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I have very limited patience for mompetition. The "one size fits all" approach to parenting is just unrealistic, IMO. With the exception of truly egregious behavior (eg, harming the child), there are too many variables involved to say X always leads to Y. Unsolicited comments about parenting (or anything really) tend to annoy me.
Everyone has different parenting styles and all think their style is the best. The "good/bad mother/father" debate will go on until the end of time.
Perhaps. But I think it was an interesting article. I do not think my parenting style is best across the board. That's why I ask for advice and listen to what others have to say. Also, even if I think a particular issue is best for my family, I would never presume to guess it is best for all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead
Wine at 6:30? What if your baby gets a high fever tonight and you have to drive them to the clinic? Are you going to drive your baby with a buzz to the doc? Shame on you!
This is what you got from the article? Really? It's the name of her blog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Debating choices is a good way to figure out what the best choices are. Unfortunately, too many people take it personally because they are insecure in their own choices. Seriously, there's no need to take what others do as passing judgement on what you do...unless you're just plain insecure in your own choices and then you need to figure out what's right and what's not before you take one step further. Making decisions you are unsure of or have not thought through is a good way to end up feeling like you did the wrong thing.
Not necessarily. I thought that I was a pretty good parent until I started frequenting parenting forums. It's sort of like the evangelicals that proselytized in the African Congo. The Africans didn't know that nudity was wrong until the evangelicals told them so.
Some people are very good at making others feel inferior. It's the nature of the human condition.
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Originally Posted by Sudcaro
I parent the way I want and will never judge anyone for doing things differently... because we are all different, so...
Agreed.
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Originally Posted by VBmom
Love the article. For the life of me I will never understand why some women feel the need to tell everyone else how to raise their children. Unless some harm is being done, it is none of your bees wax. Why can't we all be nice and stop worrying about whether or not someone breast feeds, co-sleeps, reads to their child every day since birth, works or doesn't work or has a glass of wine with dinner! Let it go and worry about your own children. We are all doing what we think is best for our child or at least doing the best we can. No one is perfect and in my opinion those who go around telling everyone how perfect they are usually have the most to hide.
I have very limited patience for mompetition. The "one size fits all" approach to parenting is just unrealistic, IMO. With the exception of truly egregious behavior (eg, harming the child), there are too many variables involved to say X always leads to Y. Unsolicited comments about parenting (or anything really) tend to annoy me.
MIL truly and really thinks that all children are the same and need the same things. It's INFURIATING. "MY kids never had tantrums, MY kids never wet the bed, MY kids always had night lights..." and so on. When I said once that all children are different and thus require different approaches, she called me a hippy.
For me there are certain aspects of parenting that are opinion, and fit an individual family, choices such a sleeping arrangements, newborn feeding choices, discipline. But there are those aspects that are quantifiable, and although a slippery slope, warrant comment. Lack of sleep, poor diet, and lack of medical attention immediately come to mind. And to a lesser extent lack of exercise and boredom. Whether and how one comments in a professional capacity, or as a concerned friend/family member is tricky.
I have always been receptive to input from trusted friends and family. Whether I act on it is up to me.
Perhaps. But I think it was an interesting article. I do not think my parenting style is best across the board. That's why I ask for advice and listen to what others have to say. Also, even if I think a particular issue is best for my family, I would never presume to guess it is best for all.
This is what you got from the article? Really? It's the name of her blog.
Not necessarily. I thought that I was a pretty good parent until I started frequenting parenting forums. It's sort of like the evangelicals that proselytized in the African Congo. The Africans didn't know that nudity was wrong until the evangelicals told them so.
Some people are very good at making others feel inferior. It's the nature of the human condition.
Agreed.
See bold: That's part and parcel for the sect that needs the validation of others. If they can't feel good with themselves, they'll make themselves look good by comparison by putting down others (and they get MAD when others fight back...apparently, we're supposed to admit their superior parenting without contesting it...)
I remember dd coming home from kindergaten and asking me why I don't love her. When I asked her why she thought that, she told me that one of her classmates moms said that moms who love their children stay home. It takes a very insecure person to tell a child that. Sadly, for this little girl, her parents got divorced and she was left wondering why mommy no longer loved her when mommy went to work. The things some of these zealot idiots do to their kids just to stroke their own egos.
