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By this logic, we'd better stop enforcing laws against robbery and assault and wait for parents to start raising their kids better. In the meantime, we still need to protect the victims and stop the bullies. If their parents are given a chance and won't do it, then the schools and authorities had better step in before it's too late.
I don't disagree with your sentiments, but there are also reasonable precautions people can take to minimize their chances of being robbed or assaulted. People take these steps precisely because it is impossible for law enforcement and other authorities to wholesale prevent it from happening. In the case of bullies there aren't really any laws against being an a-hole, so the best strategy is to learn how to deal with a-holes and minimize their impact on your life.
My caveat: none of them are particularly compelling when weighed against the intense emotion produced by reading the harassment, although they are valid. Ultimately, most decided to make their settings private to minimize, though not eliminate, exposure.
The two big themes were:
-Why should I have to change my behavior when I am not doing anything to warrant the attacks? And its correlate, I am not going to let them dictate how I live my life.
-I want to at least know what is being said about me, so I can be prepared when I go to school and people are talking about it. And its correlate, It is more upsetting when it takes me by surprise, at least this way I can control when I see it.
Interesting perspectives. As someone else pointed out, those are not always logical choices, but they do make some sense.
Two years ago, my daughter told me about some terrible messages she saw about another girl on a site called Formspring. (I could be misremembering the name.) I looked, and she was receiving appalling messages like, "Kill yourself now, you ugly ****" and "Everybody hates you" and "Do us all a favor and die." It was horrible. I didn't know the girl, so I contacted their principal. (She and I had already been involved because my daughter was in a similar situation--not as bad--that another parent had brought to her attention.) I was shocked that this was a site anyone would visit, given the anonymous comments, but I learned that's a setting the user has to enable. That girl could have turned off anonymous comments, probably eliminating them altogether because those comments seem to come from cowards, but she didn't. Your explanation at least makes sense to me.
I think that bullying has become so common in schools and no one seems to know how to stop it. I think it takes a group effort to help stop this problem that has become so frequent in schools across the nation. Everyone needs to get involved including students, parents, teachers, and law makers. If there were stricter penalties for prosecuting these bullies than maybe they would be less likely to do it. I think that any qualified professionals who has experience dealing with teenage issues should get together and form a site where kids who are being bullied can go to discuss their feelings and help them deal with bullying in a more positive manner.
I don't disagree with your sentiments, but there are also reasonable precautions people can take to minimize their chances of being robbed or assaulted. People take these steps precisely because it is impossible for law enforcement and other authorities to wholesale prevent it from happening. In the case of bullies there aren't really any laws against being an a-hole, so the best strategy is to learn how to deal with a-holes and minimize their impact on your life.
Agree with your sentiments, but remember the people in these cases (bullying) are minors, children who do not always have the means or capabilities to take charge of the bullying before it overwhelms them. As parents, we all have a role in coming up with these best strategies, though many will disagree on which are most effective. But there are also laws that our children are entitled to equal access to education and other civil rights. Those are the rights that we need to be protecting.
Interesting perspectives. As someone else pointed out, those are not always logical choices, but they do make some sense.
Two years ago, my daughter told me about some terrible messages she saw about another girl on a site called Formspring. (I could be misremembering the name.) I looked, and she was receiving appalling messages like, "Kill yourself now, you ugly ****" and "Everybody hates you" and "Do us all a favor and die." It was horrible. I didn't know the girl, so I contacted their principal. (She and I had already been involved because my daughter was in a similar situation--not as bad--that another parent had brought to her attention.) I was shocked that this was a site anyone would visit, given the anonymous comments, but I learned that's a setting the user has to enable. That girl could have turned off anonymous comments, probably eliminating them altogether because those comments seem to come from cowards, but she didn't. Your explanation at least makes sense to me.
I was also thinking along these lines.
Does anyone think it's possible she kept the fb wall open secretly hoping that at least one responsible adult in her life or one true friend would see the behavior and report it to someone who could perhaps put a stop to it -- as Just Julia did with her daughter's classmate?
I can't help but admit my initial reaction when I saw the story was simply, "contrived." It's always sad when anyone takes their own life, but even before I read details of the story, which would later confirm my initial gut reaction, I felt like this... I don't know... wasn't your typical tortured teen? At least not like the ones in the bullying stories I've read.
I've been reading bullying stories for a long time, and I have the strong feeling that if bullying and suicides stemming from it weren't glorified in the press as they are these days, the appeal to do such a thing would not have been as strong for her. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if she opened up her Facebook wall to the public before she stepped out in front of the bus, so that in the aftermath.... you know. Drama would ensue.
I believe she was a dramatic and chemically off-balance teenager (as is the case with many teenagers - hormones gone awry) more so than a tortured one.. even if she did have a few bullies.
We get it --- you don't care that this girl committed suicide, it's all her own fault, you don't care that a family and many in her community are grieving. In short, you don't give a ***** about a 15 year old who felt she had no other way out other than to run in front of an oncoming bus.
Now, go post some nasty messages on the Facebook memorial page that was opened for her. Oh, and make sure to let her family know this had nothing to do with anyone else. She just wanted "drama" so she ran in front of a bus.
It sounds to me we have to go back to some old methods
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
Son/Daughter, you just remember you Kwan Do training, if they physically assault you, you kick the crap out of them.
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Stop the bullying....
