Children and privacy (how much to give them) (games, girls, activity)
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I was just reading along.....not being affected by much until I ran across this statement. Really, who CARES what all of her friends are doing? Are they having sex? Smoking pot? Sneaking out? Drinking? If they were all doing it, would you let HER do it? Not being confrontational, but putting things into context. Rule #1 of parenting.....It does not matter what all the other kids are doing. This is YOUR child and as such, what SHE is doing or allowed to do, is all you should ever worry about.
This I do agree with, just in general. Isn't one of the privileges of parenting being able to bust out the old 'if your friends jumped off a bridge..."
Well OP, if some of these posters haven't convinced you that letting your child go inline is a bad idea, because there are so many nuts that have access to any person on here, and almost any social media
program, then I don't know what would.
If you are a minor, and you're living under your parent's roof, using the internet they pay for on a computer they bought - too bad, so sad.
Fact is, if you're a minor and your parents are responsible for you and/or your actions, your parents have the a legal responsibility to be aware of what you're up to.
For example, if you choose to sext on your cell phone, this could result in you or your parents facing life-long criminal charges. Is it fair to your parents to pay the consequences for your actions? If the use of the cell phone was monitored and the chance of sexting stopped before it turned into a crime, would that be worth the invasion of privacy? We're talking potential life-long criminal record here.
If your teenager, age 17, has nude photos of a significant other that is a minor on the family owned computer, a prosecutor could file charges against mom and dad for child pornography. Is it fair for you to face criminal charges for the actions of your teenager?
A child does not need to be un-monitored on the computer or cell phone to get a chance to relax. So, your argument is irrelevent.
Absolutely right! As PARENTS you are legally accountable for your children's actions. Only ignorant and/or clueless people do not get that concept. In protecting yourselves, you can be protecting your own children. It is a parent's responsibility TO protect their children, even if that means protecting them from themselves. They don't have to like it. Hell, their opinion really doesn't even matter. It's not our job to see to it that our children get to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. It is our job to make certain decisions for them until they're MATURE and RESPONSIBLE enough to do it for themselves. It is our job to see to it that they don't suck us into a legal black hole or put our families in danger....because sometimes, it comes down to exactly that!
If you look at some of the horror stories out there about kids giving out personal information to online "friends", resulting in rapes, abductions, robberies, etc., it's insane for parents to bury their heads in the sand, concerning the monitoring of their young children. Ignorant, immature people do not understand the concept.
Well OP, if some of these posters haven't convinced you that letting your child go inline is a bad idea, because there are so many nuts that have access to any person on here, and almost any social media
program, then I don't know what would.
Its only bad if you let it be.
The internet is not the digital wild wild west where you have no control.
I would give an 11 year old a facebook.
You set it to where:
-Someone has to be her friend to message her.
-She is not searchable in the search bar.
-Her profile is private and ONLY FRIENDS can see her profile.
-People over 18 cannot add her or message her.
-You add her as a friend.
-You have her login information.
-Don't let her add people she doesn't know, make it a requirement that she HAS to know the person in real life to be allowed to add them.
Check it weekly from your profile, look at who her friends are, look at their profiles, and maybe once every two weeks to a month look at her messages see if there are any messages that might be alarming, make sure she hasn't changed the settings. Teach her what to not give out on the internet.
Yes, way to parent. Teaching your 11 yr old that it is ok to cheat, lie. And, if you think she will be able to tell the wierdos from the good ppl at her age, you are totally irresponsible. So, how are you gonna keep track of what friends are real life, and what are facebook (who knows who they are) You'll have to monitor constantly. And, we aren't really going on about all the bullying, etc. that happens online among kids. Why not be a good parent, instead of a "friend" and make her wait til 13. By then both of you might be smarter.
