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Old 12-15-2011, 02:37 PM
 
55 posts, read 134,790 times
Reputation: 37

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My husband and I placed an ad on a website to volunteer to meet a family who needed a little help for Christmas, as far as a few gifts.
A lady replied and she is completely fine with us going to her home to meet her and her family.
She said she is terminally ill and this will be her last Christmas, for her son.
She said his only other gifts would come from his Grandmother and her sister. (paint set and airplane)
I asked what type things he likes and she said "boy things" but he wants a baby doll and carriage.
So, a terminally ill Mother, and toys that are normally for girls.

How do we get around this thought, that we may be buying gifts for someone beside the 9 year old boy?

Boys clothes or sports items, etc?

Some girls play with boy toys, and vice versa.
We do not want to be tricked though.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:43 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,760 posts, read 8,758,603 times
Reputation: 13122
Meet the family and ask the boy what he wants for Christmas.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:44 PM
 
Location: here
24,854 posts, read 33,110,492 times
Reputation: 32639
The entire thing sounds fishy to me. What kind of web site was this? How reputable is the site? Is there a "middle person" who over-sees this? If you went or if you go to meet the family, can you ask the boy what he wants?
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:48 PM
 
14,323 posts, read 11,698,452 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by suenjohn View Post
My husband and I placed an ad on a website to volunteer to meet a family who needed a little help for Christmas, as far as a few gifts.
A lady replied and she is completely fine with us going to her home to meet her and her family.
She said she is terminally ill and this will be her last Christmas, for her son.
She said his only other gifts would come from his Grandmother and her sister. (paint set and airplane)
I asked what type things he likes and she said "boy things" but he wants a baby doll and carriage.
So, a terminally ill Mother, and toys that are normally for girls.

How do we get around this thought, that we may be buying gifts for someone beside the 9 year old boy?

Boys clothes or sports items, etc?

Some girls play with boy toys, and vice versa.
We do not want to be tricked though.

Get the boy what he wants?
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:49 PM
 
14,781 posts, read 39,667,892 times
Reputation: 14532
I think I would proceed with caution, in fact I don't know if I would go through with it. At my office we adopt several families in lieu of giving gifts to each other, but the families and their situation are all vetted either through churches and charity organizations or known personally by someone in the office. There are plenty of people who need help, but I think I would try to reach them through a community organization, charity or church long before I just posted a random message asking if anyone needed help.

I also don't get the desire to meet them, is that some sort of way you figured you would vet their story, or is it that you want the satisfaction of seeing them get the presents. If it's the latter, I would caution that charity is its own reward and the feeling should be tied to giving the gift and not some satisfaction of seeing the fruits of the charity.

You basically have two choices. Go ahead with it and provide them what they ask for and don't think twice about it, it is charity afterall; or you can back out and try to seek out a different outlet for your charity that is more formalized.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:52 PM
 
14,323 posts, read 11,698,452 times
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I would not be donating to anyone that was not through a trustworthy organization. I thought the issue was the girl toys. That is what I get for reading too fast. You kind of put yourself out there by putting an ad up.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,977 posts, read 13,385,466 times
Reputation: 14843
It smells like a bit of a scammish story to me. Proceed with caution. And I agree with the others, there are lots of ways to adopt a legit family.
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Old 12-15-2011, 03:01 PM
 
55 posts, read 134,790 times
Reputation: 37
I know the reaction to this, but the website is Craigslist. However, that does not mean the situation is a scam.
Asking the child for a list of things he might want sounds like a good idea.
One year, I went to meet a couple and when they opened the door, I saw 20+ empty beer cans on the floor = WHY they could not buy their kids any gifts = I did not go back.
We prefer to meet them and do not want to just hand someone gift cards or a box of new toys, etc.
She said we could stay for Christmas dinner. The idea was that we would get an item or two for the Mother to give to the child from Santa. Then we would go back Christmas Day and say, that Santa forgot something and take another gift to the child. This way we do get to see the joy. We have no kids, so this is something we hope for. As far as dinner, I think we'd rather say that Santa also forgot to leave a gift card to a place like Golden Corral and we take the two of them there for lunch. If she just wants the gift card, we won't give it to her. If she does not want the 4 of us to go eat, we'll keep the gift card and spend 15 minutes at the home, let the child show us the things he got and let them open the special gift that Santa forgot to deliver the night before. As far as the doll and carriage, she said try a thift store like Goodwill. so, she is not exactly trying to reel us in for alot of expense. And to be honest we are a stranger to her just like she is a stranger to us. Maybe she has breast cancer or something. Asking for a baby and carriage from a thift store, just does not sound like a scam.
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Old 12-15-2011, 03:03 PM
 
32,524 posts, read 33,817,315 times
Reputation: 32487
You are going to a stranger's house?

NO!

There are a whole bunch of reputable places to donate cash and gifts. Churches, car dealerships, TV stations. There are boxes set up in my local grocery store for toys and food. Do NOT go to a stranger's house. It is so unsafe I'm shocked you would even think to do it.

(Who even goes on Craigslist and then invites a total stranger to their house? It's also unsafe for the recipient.)

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-15-2011 at 03:12 PM..
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Old 12-15-2011, 03:04 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,719,610 times
Reputation: 3579
She might be lying but if she is why wouldn't she also just lie and say she has more kids then she really does if the gift is for someone else. KWIM? It could be a lie but it could be totally legit. I'd probably follow through this year with a few things but go through a legit organization next time.

Last edited by Dorthy; 12-15-2011 at 03:12 PM.. Reason: added a word
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