True - and it's true of most parents including fathers because most parents really do care about what is best for their kids.
Who can know the child more than the parent? The parent who was there when the child was conceived, there when the child was born, the parent knows the child from the very start. Still -- good parents sometimes ask for advice, want to know how someone else would approach a problem.
I have very limited patience for mompetition. The "one size fits all" approach to parenting is just unrealistic, IMO. With the exception of truly egregious behavior (eg, harming the child), there are too many variables involved to say X always leads to Y. Unsolicited comments about parenting (or anything really) tend to annoy me.
And it can actually be bad.
For example when discussing toilet-training you will get those who think that early potty training means they are the best and their child is the best.
One mother will claim her child was potty trained by age 2 and therefore is a superior child and/or she is a superior mom but then another mom will proudly point out her child was potty trained by 18 months, but than nother mom can top that by claiming her child was fully trained by 12 months. One woman where i work in one of these conversations actually insisted her children were all potty-trained at 9 months of age!
That can be damaging to a new mother who believes these claims and feels there is no something terribly wrong with her child of 2 1/2 who is still not potty trained.
For example when discussing toilet-training you will get those who think that early potty training means they are the best and their child is the best.
One mother will claim her child was potty trained by age 2 and therefore is a superior child and/or she is a superior mom but then another mom will proudly point out her child was potty trained by 18 months, but than nother mom can top that by claiming her child was fully trained by 12 months. One woman where i work in one of these conversations actually insisted her children were all potty-trained at 9 months of age!
That can be damaging to a new mother who believes these claims and feels there is no something terribly wrong with her child of 2 1/2 who is still not potty trained.
Well, I don't know whether to pat my head or scratch my butt. I have one who didn't day time potty train until 3 and wet the bed until she was 10 and one who potty trained herself at 12 months. So am I a lousy mom because dd#1 didn't potty train until 3 or a great mom because dd#1 potty trained herself (literally, we weren't even thinking she could be remotely ready after her sister). I'm so confused...
Walking's another one. I'll never forget going to the park with dd#2 when she was about 18 months. I got distracted talking to another mom and the next thing you know, dd#2 is STANDING on top of the monkey bars. The other mother started to panic but I knew if we didn't upset dd#2 she'd climb down on her own. She had great balance. To calm the other mother down so she didn't startle dd#2, I said "Don't worry, she has great balance. She's been walking since she was 9 months old.". The other mother, proceeded to huff "WELL, my daughter walked at 8 months." and left, lol. Then I told dd to climb down and we went home.
Too bad she hated gymnastics. She was a natural at it. She could do anything that was modeled for her but she would not practice. Of course, now that she's a cheerleader she tells me I should have made her do gymnastics....I'm such a lousy mom....
I agree that the mompetition is bad for new moms. That's why I get into debates regarding SAH/WOH. There are too many new moms already questioning whether working harms their kids. They need someone who's done the research to let them know that the idiots who think we hurt our kids by working are just idiots who are trying to justify their own choices. I really don't care what someone else does but I'll slam them up against a wall if they try to make someone else feel guilty about their chioce. IMO, you deserve what you get if you pull that crap.
I am the greatest mom ever. If you don't parent exactly like me, you are doing it wrong and your child will never be successful. My DD was born, looked at the nurse and (with perfect manners, of course) said "Excuse me Miss. Would you mind cleaning me off and wrapping me in a nice warm blanket. It was so nice, warm and comfortable in there that this all feels very shocking to me. I also don't think it is appropriate for me to be seen in this state of undress. I would like to thank you for your assistance in this matter." After she got wrapped up, she walked into the bathroom, used the potty, washed her hands and then went to make herself a snack before settling down with a good book. Obviously, I am the best mother in the world.
I agree that the mompetition is bad for new moms. That's why I get into debates regarding SAH/WOH. There are too many new moms already questioning whether working harms their kids. They need someone who's done the research to let them know that the idiots who think we hurt our kids by working are just idiots who are trying to justify their own choices. I really don't care what someone else does but I'll slam them up against a wall if they try to make someone else feel guilty about their chioce. IMO, you deserve what you get if you pull that crap.
But apparently it's okay for you to slam SAHM's choices? Got it.
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