Yes, way to parent. Teaching your 11 yr old that it is ok to cheat, lie. And, if you think she will be able to tell the wierdos from the good ppl at her age, you are totally irresponsible. So, how are you gonna keep track of what friends are real life, and what are facebook (who knows who they are) You'll have to monitor constantly. And, we aren't really going on about all the bullying, etc. that happens online among kids. Why not be a good parent, instead of a "friend" and make her wait til 13. By then both of you might be smarter.
It's called knowing your childrens friends. If I dont know or haven't met the friend then they will need to come by the house or I will need to meet them before being added.
Which is also another good way to get to know who your kids are hanging out with.
You know if she has a shady friend she is hanging out with and wants to add them and they come over and I don't get a good vibe or I find out they are getting in a lot of trouble then they are not added and not going to be hung out with.
Its only bad if you let it be.
The internet is not the digital wild wild west where you have no control.
I would give an 11 year old a facebook.
You set it to where:
-Someone has to be her friend to message her.
-She is not searchable in the search bar.
-Her profile is private and ONLY FRIENDS can see her profile.
-People over 18 cannot add her or message her.
-You add her as a friend.
-You have her login information.
-Don't let her add people she doesn't know, make it a requirement that she HAS to know the person in real life to be allowed to add them.
Check it weekly from your profile, look at who her friends are, look at their profiles, and maybe once every two weeks to a month look at her messages see if there are any messages that might be alarming, make sure she hasn't changed the settings. Teach her what to not give out on the internet.
Its a very valuable teaching moment.
No, the teachable moment is that the policy is you have to be 13 years old, you have 2 years to wait before you can have your own account. You may use the family account on occasion. Then you have total control of who is added, and what is seen on your account page. You'll do what you want obviously about this question you posted. But, ask yourself...Why did I ask for opinions of strangers, if I was sure that it was a non-issue. You asked because even you know it is not a good idea.
No, the teachable moment is that the policy is you have to be 13 years old, you have 2 years to wait before you can have your own account. You may use the family account on occasion. Then you have total control of who is added, and what is seen on your account page. You'll do what you want obviously about this question you posted. But, ask yourself...Why did I ask for opinions of strangers, if I was sure that it was a non-issue. You asked because even you know it is not a good idea.
I have boxes full of my old journals. The only thing I've re-read is the poetry I wrote in junior high. To tell you the truth I can't imagine subjecting people to all that young angst and "My parents don't understand me!! Waaaa." Insert crying sound here. I wrote for myself. Period.
Judging by my Jr. High poetry someone should have yelled "Get over it!" in my ear. I hope to heaven I wasn't that insufferable to be around. I probably was. My poor parents.
I never understood the whole diary thing. I had one sometime during Bill Clinton's presidency, and I only wrote in it once. It had something to do with Clinton being president and my dislike of that.
Now, one of my sisters had a diary, a fake diary, a livejournal, and a secret livejournal.
I'm a computer nerd but have big reservations when it comes to technology and especially my daughter who is extremely immature for her age (almost 12). She has a cell phone but no texting plan even though all her friends have it. She doesn't have a FB account nor would I get her one since she lacks the emotional maturity right now. We do let her use the computer for projects, play some single player games but we have NetNanny on both kid's computers and all our computers are down in our basement which serves as a central place.
Call me paranoid or over protective but I know my daughter and with her huge immaturity and tendencies to cause drama and strife around her (has happened every year in school and sadly this year in Middle School), giving her unlimited freedom on the computer would be a recipe for disaster. She would be the kid posting inappropriate silly things or making snarky comments online about other girls or getting herself into some bad situations.
In the Middle School orientation we heard at the beginning of the year, the principal was telling us about some social networking site that became hugely popular last year and the kids were using that to post extremely hateful and spiteful things about one another---extremely vulgar, sexual, etc and it became a large problem that the school had to clean up. No way, no how will I allow my kid on those sites.
When she grows up a bit, I will loosen the reins. Our computers will still be centrally located in one room though---that is just the way we do things.
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