting skills. I just think the way you've expressed how you feel about this other child is freakin' outrageous. You sound smart enough to know that you should be setting an example of how to raise his other son more appropriately and not whining about how an 18 month old "personally annoys" you. 18 month olds are not capable of personally annoying anybody. It's obvious you just don't like anything about his ex and, you said it yourself, are pissed you don't have your perceived "perfect family".
Just my humble, worthless opinion.
EDIT:
Then I read this. What exactly is a "wife gf"?
Do you honestly expect the kid to come with a "kid-kit" or something everytime he gets dropped off to you?
Your age is really starting to show through.
I meant NOT WIFE BUT GIRLFRIEND
And by the way you could NEVER make me feel like a bad parent. My daughter will always be taken care of first and foremost. Sorry if you dont agree with that choice but
This is not rocket science. You are not even married. Get him OFF your bank account. Get your own. Have no assets or liabilities together. SOLVED.
Yeah, thats already the plan. We keep putting it off but its going to happen. The reason we are putting it off btw is because both our direcr deposits are put into the account.
Last edited by JustJulia; 12-02-2011 at 03:01 PM..
Reason: fixed html tag
2) If I dont pay HIS child support my bank account will be frozen.
.
Get your own bank account. Problem solved
ETA, saw other comments.
Open new account
set up direct deposit
Once 1st Direct Deposit hits new account, turn off old one .
As to the rest of this situation. You are hurting your boyfriends child. That's all there is too it
While your guy could be the exception to the rule, odds aren't great he's sticking around for you or your daughter, sorry.
Try hard to understand how you will feel when the tables are turned and YOUR child is in this boy's position.
The reason I laughed at the comment is because im not a needy person. If he so chose to leave he could. No hurt feelings this way. But I know he wont leave. For the simple reason he WANTS a family. He wants the whole mom dad 2 and a half kids with a white picket fence. He's a good guy really. I dont know why you guys seem to think he's some player.
HEY OP.... has it ever occurred to you that someday your boyfriend would DUMP YOU.... and let me tell you why...
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER! He's going to sense your resentment towards his 1st child, and he's going to ask himself a very very serious question... "is this the woman I want to be a step-mom toward's my kid?"
He just might say NO!
Then what happens to YOU and the child you share?
dumb question.... how long would YOU stay with a guy that didn't like YOUR KID????
Why is that, exactly? You'd rather have a single parent raise a child when there's someone else perfectly capable of acting like a mother/father figure in the child's life?
That is terribly backwards and shows that the best interests of the child isn't being met by the parents.
I feel so sad for children in that position.
How can he support both if YOU have to pay HIS child support? I'm starting to feel sorry for you as it look like he's taking advantage of your relationship.
As i've said i've only paid his child support twice. And I chose to do it because his hours were cut those months. It's not like he's like "hey babe pay my child support" and im like "oh of course honey no prob" its only in dire circ.
HEY OP.... has it ever occurred to you that someday your boyfriend would DUMP YOU.... and let me tell you why...
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER! He's going to sense your resentment towards his 1st child, and he's going to ask himself a very very serious question... "is this the woman I want to be a step-mom toward's my kid?"
He just might say NO!
Then what happens to YOU and the child you share?
dumb question.... how long would YOU stay with a guy that didn't like YOUR KID????
The bold is a very good point. It's the reason I put MY daughter before HIS son.
Anyways he can go right ahead and dump me like I said OH WELL. Geesh guys quit talking about that.
And I would NEVER be with a man who didnt like my child. Off topic but if my bf and I ever split then I wouldnt bring another man around my daughter until A) she can talk to tell me if he's abusing her and B) I know he's good enough to meet my daughter.
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