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Also if the baby has Asthma the mother should get FMLA so it shouldnt be a problem.
FMLA is unpaid leave. Most single parents can't afford to be off work without pay.
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Originally Posted by OhioChic
why cant you go back to work AND breastfeed? There are machines that pump th emilk for you called breast pumps. Also if the baby has Asthma the mother should get FMLA so it shouldnt be a problem. Not trying to get in the middle of the argument but my daughter was born 6 weeks early and I went through all of the above mentioned and I was still owrking as a banker.
You had the luxury of being able to take longer FMLA for a premi because you have a partner to help financially support you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic
I really was trying to stay out of this I really was. Buttttttt......what if a pregnant wife loses her husband during the pregnancy? Should she put the baby up for adoption? I mean the baby DESERVES 2 parents right? It would be unfair to the baby for the mom to raise her child alone.
That's different. Unforseen circumstances happen. It's a different ballgame to purposely plan to put a child at a disadvantage.
FMLA is unpaid leave. Most single parents can't afford to be off work without pay.
That's different. Unforseen circumstances happen. It's a different ballgame to purposely plan to put a child at a disadvantage.
And thats the same thing as the baby having medical issues. People dont plan on thier kids being sick or being born with problems just like they wouldnt plan on their husband passing. It's the same ball game.
And a baby with asthma doesnt mean you have to be home with them 24/7 just on the days that they are having "episodes". I've only had to take one day so far and that wasnt even necessary I was just over protective.
I had a talk last night with my mother and I asked her if she ever wanted to have children by a certain age and she said "no, I never really thought about it." She always wanted children, but never really sought out to do so. Then at 30, she and my dad were together and she unexpectedly got pregnant with me. They got married and she gave birth to me when she was 31 and when my dad was 30.
I asked her if she thought she had me at a good age and she said "yes, but I wish I had waited until I was 35." She even said later that she thought she and my dad were too young when they had me.
I told her about how I want to start having children in a few years and she suggested I wait until I'm 35, which I think is too old. My dad on the other hand thinks he was at the perfect age and he suggests I wait until 30/31. But I was his second child so it may be different.
My mom also told me she could have never had children in her 20s as she said she was too immature and partied too much. She barely even thought about being a mother then. Plus she didn't a great boyfriend and moved around a lot.
My dad had his first son at 21 but he joined the Army and traveled a lot. So he wasn't that involved in his first son's life. It wasn't until he and my mom got married and when I was born that he really settled down and felt ready to be a parent.
But everyone's different. Personally, I'm the complete opposite of what my parents were. I'm not a partying person, I'm not interested in being in multiple relationships, "finding myself" or "experimenting". I have a goal of what I'd like to do within the next 5 years and marriage and parenthood are high up on the list. Around 22/23 is ideally when I'd like to become a dad. But I would like to have a child now but I'm not married yet nor can I afford to raise a family.
As you can see, my dad had his first son at 21 but didn't feel really ready until 30. My mom had me at 31 but thinks it would have been best to wait until she was 35. Me, at 19, I feel ready. But of course, I don't think anyone is truly ready when their children are born.
And thats the same thing as the baby having medical issues. People dont plan on thier kids being sick or being born with problems just like they wouldnt plan on their husband passing. It's the same ball game.
That's why it's wise to wait until a couple has a stable relationship and at least one partner's career is established for financial security prior to having children.
That's why it's wise to wait until a couple has a stable relationship and at least one partner's career is established for financial security prior to having children.
yes I'm with you on that one. SOMEONE needs to have something going on. I wouldnt seek to be a single mother either but it's the same thing with gay marriage I wouldnt do it but to each it's own.
I'm pretty sure most woman not all but most who seek to become a single mother are really great mothers and their children are happy.
We had our first child at 23 years old. We wanted to be financially secure before having kids and we were doing just fine; struggles here and there but for the most part we were getting by at the time. We figured you'll never be financially ready for a kid so the sooner the better. Like you, I was thinking that having a kid in your 30s wouldnt be ideal. The way i thought of it was when the kid is 10 i'll be 40 and when the kid is 20 i'll be 50 etc. I was afraid of being to old for my kids to be able to be active with them so we planned a pregnancy around 23 and we got married at 21.
Oh my goodness, just cart me off to the old folks home right now.
And a baby with asthma doesnt mean you have to be home with them 24/7 just on the days that they are having "episodes". I've only had to take one day so far and that wasnt even necessary I was just over protective.
Depends on how severe the asthma is. And "episodes" can't be predicted, so if the single parent doesn't have a good back-up system (meaning help) he/she is in trouble.
Depends on how severe the asthma is. And "episodes" can't be predicted, so if the single parent doesn't have a good back-up system (meaning help) he/she is in trouble.
right no doubt. But a good back up system doesnt have to be a partner. It could be a grandma grandpa aunt uncle friend neighbor daycare they have alot of options.
I'm pretty sure most woman not all but most who seek to become a single mother are really great mothers and their children are happy.
I suspect most women who plan to be single mothers have emotional and/or psychological issues. I don't think it's an healthy decision for most people. The decision is being made based on the lack of something. Just look at that crazy Octomom. Of course she took it to the extreme, but her basis for wanting to be a single mother is common among women who purposely chose the single mother path. She wanted to fill a void in her life without any consideration for the consequences to the children she created to fill that void. It's uncommon to purposely want to be a spouseless parent. Of people who prefer to be alone, it's even more rare for them to have a strong desire to have children. It's just not logically possible that the majority of people who plan to be single parents are healthy individuals. And it's hard to believe that an emotionally unhealthy women, so unhealthy to the point of chosing to do something so unusual, can be a great mother. I'm sure there are some, but I'm confident that it's not most.
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